Starting over after 25 years

[Lily007]

I never gave a thought to the too precise info I was giving so I’ve had to hide my old thread. Is that the right thing to do?

I don’t know what I was thinking divulging so much personal info 🙈

I’lll continue to post on this new thread, as anyone who’s been contributing already knows the background so there’s no need for the history to be visible in any case.

Thank you to the poster who warned me 🙄

Lily, I've been reading this thread from the start. Just want to add to the voices saying how well you are doing and that you have acted with strength and dignity. It will get easier. My husband left me almost 7 years ago when my daughter was almost 2. At first I just felt total disbelief. Now I love having the house to myself and things are amicable for my daughter. Yes I sometimes still miss how things were, but I am totally self reliant and stronger for it. You will survive this

Hope you enjoyed the game last night, Lily !

Lilyyyyyyyy, only just refound you. Havent read this new thread but will do later tonight. Just wanted to say Hello again, I did wonder how you are often.

Thanks Worzels and flumposie

Yes butterbeans I enjoyed the footie although it was pretty nerve wracking!

Hello again Betty. So glad you’ve found me although I don’t envy you reading the whole thread, but I thank you.

I’m feeling better today although still have the feeling that XH and OW might go on holiday soon but I’ll have to deal with it if it happens 🙈.

Ah, Lilly, Who cares if they go on holiday. They will be back to reality soon enough. Plus to be honest he might be a bit skint...

Curious though he thought he'd be invited to the bbq. That's fairly arrogant behaviour. In fact very arrogant. His knee jerk reaction in then blocking them, just adds to it, quick to anger. I dunno, I wouldn't say he was in a good place. Isolated and angry would maybe describe it...

Hi Bluntness

I hope he is isolated and angry ...... oh and miserable as well!

It’s just a shame there’s no way of letting him know that all his friends and family are laughing at him, now that would piss him off! He’s just a tosser 💩

Losing his friendship circle has to hurt. His reaction says it has. I think you can take that to the bank. He's islolated from his friends and angry about it.

You know I'm always honest, so I wouldn't say he definitely must be miserable, but I would say there are things that must be making him unhappy or pissed off.

Hopefully he's whinging to her about them, and she's getting really sick of it...😁

I can imagine he's doing a fair bit of complaining to her, after all who else can he whine to? I think that now he's a few weeks into this he must be accepting his new reality somewhat. Not that it matters if he is or isn't. He isn't important in this, only Lily is.

Footie was a bit eek. Have you any plans for the game on Saturday Lily?

Yeah I get what you’re saying.

He may not necessarily be miserable but having given up so much has to smart 😬

Hi Agatha. No, haven’t made any plans for the footie on Saturday as yet.

I can’t really imagine him whinging to her about being binned off by everyone, that’d make him look really sad. Although, as I’ve said before, I do wonder what OW thinks about me doing absolutely nothing. It must look, to her, that I’m not bothered in the slightest.

I reckon he's smarting more than Billy Smart's Circus! But he won't admit it and I bet he didn't tell her about being flicked the bird by his old pals on the group chat...the SHAME!! His ego must have taken a bit of a battering.

Yes, let's hope he's too skint to go on holiday. Especially as he's still paying his share of bills and mortgage at yours. I can't imagine a woman like that letting him live totally gratis. He must have to give her something towards his keep.

Hi toots. Hope you’re having a lovely holiday.

Yes, I hope he’s too skint to afford a holiday. I imagine he could afford A holiday but perhaps not the kind we’d planned.

I think it’s clear he’s spat his dummy out in that he blocked them all on IG and left the chat within 20 minutes of getting the ‘🖕’.

I’ve said it from the time I discovered their relationship, she’s probably thought “💰💰💰”. I do wonder whether she even knows he’s still contributing to the running of our house. As I know, he’s a pretty convincing liar!

Thanks lily, for be been enjoying the rest and the sunshine.

