Dating Thread 134 - 50 Swipes of Tinder

[RunsforCake14]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Oh yes refusal to call or meet would be massive red flags! It's hard to put my finger on what exactly I'm testing - just general wit I suppose? If I'm sending witty bantz and they just send 'ok babe' back then we're done. Thinking back, all relationships I've had have started with online/text back-and-forth first. I got a 4 and 9yr relationship out of two, and OK the third turned out to be a bit weird/controlling/abusive and dumped fairly swiftly BUT he did call and meet quickly too, so although he passed the wit test he also passed the call and meet test and it was only when he had his feet under the table that he started trying out some control...and I dumped him.

Joining, I ended a LTR last year, and went live on Tinder and e-harmony two weeks ago. I have two ‘meet for coffee’ during the day dates on Saturday.

@meowimacat love your attitude to this! I'm not impressed by celebrity (especially when they're usually less celeb, more reality TV) but there's someone I follow (sort of minor celeb) who I messaged once (not about being single!). They followed me back but I've done nothing. I'm fairly confident they're single but I wouldn't know what to do to start a conversation!

@lookingforbutterflies maybe 5-10 years ago I would have been more impressed by this situation, but now a person is a person. In your case why not just comment on his next photo, or do that with a few and see if they respond/contact you. I think there’s no issue with making it clear you like them- liking their pics etc but I don’t chase. I’ve just found he actually lives really near me so maybe that’s why he’s singled me out. Although I highly doubt I’m singled out at all! Haha.

@lookingforbutterflies imagine if we were talking about the same guy! 😂😂😂

Haha @meowimacat that could possibly be true!!!

I want to know who he is meow but Im a curious cat.

Having a very dull time on POF at the moment. Messages back & forth with Mr Aircraft, but I'm not feeling any zing. Was chatting to Mr ManagementConsultant but he took issue with me having read Richard Dawkins because he is fundamental christian, so he was a no go!

It took 3 months for me to find the last one, so I'll hang in there but it mostly bores me.

Looking forward to hearing more about MrJ from Jax and a potential celeb hook up from Meow!

dimots - surely your thing with the younger man is just a lust thing? If you want to see him again for sex, then why not but if you think you might want more, then you might want to find out a bit more about him before shagging him again.

Thanks LeCha still feeling lost. God knows why, on paper he was an awful boyfriend and I hardly saw him towards the end but we msgd every day (still... crap convos) it’s just the feeling of rejection maybe? Don’t know what to do.....

I've had a smile from a guy on eharmony who's profile picture is a screenshot of an eharmony profile picture
What does everyone say to guys that they aren't interested in from the first contact? Ignore? Say thanks for your interest but...?

It's a long story apparently and he's not that savvy at uploading things but assured me it is him "not that you'd be interested anyway." Yep, got that right!

Margo it probably is a lust thing, but I didn't think that was my style. Now I think maybe it might be!

It just surprised me how easy it was. We chatted after sex before he went home and it still felt easy and not at all awkward. In the past I've only had sex with men I've got to know beforehand and emotionally attached to and afterwards I've always felt full of angst, worrying about whether he would remain interested or whether he would drop me now we'd had sex.

I'm beginning to wonder if I've missed a trick and should have sex much earlier after meeting someone. If he bails at that point it is much easier than if I'd got emotionally attached. If he doesn't, no harm done?

I am also chatting to another man 15 years younger than me. I've met him and we kissed and it got a bit heated.

I don't recognize myself!

Thank you meow and xiola I'm not convinced that leaving my POF profile active with make any difference. But I've rewritten it slightly and unhidden myself. I'm prepared to eat my words if I get any decent interest.
Tinder - no matches at all for 2 weeks. I swipe right on nearly everyone. Think I've broken it.
Bumble - had 6 matches initially but only 2 replied. One I unmatched the other unmatched me. So that's just as bad.

It's kind of soul destroying to not have any interest at all apart from obvious weirdos.

Mrcomputer is back. We're swapping texts

He's suggested meeting up in the nearby city. 5 mins for him to get to. About 20-30mons for me

This thread is my saviour! Thank you!

Realise I'm guilty of getting chatting with a guy and getting far to 'involved' after just a day or two, am learning (with your help!) to take a step back and yes, I agree that meeting asap if there is a connection is really important. Annoyingly I'm now messaging (via whattsapp) someone who's on holiday for two weeks (Mr Holiday) - so can't meet up til he's back. He seems the real deal from what I can work out so far and sending pics from his hols etc, and I'm trying very hard to hold back.

What I find difficult as well is that completely unreasonable feeling I get when I see that I guy I'm 'speaking to' I think see 'online' on the dating site!! Of course it's ridiculous because I'm on there too but each time I see it I get all sort of jealous (not the right word but I'm sure you know what I mean!).

Am chatting to someone else too who just responds with one liners the whole time and no questions - argh! Why do men do that?!!

meow am intrigued as to your minor celeb - have you actually fixed a date yet?

RunsforCake don't be disheartened, it happens to us all, just like buses, a load of weirdos and then someone nice pops out of nowhere. Did laugh at you having broken Tinder though!!!

Please can someone tell me why so many men have photos of either a. them holding a fish
b. an out of focus one of them on the sofa
c. taken in the gents

All of those get an automatic no from me!

I'm about a month into OLD and honestly want to give up. I'm either too fussy or talk to f**k boys.

When did meeting someone become so hard?

There's nothing wrong with having standards you know PhoenixK!

Arrrgh. I've been a massive idiot and fucked up ROYALLY on POF.

This potato head guy messaged this morning, just normal banal stuff. Then out of the blue accused me of being married and cheating (because I was only ever online during the day and not evenings or weekends - which is bollocks anyway, it's usually evenings and weekends!)

I felt compelled to justify myself somehow, and he kept on and on about it, and I kept disagreeing. He calls me a cheater again and again 🙄 and finally blocks me after giving me his number 🤷 For some godforsaken reason, I text him back, still arguing with him. I get 'ok' back and just leave it.

This evening, I decide to report him, as its bothering me, go to his profile, and there's a picture of a woman on there, and the bio now says 'I'm a married cheater'. It's obviously someone that he's done the same thing to. I'm now petrified that he's going to do the same to me. Her number (or what I assume is her number) is on there too.

FUCK. HOW have I been such a gullible idiot?!?!?!
I've obviously reported him, but OMG what have I done?!?!

Oh jesus, now I have way too many huge paragraphs. My phone is a dick.

Rabbit pretty sure he'll get banned from the site so no one will be able to see what he's put up even if he does put anything up. If anything weird like that happens with anyone else just report them straight away, take a screen shot of their profile to send with your report, and block them.

Sky what a horrible man I'd a guy threaten to post my number here as I'd pulled away from chatting as he was getting possessive and crude. I removed my profile and deleted any pictures. Hopefully he won't do anything. That was the final straw with me for OLD for the moment anyway

Sky What a complete tosser of a man, as Literary says I have no doubt he'll get banned and then everything will be removed. I've had to get two guys banned and from my experience they act pretty quickly to remove the profiles.

Thanks you lot. He's been deleted now, phew! I think I need to figure out why I felt the need to reply to him, and justify myself. I usually just ignore them, but this one knew which buttons to press to get responses.
I'll go read the thread now and see what excitement people are having.

I may come off sites too.

Tonight's date was rearranged for tomorrow, sounded like a genuine reason but I've had lovely night with friends instead. Not sure if I'll cancel tomorrow and give things a rest.