Starting over after 25 years

[Lily007]

I never gave a thought to the too precise info I was giving so I’ve had to hide my old thread. Is that the right thing to do?

I don’t know what I was thinking divulging so much personal info 🙈

I’lll continue to post on this new thread, as anyone who’s been contributing already knows the background so there’s no need for the history to be visible in any case.

Thank you to the poster who warned me 🙄

Good luck, Lily - I'm sure you'll get a handle on today...

I'll get my coat.

Zaph 🤣🤣🤣

So come on then,,did you fix it.?😁

Ha ha Bluntness. No, taken the mechanism out and I’m going to go to the hardware shop tomorrow for a new one

I also need to take the bolt off the back gate (the padlock has seized). I’m going to get a new bolt and padlock and replace them.

Gonna call myself Handy Andy 😂 but if it all goes tits up I’ll have to call the cavalry - my friend’s husband 😜

Least you're giving it a crack. Hats off to you!

My diy skills don't get past a bit of super glue...

If it's stuck and it shouldn't be - WD40
It it's not stuck and it should be - duct tape :-) :-)

I find You Tube handy for this sort of thing (failing that it has to be a job for the sons!)

WD40 - the cure for many a stuck lock or padlock. Worth a go before taking it off?

Thanks everyone. Tried WD40 and other things. The padlock has rusted so the key won’t budge it.

I’m going to have a go at replacing the bolt and padlock and the door mechanism this afternoon.

I’ll let you know if I’m successful or not🤞

New bolt and padlock fitted to back gate.

Removed handles and mechanism from door of under stairs cupboard, new mechanism fitted, replaced handles, working perfectly.

Proper proud of myself 🤗

Well done. I'm really impressed. I'm completely cack at that stuff. 😳

It's an amazing feeling when you do a bit of DIY and it actually works isn't it? Well done you!

I built a kitchen unit on my own which said it needed 2 people to do it - I was nearly in tears of joy when I finished it!

Yey - I am impressed! Well done, Lily.

I am pants at anything practical. Which is why my cupboard is half full of WD-40 and half full of Duct Tape.

Well done, so nice when things go well. I'm pretty good at DIY but still get a buzz when it works out well.

Thanks everyone 😊

I'm no good luck at DIY either - Lily, you're an inspiration!

Wow I have found you I have been searching for the old thread and I'm so glad you hadn't vanished.
I didn't comment on your previous post but I checked in daily and am in awe of your strength and dignity in a horrid situation. you are amazing OP.

Aw mommybear1 thank you so much

I really don’t feel strong this evening but hopefully it’s just a blip and I’ll feel better tomorrow.

Whilst I’m absolutely determined to keep up the NC, some days are harder than others. Much as I try to distract myself I can’t help wondering what he’s up to and if him OW are still loved up!

Better get something on tv to get my mind off them.

Oh I think that is totally normal Lilly. You're doing so well. Every day you seem a little stronger and you're achieving more and more as the days go on. You also know to try to distract yourself when those thoughts come, rather than have a shit evening dwelling on it, where only you suffer.

You're doing brilliantly.💐

Morning.

I feel awful today. I had a really vivid and horrible dream last night about running into him and OW. It was so realistic and it’s made me feel really down in the dumps.

I’ve got to log on to my work now for a few hours so hopefully that’ll distract me and I’ve got to go out this afternoon to run a few errands.

It’s really strange how jittery I can feel after only dreaming about them 😔

Dreams are powerful things. I think most of us can relate to feeling out of sorts for the rest of the day after a bad one. It's your mind sifting through the stuff that's bothering it though, processing it really. So although you feel really bad, remember that it's your mind healing and moving along the track to feeling so much better.

Hope the working from home goes well and gives you some much needed distraction.

Bad dreams can do that, it's weird...don't worry about it, it's normal. Maybe sub consciously you are worried about running into them?

Focusing on work and doing errands is good,,you will find it soon passes.💐

Bluntness. Working from home hasn’t been too bad thanks and it does occupy my mind for the most part.

Agatha. You’re right about dreams being powerful things. I can’t seem to shake off the awful mood I’ve been in all day. I feel really jittery and nervous as though something horrible is going to happen.

I still sometimes dream that I meet up again with my XH. That he wants us to be together again and I start out trying but I just get SO ANGRY at how he left me that I start punching him.

Those are quite positive dreams, but they do leave me feeling sad and downbeat for a while afterwards. And this is SEVEN YEARS later!

They're just my brain trying to tell me that I haven't let go of the anger about the way I was treated, I know that. So I try to just let them go. Your brain is trying to make sense of your situation, try not to worry about the dreams.

FIFTEEN years after divorce I still get the occasional dream about Ex - and bewilderingly in the dreams I am always nice to him and even pleased to see him. IRL nothing could be further from the truth. After one of these dreams, I am out of sorts all day and cross with my wet lettuce dream self for being such a pushover.

Inside my head is obvs very confusing.