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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

AIBU - Sent a personal pic

255 replies

ThirdTimeUnlucky · 30/05/2018 14:25

So, I've been dating a guy for 3 mths. We send personal pics to each other - no big deal. He requested one recently a bit more personal so I decided to send one today as he was stressed at work.
His response was along the lines of who's m*nge is that?
I replied 'just delete it' and then blocked him on WA.
He's now saying (via text msgs) I'm being unreasonable, he apologised for using the wrong terminology, said it took him by surprise (obviously not in a nice way). His last msg was 'I can't win'.
I was going to unblock him but he's just dug a bigger hole for himself.
Am I being unreasonable? He asked for the pic not so long ago. I even edited it with a X (kiss). I feel insulted that he didn't know it was mine! Shock. Lol.

OP posts:
SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 30/05/2018 16:40

thought you'd like to see what was for dinner

Was there a ragu in the background?

SoyDora · 30/05/2018 16:40

I am curious as to what sort of reply you expected?
I know he asked for one a week ago, but it still would have come a bit out of the blue. He was at work and stressed by his own admission. I doubt he was immediately going to become horny in that scenario, and reply with anything seductive?
IMO it sounds like he got a picture of a vagina at a time he wasn’t expecting it, wasn’t particularly in the mood for it, and responded accordingly. Why would you block him?

DontDrinkDontSmoke · 30/05/2018 16:43

At least he didn’t ask whose pishflaps they were Grin

woder · 30/05/2018 16:44

Wouldn't have worked years ago. By the time you got your snaps back from Boots, found the best one, stuck a stamp on the envelope and walked to the letterbox, I reckon the mood might have passed.

The following day when he got the pic he wouldn't have recognised your minge anyway, because people only did 'it' in the dark.

isthismylifenow · 30/05/2018 16:45

I work in quite a male orientated industry. There was a vag shot that was sent to a colleague. It wasn't 5 minutes before it had gone round all the blokes for approval. There were some bloody awful comments. I was more intrigued as to how she got the shot, must have been a selfie stick.... 😀

Friends brother having an affair. Sent a video of himself, well yknow having some fun. The gf and he fell out, she kept the video and is wanting money off him to not send it to his wife. First rule... Don't have affair. 2nd..dont make your face visible in said video. Lordy what a state he is in. I don't know him but his brother told me he asked him for the cash. Confused

HotSauceCommittee · 30/05/2018 16:46

You could follow it up with a pic of your bum hole winking suggestively at him.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 30/05/2018 16:46

If he DH is stressed at work I send him a photo of the apple pie I've made him, I'm sure he'd rather see that than my minge.

TatianaLarina · 30/05/2018 16:48

My life, my choice etc

Ok well take responsibility for your choices and stop feeling sorry for yourself.

If you send pics to someone you barely know it’s hardly surprising if he can’t identify your vag. Goes with the territory I’d say.

TodaysMostPopular · 30/05/2018 16:51

Christ almighty!!

It's 2018, I've sent all sorts over what's app and to countless people I'd hate to know the amount of people who have pics of me on their phone Blush

Anyways, op, I absolutely despise the word "fanny" & "minge", they make me feel sick.

However if it was me, I'd have simply sent back saying "it's the popes, who tf do you think it is??!"

UserV · 30/05/2018 16:51

Amen to THAT @tatiana

PolkaHots · 30/05/2018 16:52

A lot of this is coming across as slut shaming.

Rollawolla · 30/05/2018 16:53

😂 😂 😂 LOL op you are taking it way to heart he has apologised.. What more do you want him to do? If you feel like it's a deal breaker then end it. I think what you find cute might not be the same so you are being unreasonable as it wasn't a direct attack at you. Perhaps he asked whose it is as the request was over a week ago and he might of thought you wouldn't of sent him yours but someone else's?

UserV · 30/05/2018 16:54

If you send pics to someone you barely know it’s hardly surprising if he can’t identify your vag. Goes with the territory I’d say.

VERY well said.

I bet all these the men who have 100's of pics of women who are daft enough to send minge pics to men they barely fucking know, don't even know one fanny from another. And I bet they have a fucking good laugh at the pics (AND the daft women,) with their mates!

sweeneytoddsrazor · 30/05/2018 16:55

If he DH is stressed at work I send him a photo of the apple pie I've made him, I'm sure he'd rather see that than my minge.

Fairly sure baked products were a masturbatory aid in American Pie
Grin

TodaysMostPopular · 30/05/2018 16:56

Friends brother having an affair. Sent a video of himself, well yknow having some fun. The gf and he fell out, she kept the video and is wanting money off him to not send it to his wife. First rule... Don't have affair. 2nd..dont make your face visible in said video. Lordy what a state he is in. I don't know him but his brother told me he asked him for the cash

^^ this is actually blackmail/extortion.

I'd have her arrested.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 30/05/2018 16:56

You've put me right off my apple pie now Grin🤢

Myotherusernameisbest · 30/05/2018 17:00

OMG I am crying laughing at these replies.

But seriously OP, please don't do that, just stop!

ShmooBooMoo · 30/05/2018 17:04

OP

Do you think it's wise to send such a photo after three months of dating? I don't want to sound judgmental but that's a very short time. It's a bit worrying you don't care who he shows (apart from family)... That makes you sound like you have little self-worth / poor self-esteem.
I think most women with a modicum or self-respect would not acquiesce to such a request after such a short time and most would be horrified at the prospect of an image of their private parts being passed around the office for fun, whether traceable back to them or not.
Maybe you should be less concerned at his reaction/ choice of words and more concerned with why you were so willing to debase yourself to please someone you barely know, and why you aren't bothered that this person may share the image with others.

UserV · 30/05/2018 17:10

Again, good post @schmoo. ^

AuntyElle · 30/05/2018 17:17

I think most women with a modicum or self-respect would not acquiesce to such a request after such a short time and most would be horrified at the prospect of an image of their private parts being passed around the office for fun, whether traceable back to them or not.

Now that is judgemental bollocks.
If OP genuinely wants to do this then she isn’t “debasing” herself. The bloke’s reaction might not be respectful, but she isn’t inherently disrespecting herself by her action.

PortiaCastis · 30/05/2018 17:18

Don't send pics of your twat to anyone, they could go astray and you may treat some unsuspecting granny to a pic of your grabber

ShmooBooMoo · 30/05/2018 17:23

AuntyElle I'd beg to differ but were all entitled to our opinions ideally without referring to others' opinions as bollocks

Olddear · 30/05/2018 17:27

Perhaps all he wanted was an uplifting verse from Helen Steiner Rice but imagine his surprise.......

RebelRogue · 30/05/2018 17:32

"No self respect,debasing,vulgar" and plenty more sneery and judgemental.

The virtual version of ancient stoning.

mimibunz · 30/05/2018 17:34

Gross, don’t do that! What happens when he forwards it to his friends or your parents?