The blocking thing is very childish of him and makes him look a bit of a dick, doesn't it?!

Yes, I wonder what he's told her about money and what he's still paying for. I think he'll either be flash harry and making out he's loaded OR giving her the woe is me speech about you being a financial drain on him. Gut feeling it's the former.

A Wayne and Waynetta slob page came up on my Facebook this morning, it made me giggle about what you said about XH and OW, Lily !

Lily, was he always so pigheaded?

The way he left, the reaction to the WA group.

Talk about master of your own misery.

I just can't BELIEVE that he thought he'e be invited to the barbecue! Did he know you were there (presumably there were pictures of you looking ravishing)? Does the man have so little tact and social ability that he actually thinks he'd be welcomed?

The more you talk about him Lily, the more I wonder if he was always a bit of a tit, but you were blinded by love and made up for his social inadquacies without realising it.

A lot of people thought my XH was 'weird', but because I loved him, I just thought he was eccentric and I excused a lot of stuff that I should have said 'OY! No!' to.

Hi all.

Sunflowers. I wouldn’t say he was particularly pig headed but he was always quite impulsive. He’d do something without really thinking it through.

Zaph. No, he wouldn’t have known I was at the BBQ. Nobody posted any photos that I’m aware of.

He’s always been the kind of person who wants to be liked, so the fact he’s been ostracised will be hurting him although I’m sure he wouldn’t admit it.

I’ve not had a very good day today (week actually), I’ve felt especially anxious all day and have really struggled to concentrate in work! That awful feeling when you think something horrible is going to happen 😬

Lily I keep losing your thread, just found it again, so marking spot until I have caught up!

I was right!

They’ve gone on holiday today, he posted a photo on IG of him and her on the plane.

Devastated........again 😭

Why did he even bother posting a picture as there is no one around to like it anymore!?!?

It's a blessing. Why would you want to be stuck away on holiday with that loser?

Also picking up from your other post I doubt she knows he is paying for your house still as she would probably go mad. So you really have to ask how long the whole facade (sorry if I spelt wrong) can be kept up for?!

See it as an opportunity where you don't have to panic about seeing them out and about, worrying what they are doing (as you already know) and give yourself a break. I would even push the boat out and book a couple of treatments to look forward to

Ah Lily sorry you're feeling devastated.

He mustn't think much of OW to take her away on what was your holiday. It sounds like she is getting the leftovers - what is the saying - 'one persons treasure is another persons trash'.

You will get over this and each time you are exposed to his hurtful behaviour you will grow stronger until eventually it will have no effect.
You are well rid of him.

One day it will be him hearing what you are up to and it will stick in his throat but you will be way past caring by then.

Who told you ? Didn't you ask not to be told? Remember nothing has changed in reality. Same today as yesterday. He is just an arsehole abroad, rather than at home. KOKO.

I'm sorry Lily

The man has no shame & he is being boasty on social media because that's all he has left. His friends left him, kids think he's silly, you're not impressed... so he's clinging to the one medium where you can cherry pick what you post to present a false image of himself

Sounds like him all over & don't be fooled. Just because he's not posting up the moments he's irritable, money is tight and they're bickering, doesn't mean they aren't happening too

And from what she sounds like she's probably off eyeing up the local talent... while he waits at home (if she wants to cheat it's her affair but sounds totally likely from what you've said)

Oh lily, I know you were expecting it, but it will still have come as a shock. How unoriginal and thoughtless must he be?! She is just having your leftovers really, isn't she. Remember you don't want him after he's treated you so dreadfully. Think 'she's welcome to him!'

Look at it this way, if you met this man now would you want to have a relationship with him? Imagine him being on a first date with you and telling you the story of how he treated his ex. Deep down you'd be thinking what a tosser.

I suspect you are grieving for the man you thought he was rather than the man he actually is.

His life is going down the toilet and he's too dumb to realise it.