Starting over after 25 years

[Lily007]

I never gave a thought to the too precise info I was giving so I’ve had to hide my old thread. Is that the right thing to do?

I don’t know what I was thinking divulging so much personal info 🙈

I’lll continue to post on this new thread, as anyone who’s been contributing already knows the background so there’s no need for the history to be visible in any case.

Thank you to the poster who warned me 🙄

Yes, I doubt they are going to get many admiring glances round the pool. Try not to think of it, Lily. I know it's hard not to dwell on what he's doing now, but going mentally NC can work. I remember the actual physical jolt I got when I found out my XH had gone to South America, Part of me was so glad I didn't have to fear walking into him when I was out shopping, the other part was wailing 'but that should have been meeeeeeee!'

The feeling does pass. He hardly ever crosses my mind these days. So it can happen. You just have to throw yourself into day to day life. Sorry about work though, that sounds like a stressor you don't need!

Lily Been lurking. Thinking of you, and hoping you have a better day. KOKO!

Loving toots version of their maybe holiday.

Hope you're having a better day Lily. Please keep posting whatever you want. Unfortunately there have been unkind people here lately, but just ignore and keep on getting the support you have been doing.

Hi thanks everyone.

Toots. Won’t get a huge redundancy payout, if that happens, only been there a few years. I’m not worrying about it though, I’ve got enough on my mind at the moment 🙄.

I’ve got no real reason to think they will go on holiday other than it’s when we were meant to go.

I need to have a word with myself and stop overthinking everything. I know I’m my own worst enemy, if I don’t actually know what’s going on I make assumptions 🙈.

Whenever we were going on holiday he’d always set a ‘countdown to (wherever we were going)’ and he’d send it to me every day and that’s been in my mind all day today 😥

I can’t believe everything has fallen apart in such a short time!

Lily take no notice of the detractors this is your place to let your thoughts out and get support.

Smiling at toots version...... can picture it now ......

I'm dusting off my pom-poms.

Why shouldn't someone have cheerleaders? It's not like we're cheering for a cheat who's contemplating dumping her faithful, innocent husband is it? We're just after cheering up a lady who's marriage has ended suddenly in unpleasant circumstances. And for those of us who've been there, we know how awful it feels and how much you need to feel that people are on your side.

All together now...GIVE ME AN L! GIVE ME AN I!..

Although I fear those high kicks might have done for my gusset.

LOL Zaph I hope you’re wearing your Tena Lady 😂😂😂

I’ve heard today that XH found out about the BBQ I went to last Thursday and messaged one of the lads “thanks for the invite”, the reply he received was the middle finger emoji 😬. Over the weekend he’s blocked them ALL on his IG and FB accounts and left the WhatsApp group chat. That’s that then, he’s lost all his friends now!

It’s to be hoped OW is one amazing MF, as she’s all he’s got now 🙈

Giggling...shaking my pom-poms eat your heart out Tony Basil! Zaph careful with those high kicks!

Lily, you're right, you've got enough on your plate without worrying about work. It sounds like you just need to fly under the radar at work and get through each week.

You're bound to miss the nice little things your XH used to do, but eventually you'll have some new little traditions of your own and you won't care so much. Remember he destroyed it all, not you. One day (if he doesn't already), he will realise what a fool tool he's been and you will have moved on and it will be his turn to miss all the nice little things.

A friend of mine in her fifties split up with her husband of 20 years this time last year and she felt she would never move on. She had her first date on Friday and is swooning like a teenager, it's lovely to hear and reminded me that starting again is possible at any age. I look forward to when you're feeling like this lily - however you're feeling now, try to remember that it will happen for you too when the time is right.

Middle finger emoji made me laugh!
Love how he had done such an epic flounce and blocked them all - what did he honestly expect!?

Sorry, strike-through fail!

Muhahahahaha karma

Love the middle finger emoji. Ha!

Aw toots thanks for that 😊.

It’s nice to hear your friend is doing so well. I look forward to the time when I just don’t give a toss about him. I know I’ll get there eventually.

Lily your time will come!

I'm with the rest of you thinking the middle finger emoji is just bloody genius! Imagine his face

Just think what a nightmare your ex will be, moaning and constantly whinging to OW about his ex mates

Just to further encourage you, I live alone (kids all grown up) apart from my dogs and cats and it's bloody lovely. I have a semi-detached BF that I see now and again, but my time is my own and it's brilliant. I sometimes hark back to my XH, and think about the times we had, but I don't really miss him any more - it feels more like it happened to another person.

Can't imagine living with anyone again. I'm the (happier) female equivalent of the bloke in the vest with the Pot Noodle, only mine is smoked salmon, a bottle of Prosecco and a big smile in front of Netflix!

Did he really think he was getting an invite? Talk about losing the plot.

Pom poms up ladies

I think you might be missing a comma there, Sunflowers.

I'm not shoving my pom pom anywhere - I've only just got it clean.

Did he really think he was getting an invite? Talk about losing the plot.
^This
What a warped way of looking at things he must have. Does he think he should be still welcomed into your family circle after how he has treated you?

Oh yes, wasn't suggesting said Pom Pom's get shoved anywhere

Ha ha. I know somewhere I could stick the Pom poms 😂

Yes, I think he has lost the plot. Stupid stupid man.

Actually Zaph. The friend I’m seeing on Friday night says exactly the same. She’s same age as me and split from XH almost 8 years ago. She loves living on her own and pleasing herself.

Come on England 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

Things didn't fall apart as much as he decided to rip them up with his own hands! After so long together the disrespect and lack of courtesy he showed you, the pain he caused etc is breathtaking, and will always be there, alongside the better memories

But the difference is while happiness is out there for you, he will keep seeing the fallout from what he did. Sounds like his kids and his friends have his number. It's sad but he has chosen to isolate himself from everyone and especially at his age and going forward it will only continue to bite him in the arse

I think karma can be a simplistic approach for what goes on but the man will get everything he has done back in consequences

Lily, I have been following your thread and you very kindly sent me a message on my thread in April when exactly the same thing happened to me and my husband left after over 30 years. You were at 7 weeks in and said things would get easier. I am now at a little over that and feel like you did then but I can see how amazingly you have done and are doing - you have come so far! Well done!! I totally agree with other posters that you are the strong one here and will get through this to be in a far better and far happier place.

Posted before but name changed

His life is going down the toilet, yours in going upwards. Know who'd I rather be.

Doesn't matter how many holidays he goes on there will still be trouble in paradise.

I've just read the whole thread - and now I'm shaking my pom poms too. You're doing amazingly Lily