Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

AIBU - Sent a personal pic

255 replies

ThirdTimeUnlucky · 30/05/2018 14:25

So, I've been dating a guy for 3 mths. We send personal pics to each other - no big deal. He requested one recently a bit more personal so I decided to send one today as he was stressed at work.
His response was along the lines of who's m*nge is that?
I replied 'just delete it' and then blocked him on WA.
He's now saying (via text msgs) I'm being unreasonable, he apologised for using the wrong terminology, said it took him by surprise (obviously not in a nice way). His last msg was 'I can't win'.
I was going to unblock him but he's just dug a bigger hole for himself.
Am I being unreasonable? He asked for the pic not so long ago. I even edited it with a X (kiss). I feel insulted that he didn't know it was mine! Shock. Lol.

OP posts:
CrispbuttyNo1 · 30/05/2018 15:40

-Also, I don't give a flying feck who he shows it to as long as it's not family, lol-

eughh really? I would be quite mortified if I met his work colleagues knowing he had been flashing around photos of my flashing..

There are times when I am so glad to be getting old.. if this is what passes for romance these days, Im quite happy to be past it!

MyKingdomForBrie · 30/05/2018 15:41

OP do you maybe just think that he thought you were taking the piss and sending him a random pic you had copied from google or something?

Just, imagining the scenario, he’s stressed at work, his mind is all on professional things, totally not in any way feeling sexual (unlike how he must have been feeling when he asked a week earlier) therefore, he opens the message and is taken aback/surprised and his first thought is maybe she’s taking the piss and sending me a hairy fanny pic.

I mean, it wouldn’t be odd of him to think that, and I’m not sure I could pick my husband’s genitals out of a line up without a bit of context..

You feel upset I think because you feel a bit stupid and embarrassed now; you went out on a limb and didn’t get the response you expected, but maybe he didn’t mean to be offensive he just genuinely got confused in the moment because it was all a bit out of place?

SofieMonde · 30/05/2018 15:42

@therelstron stroking a pussy is recommended to reduce stress, medically speaking like :) and to reduce loneliness, thats why the elderly have em lol

Charolais · 30/05/2018 15:42

The OP reads like a Jane Austin novel....

SoyDora · 30/05/2018 15:43

To be honest I’m not sure DH would recognise a picture of my vulva and we’ve been together for 9 years! I’d be pretty shocked if he ever called it a ‘minge’ though, he’s very polite.

UserV · 30/05/2018 15:43

@cjt110

Never heard of peer pressure? Or done something because you thought you had to?

No. I have NEVER done anything because I thought I had to.. Because I am not easily lead and weak. And I never have been.

And I have certainly not ever sent a picture of my fanny to a virtual stranger

@starsandstuff

It's totally your own business what you do with your body including photographing it and sharing it with someone if that's what you want to do.

If you say so luv. But don't cry off and whinge when you don't get the reaction you want, and some bloke you barely know has a picture of your FOOF! Wink

starsandstuff · 30/05/2018 15:44

don't cry off and whinge when you don't get the reaction you want, and some bloke you barely know has a picture of your FOOF!

Well if he didn't recognise it I'm sure strangers on the street won't so she's probably free to still pop into Tescos and that.

SillyMoomin · 30/05/2018 15:44

If he’d said “whose p*ssy is that?” Would that have been ok op? Confused

You probably startled the bloke in the middle of a meeting or whatnot. He asked for it last week. Probably whilst he was at
Home and in the mood. Not when he’s talking to Clive and Lorraine about excel spreadsheets

JaneJeffer · 30/05/2018 15:45

I was in the bath. He asked for a pic so I sent him one of the taps!!
Grin

SofieMonde · 30/05/2018 15:46

Guess he wasnt.....chuffed

EleanorHooverbelt · 30/05/2018 15:46

No. I have NEVER done anything because I thought I had to.. Because I am not easily lead and weak. And I never have been

That's good to hear. Unfortunately, I have with alcohol. Stemming from a dysfunctional childhood not giving me self-confidence or self-esteem.

