Is any one dating a dwarf?

[Moolimoo]

Ok, here’s my dilemma, I am widowed and I have 4 kids. I recently started dating a colleague, everything is great, when we are alone everything is perfect. The thing is he’s a dwarf. He’s 4’6” and I’m a foot taller. Wherever we go people stare and it makes me really uncomfortable. Will I be able to get over this? Has anyone else had a similar experience?

My husband and I were separated before he died. It’s a complicated situation but we had been seeing each other before my husband passed

I’m not fond of myself. In anyway.

Oh Moo. It is a little early. You've got loads of stuff to sort out in your head. Not saying this guy isn't the right one for you. He might well be. But you need to look after yourself too. (Fellow widow here) xx

@noqont I keep telling my beau that we need to slow down and I have told him on more than one occasion that we have to stop seeing each other but he’s magnetic! I can’t stay away. I know I have a lot to process it was a traumatic death. But it does feel right. Except when other people are staring and shouting abuse at us .....

Wow, your husband died only four months ago, suddenly, traumatically and unexpectedly and you're worried about what strangers will think about the man you're dating.

What do you think about the fact that you are dating. Anybody. Apologies for being so snippy in my earlier posts.

If he really wants you for the right reasons, he'll give you ten minutes to get over what you've just been through SO recently.

He’s said he’ll take things as slowly as I need to. As I said my husband and I had separated and we’d Begun a relationship before he died. Now it feels like it’s the time to make it official but I just wondered if anybody else had had experience of height issues or dating people with disabilities and been able over come the obstacles. I know it’s easy to say ignore the stupid but sometimes it is hard. I just wanted some advice before we make our relationship ‘official’

My exH has a form of dwarfism. He's extremely tall by his dysplasia's standards but is still a bit shorter than me (although he'll deny it to his dying breath) but has very noticeably deformed joints and shortened limbs. He walks with a pronounced limp because of his ankle joints and is in a lot of pain all the time.

We did get glances, which I typically stared down. The few times someone was brazen enough to comment or say something nasty about his appearance I tore them down with words.

He's an ex now because he's an asshole, not because he's got a congenital defect.

I'd say just give the relationship more time. You don't need to make a decision now, you're having a good time, why spoil it?

I'd also say this thread will be quote identifying. I hope there is no chance your man or anyone who knows you both sees it.

Well my late husband had physical disabilities so I guess I do understand how stupid other people can be. People have been rude and would ask what I was doing with him or treat him as though he was stupid. I just ignored people, (we both did) unless they got in our face, then I was rude to them. I'm glad your new man is happy to take things slowly. I've been with my new man for a year and a half now and we've only just decided to 'come out'. It wasn't right for us before until we were sure where we were going.

People are such arseholes. Maybe ask how he deals with stares and comments? He must have had a lifetime of it.

Firstly OP dwarf is not a very nice reference, little person is a better description.

If you are that bothered wig what people think you need to end it before you hurt his feelings, which will happen anyway as he realises how shallow you are.

Little person sounds patronising and far worse than dwarf. Although as I don't live that life I can't claim to know how others would prefer to be addressed. Am sure op must have asked her partner what he prefers to call himself though, seeing as it's a reasonably large part of their lives.

Dwarf and Little Person are fairly interchangeable and are both accepted terms by the community they describe. I know several people with dwarfism and they are not offended by being called a dwarf. They have dwarfism, after all. Little person isn't patronizing at all, the largest organization catering to people with dwarfism is called "Little People of America". My friends and family with dwarfism call themselves "LPs" but don't blink at dwarf.

Now if you call them midgets, they get right pissed off!

Its exactly like an episode of The Golden Girls I watched last week. Rose was dating a colleague with dwarfism and was embarrassed. Anyway he dumped her as he could only marry a Jewish woman.

Guys. This thread has given me some clarity about what’s important. What’s important is being with someone who makes me laugh, who treats me well, who likes my kids, who helps us all grow and recover from some really awful things, who is reliable and truthful and makes me want to be a better person. My boyfriend does all those things, he is more man than most 6ft tall guys I know. We might face a few challenges from the opinions of others but ultimately it’s our life and if we’re happy those opinions do not matter. I’m not shallow whoever said that! Just I’ve never been judged for my choice of partner by strangers before and it is a big thing to start with. I know I can get used and learn to deal with it. Thank you everyone, even those of you who were slightly spiteful.

That's great!

Firstly OP dwarf is not a very nice reference, little person is a better description

No its not.

I would end it.. its not like hell ever grow any taller. You tried, you still feel self consvious. Find someone else.

Is it the father of your children who died 4 months ago?

OP, I recently spent time with a friend and her son who are super obese. They're both about 160kgs. I was with them for a week, a lot longer than the time we normally spend together. It was an eye opener. A horrible eye opener. I could have got into fight every day. I didn't though because my friends were either oblivious to the stares they received or they noticed them and were able to ignore them. It helped me deal with the stares and if I did react it was by giving people a look the left them in no uncertainty that they on the wrong side of a warning.

I had such a great time with my friends but the way people looked at them did hurt me.

@lunar1 yes father of three youngest anyway

@teisanlap this is exactly how I feel. But if he can deal. So can I

He sounds lovely OP, you're very lucky to have such a person in your lives, I wish you a very happy ever after.🌸

❤️ Moo.