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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

AIBU - Sent a personal pic

255 replies

ThirdTimeUnlucky · 30/05/2018 14:25

So, I've been dating a guy for 3 mths. We send personal pics to each other - no big deal. He requested one recently a bit more personal so I decided to send one today as he was stressed at work.
His response was along the lines of who's m*nge is that?
I replied 'just delete it' and then blocked him on WA.
He's now saying (via text msgs) I'm being unreasonable, he apologised for using the wrong terminology, said it took him by surprise (obviously not in a nice way). His last msg was 'I can't win'.
I was going to unblock him but he's just dug a bigger hole for himself.
Am I being unreasonable? He asked for the pic not so long ago. I even edited it with a X (kiss). I feel insulted that he didn't know it was mine! Shock. Lol.

OP posts:
Lovesabadboy · 30/05/2018 18:32

Whatever happened to a nice mix tape?

I literally snorted when I read that!!

ShatnersBassoon · 30/05/2018 18:38

It was probably his knee-jerk reaction to unexpected, public, high arousal. Or horror. Either arousal or horror would make someone say minge for the first time.

Moneyissue2 · 30/05/2018 18:53

I feel sorry for you op, I hope you’re ok. Some posts have quite a horrible tone to them.

I would be bit upset I’m your position too. I’d expect compliments if I had sent a picture like that and would be hurt and embarrassed if I didn’t get them!!

I think blocking was a bit extreme, especially if everything else is going well. As for the word used, had you specifically asked him not to use it or do you think you’re more upset that he didn’t know it was your own and no gushing compliments?

As an aside, a man I used to work with used to show the entire office naughty pics of his wife. When he showed me a short video clip of him having anal sex with her I nearly threw up my Mexican chicken baguette and politely told him that I really wasn’t interested and that he should be ashamed. He really wasn’t though.

daftyburd · 30/05/2018 19:00

I occasionally send DP pics from an Instagram account That Looks Like a Snatch. I could imagine if I sent an actual fanny pic he would ask who it belongs too. Suspicious that it was the chest folds of a Sphinx cat or cut piece of fruit.
OP I’m not here to judge. If adults want to send pics it’s fine. Seems a fairly harmless way to get thrills . Just talk to him. I think the insensitive response was due to him not expecting it. I don’t send nudes but we do send sexy messages. I would never send while he was at work as I don’t know if he’s in a meeting etc

ThirdTimeUnlucky · 30/05/2018 19:52

Well, we are speaking again and all is ok.
My Dad died recently, not had funeral yet, so suppose I was a bit sensitive, don't know. I personally don't understand the fascination for pics of my bits but he did ask!

OP posts:
polsha · 30/05/2018 19:55

3 months in and blocking him doesn't bode well for your future together. What was wrong with simply talking about it? I don't know about him but if that happened to me with a new partner I would be hesitant to get in any deeper.

MargoLovebutter · 30/05/2018 19:56

Sorry about your Dad. You don’t have to say yes to the pics though - just because you’re asked. Sounds like you need your bf to give you some tlc right now - not the other way around.

KilledByHerOwnCardigan · 30/05/2018 21:25

YABU. He said nothing insulting, he just worded it wrong, probably because he was surprised you sent it.

QueenDoris · 30/05/2018 21:52

So was it a legs akimbo full burger shot, or coy playboy style?

dinosaurkisses · 30/05/2018 22:05

“full burger shot”

snorts

😂😂😂😂

midnightmisssuki · 30/05/2018 22:30

OP - Yes YABU re your reaction. You sent him a picture of your privates when he was stressed at work? Imagine if he was in a meeting - that would shock anyone. He asked you for the picture a week ago - you didnt send one and chose to send one late - he wasn't expecting it. You are over-reacting. If you like him and there is milage in the relationship - unblock him and give him a chance, though i suspect - this will play on your mind and will be the catalyst of the downfall of the relationship. Good luck.

ittakestwo · 30/05/2018 22:32

Sorry to hear about your dad you have my deepest sympathy. But just because someone asks for something, doesn’t mean you have to oblige. If you are happy and comfortable sending these pictures then that’s your choice.

feelingfree17 · 30/05/2018 22:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SingleDingle · 30/05/2018 23:02

I cannot help but wonder Hmm

Haffiana · 30/05/2018 23:03

Either arousal or horror would make someone say minge for the first time.

I am actually crying with laughter....

BusterGonad · 31/05/2018 10:57

Fair you always make me laugh with your "How different, how very different, from the home life of our own dear Queen!"** 😂

AndTheBandPlayedOn · 31/05/2018 14:07

Third, it is ok to say ‘no’ in a relationship, even at three months.

Sometimes blokes ask stuff “as a joke” or perhaps even as a test...fully expecting to hear a “no”. Having waited a few days, he may have forgotten about it? Then, imho, he may have been shocked/surprised when in suddenly arrived.

It’s good you have worked it out.
Sorry about your loss of your dad. Flowers

Wellfuckmeinbothears · 31/05/2018 20:49

I just...what? I’ve obviously lead a sheltered life. What state was the fanjo in, in knickers, closed or were you spread eagled in order to show case the goods? I read this out to my dh and he kindly pointed out I have a characteristic mole so he’d recognise mine! I can understand why you’re upset, he’s your boyfriend and he didn’t compliment the photo but in all fairness it was a bit...out of the blue...you say he asked for a saucy photo a week ago and I imagine (I could be wrong of course) he had a pic of boobs or bum in mind...not your mini. So a random photo of your fanjo may have taken him by surprise.

I’m sorry to hear about your dad, I really am. But I think if you learn to laugh at yourself it might be easier to just shake it off when your bf doesn’t react nicely to a random photo of your pussy.

sugarnotsweetener · 31/05/2018 23:48

The word minge reminds me of the word minging so I can understand why you wouldn’t want your lady bits referred to as this if he normally uses a different word. Sorry to hear about your father it probably did make you react in a way you wouldn’t normally react but also your bf might think you weren’t up for sexting given your circumstance so maybe sent the whose that reply to see if you were just having a joke and sending a joke pic of something. Could be completely wrong there obviously.

stevesmithsmum · 01/06/2018 05:57

I do find it amusing that most of you would consider yourselves feminists and would staunchly opose bullying of any kind. Just consider your behaviour to the OP in that context. The moral outrage here is quite revealing. Just for sending an intamate personal pic - like, so bloody what?

Just as well the puritanical brigade are happy in the collective sistahood.

As for you OP, I’m a pussy man vice minge.

Nakedavenger74 · 01/06/2018 06:22

Sends picture of minge
Gets offended about use of word minge.

fluffyrobin · 01/06/2018 06:51

Perhaps superimpose your m...on top of your face so he recognises it next time?

Zoflorabore · 01/06/2018 07:30

Wondering if you had groomed your bits before sending said pic?
Let's face it, there're not the nicest looking things are they?

If it was looking a bit dishevelled then he may not have recognised it.

If he sends you a pic I would reply with the same response.

Once you've seen one sausage they mostly look the sameGrin

Do your collar and cuffs match?
If there's no reason why he made the comment then he's just being an idiot op.

EleanorHooverbelt · 01/06/2018 09:41

vice minge

You're likely to get caught in that one Smile

SparklyMagpie · 01/06/2018 13:34

I'd take that picture and put it in a frame for his bedside table, so he'll never make the mistake of not recognising it again

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