Many of the issues young people face today involve peer pressure, certainly. Yes, we should all be striving to resist this, but addiction services certainly recognise the peer pressure element of behaviours.

catherinedevalois · 30/05/2018 15:48

How do you know that it was him who responded? Could be someone else who was looking through his phone. In which case it's probably been printed, enlarged and stuck on the noticeboard.

UserV · 30/05/2018 15:49

@starsandstuff

Well if he didn't recognise it I'm sure strangers on the street won't so she's probably free to still pop into Tescos and that.

Talk about naive!

Fuck me!

This man has a pic of her FANNY and knows who she is. Her name, where she lives, probably where she works, more than likely loads of people she knows. They probably have joint social media friends..... Who KNOWS who else?

But hey she can walk around fucking TESCO without people knowing what her fanny looks like!

Jesus fucking wept!

ThirdTimeUnlucky · 30/05/2018 15:49

Thanks starsandstuff - exactly!

Only 2 people seem to understand so I have asked Admin to delete my post. The rest of you can go find someone else to taunt.

OP posts:
EleanorHooverbelt · 30/05/2018 15:50

www.shemazing.net/coercion-young-women-under-pressure-to-send-nudes-study-shows/

However, a new study has shown that young women are under intense pressure to engage sexually online through the production and sharing of nude or sexual images.

79pc of women who refused to send naked pictures faced abuse, were broken up with, or dealt with some form of 'consequence' for saying no.

Other women reported being sent unsolicited nude images which would then be used as leverage to request nudes in return.

cjt110 · 30/05/2018 15:50

SleepingStandingUp Yes, I talk about my vagina allllll the time at work. No. Some people are not strong and one request, even if it was a week ago, has clearly left the OP stewing. Otherwise she wouldn't have sent a photo today.

UserV Good for you for being a strong person. Perhaps OP isnt

cjt110 · 30/05/2018 15:52

*www.shemazing.net/coercion-young-women-under-pressure-to-send-nudes-study-shows/

However, a new study has shown that young women are under intense pressure to engage sexually online through the production and sharing of nude or sexual images.

79pc of women who refused to send naked pictures faced abuse, were broken up with, or dealt with some form of 'consequence' for saying no.

Other women reported being sent unsolicited nude images which would then be used as leverage to request nudes in return.*

My point exactly that the OP may have felt pressure to live up to her fella's requests.

AuntyElle · 30/05/2018 15:52

Take some time out and meditate on this.

Ah, so that’s where the stress-relief comes in?

MargoLovebutter · 30/05/2018 15:52

LOL, this is hilarious. You blocked him because you object to the word minge over pussy - not the fact that he had no idea whose it was that he was looking at?!!!!!

I don't get the intimate bits photos. I've just broken up with a bloke who used to think I'd like to see his erect cock & even video of him wanking. (That's not the reason I finished with him - although it could be!) And every time I'd be slightly repulsed by a photo of his straining, veiny, pasty cock with his hairy balls as background. Just why????????

WhatsGoingOnEh · 30/05/2018 15:52

You should've replied with, "Mum sends her love".

UserV · 30/05/2018 15:53

Eleanor come off it! So anyone who has had a bit of a dysfunctional childhood and has low self esteem, will be more likely to be coerced into sending a pic of their fanny to a man they have known for a few weeks?!

Do me a favour Hmm

Oh and how do you know I have not had the same kind of dysfunctional life, and ALSO have a lack of self confidence? Lots of assumptions from you here!

cjt110 · 30/05/2018 15:53

Well if he didn't recognise it I'm sure strangers on the street won't so she's probably free to still pop into Tescos and that. Unless he works in Tescos....

hellsbellsmelons · 30/05/2018 15:54

I don't think anyone is taunting you.
This sending pics stuff, is something they are teaching 11/12 YO at school.
You just don't do it in this day and age.
Not in such a short relationship.
I think we are all just looking out for you to ensure you don't do it again.

EleanorHooverbelt · 30/05/2018 15:55

@UserV

No assumptions about you whatsoever. I was talking about myself - I thought that was clear? I know that if I had the self-confidence I got later on that I should have had to begin with, a lot of things I've done could have been avoided.

OliviaStabler · 30/05/2018 15:56

You should've replied with, "Mum sends her love".

This comment has made my day Grin