Dating Thread 134 - 50 Swipes of Tinder

[RunsforCake14]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Ohhh my hormones always get the better of me. Frankly im desperate for a shag/some touch now but im doing my best to take it slow this time

Hi sorry I'm a lurker but just wanted to say
Meow
Please don't meet someone for the first time at your house it's rule Number 1 of OLD he could be anyone i went on 5 dates with someone I never let him know where I lived the last date i sat in his car after a movie we talked and then kissed and he was kissing me and had his arm around me i tried to pull away and he wouldn't let me I quickly left and never spoke to him again before that he seemed really nice so please be careful

Genuine question but can you really expect to get a long term relationship of OLD?
Most of the relationships don't tend to go further than the six month mark.

Only one of my girlfriends uses OLD. Actually your question reminded me to phone her! She's been with a partner over 6 months.

I don't think it would suit me. I did was told that the majority of people get together with people they already know (like me!)

Ok deep breath, I haven’t signed up anywhere yet but I want and need to be brave. Any tips for newbies? Which platforms are best? I am only just emerging from end of marriage so I am only looking for bit of fun not a LTR... I had hoped to just meet people at social events but that’s not proving easy...

I think we often have a 6th sense about people and can often just tell if they are for us or not.

You definitely can have a long-term relationship from OLD. I went on Tinder last year, first match, first date and we're still together almost 18 months on. He's great and had been on OLD for three years. I'm 100% sure this is the real deal and I'm so happy. God bless tinder.

Hi
So I'm 32 and my husband walked out just over a year ago after 10yrs together recently realised it was EA.

Been doing OLD for a while without any luck recently been chatting to a bloke Mr unsure and meeting on Sat we have been chatting every day and he seems kean and we have loads in common but I just don't think I'm going to fancy him 😢

Kitty why don't you think you'll fancy him?

user off the top of my head, two of my friends are married to and have kids with men they met online, another one not married but they've been together for 7 or 8 years and have a kid, two more together 2-3 years and engaged and yet another one living together a year in. I've had a 3-year relationship from match.com myself and he's still one of my favourite people. So yeah, I have no doubt that it absolutely can and does work but there's a huge element of luck involved, as there is with meeting someone in real life.

literay it's just from his pictures. I don't know he seems small i like a man a bit boarder. It's hard to explain i hope I'm wrong. Fed up of chatting to men and it's like pulling teeth or I met them and never hear from them again

Just wanted to update on Mr Potentially Lovebomber....

We had only been chatting online, incredibly intense and my inner voice kept saying to me, be careful. I'm glad I did!

He ended up sending me like 20,000 pictures of himself. Kept trying to video call me when I said that a chat on the phone would be how I would like to start!

Kept trying to steer the conversation towards sex, gave him a couple of warnings to keep it classy, which he disnt take on board, so eventually I just ignored him. This morning he has blocked me so he's saved me the job. Ha!

Lesson learnt and this is the first time in a long time where I have trusted my intuition fully..... do not ignore it. If you get a feeling then hold back and watch what happens, the players cheats and liars will show their true colours eventually!

X

Vixen that's really good advice. Funnily enough I got a funny spidey feeling about Mr Doctor last night. He has been chatty, polite, etc. We've not spoken on the phone or met but he's telling me he will miss me when I'm away this weekend. He also keeps telling me how hot I am and he wants to take things slowly but does want to sleep with me. We haven't even met, how do you know that?!

When I said we really should meet he simply agreed, but is it not forthcoming with making actual plans. I realise I could do that, but I'm waiting for him to do it.
Maybe I'm overthinking, but I'm erring on the side of caution.

vixen well done for listening to your gut i don't do sex talk well unless it's a long time partner then maybe lol
One guy kept hinting at it I kept pulling him up he said he wasn't and it was a real fine line he was very clever about doing it but not i was starting to doubt myself in the end I just blocked him

tom just arrange to meet i do got fed up of spending ages talking to someone for it to go no where after we first meet

Well done vixen! Always listen to your gut.
Tom listen to yours too. He sounds like he's all talk and no trousers. Most people will want to meet quite soon especially if they have been chatting daily. Saying he wants sex when he's not even met you would be a red flag to me.

It seems OLD is full of weirdos that understandably can't find anyone IRL off the bat. There might be some great guys on there but so many have so many issues and it soon becomes obvious why they are single. Of course the same might be said of women on OLD.

user I also know people who are married and have met on OLD so it can work. You'll see more profiles than people you will meet IRL so I think that is why it seems that there are more strange ones, when in reality there probably isn't. I am interested as to why you have put the 6 months as a marker. I am approaching this time now with the guy I am dating from OLD.

vixen well done for realising. At least he blocked you first so saved you that job!

tom I also think that maybe you should now take the lead in suggesting to meet and then you'll be able to assess whether he does have the intention of meeting you. The longest I have spoken to someone without meeting is about a week and a half... and that was due to the holiday period.

kitty I'm away till Monday, so will maybe suggest something when I'm back, if he doesn't. I'll ask once, and if it's a no that's it.

literary I did think it was odd! He put it in a nice way about hoping we'd be intimate one day, then told me how "excited" he'd got at work I just thought that was odd and wondered if he was angling for sex talk (most of them are!). Apart from that he's lovely, very chatty, but I do think he's all mouth and no trousers. Thank goodness for this thread to keep me grounded. And Amy Young!!

Excited at work? He's a dr? Yuck.

Exactly! And I am wondering if he really is a doctor...

Tom start asking him some probing questions about what it is that he does- like what is his specialty? What does he want to end up doing? Where did he train? Which route did he take into medicine- you'll soon begin to realise whether he is or not!

That's a really good idea, thanks Vixen.

Tom, remember Jeremy Clarkson is a doctor.

TomHardy I've had a guy tell me he was a practising Dr and I had a gut feeling he wasn't. He used to sit and brag about all the lives he'd saved and how fantastic he was. I just knew it was all lies but had no evidence. Ended up finding out his surname and searched for him on the GMC register which he wasn't on. I didn't want to outright admit I had done that so ended up asking him a couple of simple basic medical questions and he was bluffing like mad. I ended it with him and six months later saw him on Pof and his occupation had 'lawyer'.

Jeremy Clarkson...?