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Original poster

How should I deal with his sulking?

466 replies

User010101 · 15/05/2018 21:08

The has happened quite a few times before and normally I confront him or try to coax him out of it. This time I've had enough and can't deal with this childish behaviour any longer.

Today, I messaged him at work and we agreed to meet for lunch. I normally go at 1pm but agreed to wait for him until 1:15pm as he said he was busy. Fair enough, except he didn't contact me until after 1:30pm and when we met up he was grumpy and said that he only had time to grab a sandwich and head straight back to work. I was annoyed and was under the impression that going for lunch meant actually going somewhere to eat together. Still, I said nothing...

When we were in the queue for his sandwich I asked him about dinner tonight (he said 3 days ago he would go grocery shopping, but didn't) and he said he didn't know as was out from 6pm. I said I would be happy enough with an omelette and even though I had plans myself tonight,, saidould pick eggs etc up from the shop. He said he didn't fancy that for dinner and I said that he would need to go to the shop himself as he had originally said he would shop for the both of us on Saturday. This was met with silence and when I asked him if he was now huffing with me he swore at me, said I needed to stop nagging him and stormed off.

I thought that would be the end of it as it really wasn't that big of a deal. However, he has just come home and is still not speaking to me. I am going about my business and am in the living room watching TV. He went out to the shop there and took ages presumably in an attempt to make me think he had left me. He came home with whatever he had bought, made it for himself together with a cup of tea. He then came into the living room, picked up his laptop and took it into the kitchen (he normally goes on it in the living room).

I'm at my wit's end. How on earth do I deal with this? It feels surreal and almost like a joke. How on earth can he be sulking? I did all the housework at on Sunday while he went off for a 5 1/2 hour cycle (which apparently left him too exhausted to move) but now I'm supposed to feel guilty!! Would appreciate any thoughts as very annoyed.

OP posts:
odig · 16/05/2018 17:26

Once he's gone all your friends will tell you they couldn't stand him.

Arrogant twat.

CharlotteCollinsneeLucas · 16/05/2018 17:29

Hopefully, all this weirdness is making it easier for you to consider life away from him... starting this evening!

FrozenMargarita17 · 16/05/2018 17:29

Just get rid of him already Op, I can't believe his immaturity!

BitOutOfPractice · 16/05/2018 17:32

Well I know what I'd mean by "vibing" and it's not something I'd do in front of an aunt Shock

He's worried isn't he? He's worried that you might actually be serious. Well, he's right, you are

sonjadog · 16/05/2018 17:33

Oh please dump him. Do you want this to be your life for years to come? A sulky man who puts his hobbies in front of his child and partner, lazy around the house and impossible to have an adult conversation with? It sounds exhausting just reading about it. Find someone you can have an equal relationship with. Stop turning yourself inside out for this waste of time.

PoshPenny · 16/05/2018 17:47

I had to Google what talk to the hand meant (coz the face ain't listening if anyone else didint know). OMG what a rude rude man child, I'd have his stuff packed and on the doorstep waiting for him when he came home, also the doors double locked so he can't get in. Wow, just wow.

Colbu24 · 16/05/2018 17:52

Sorry to ask but does he take steroids?
I had a friend that used to body-build and was really moody and irritable.
Sounds like he just wants to be left alone and not do much at all.

Ellie56 · 16/05/2018 17:59

All I got back was the following...

Bit dramatic- did you just dump me?

By text?

I would have said Yep. Got it in one. Your bags are outside the door. Have a nice life.

SoleBizzz · 16/05/2018 18:08

Pack his stuff. Dump him.

Singlenotsingle · 16/05/2018 18:14

The problem is it puts you in the position of Mummy Substitute, telling him off when he's naughty. Which is beyond boring.
I think there are men out there with no home of their own, and who are just looking for some woman to move in with, like a big fat cuckoo. Time he moved out and found another sucker!

Maria1982 · 16/05/2018 18:15

Tell him to go, and mean it! No two week notice period (ugh, and he will just try to wear you down).

Your will need to be more definite than in your first text -‘yes I am breaking up with you’, or something that leaves him No wriggle room for interpretation.

Also- talk to the hand? What the fuck? And calling you dramatic? The more I hear the worse he sounds.

PS I do realise it’s easier for us to pile in saying LtB than it is for you to do it...
Take some comfort though from the unanimity in thread responses!

Hissy · 16/05/2018 18:22

Oh get rid of him already!

He’s pathetic!

How dare he insult you! How dare he tell you the personality/looks thing!

He’s actually an insult to your intelligence my dear, he’s an embarrassment

Get shot of him, he’s a crap man, a shit father, and a piss poor human being

TheClitterati · 16/05/2018 18:33

He's a rubbish father and a rubbish boyfriend.

How do you see things improving op!

Original poster
User010101 · 16/05/2018 18:43

I spoke to him there when he came home. Unbelievably still huffing. I said I wouldn't put up with that behaviour from his DD nevermind him and he burst out laughing at me and turned it into a joke. I said about him being unable to compromise regarding his hobby and he said I was inflexible too. I asked what he meant and he said why could I not just go to the shop if I had nothing else on. I told him there was no way I was doing that as he was suppose to have done it several days ago. Just feel like I'm going round in circles.

I said about him moving out and he didn't say anything. Came back 5 minutes later to say bye as he is out running tonight and kissed me and said he did love me. I don't know what to do. I am officially on strike as regards housework though. Not lifting a finger even though I've been off work.

OP posts:
whatwouldkeithRichardsdo2 · 16/05/2018 18:49

Oh my god. He's awful. He told you there and then he doesn't value your time and doesn't want to share the load of living together.

Of course he came in and kissed you then left to go do what he wants. He isn't stupid. He sensed you've had it with him so now he is working his way back in.

Show him you will not accept it. Either stop enabling him or dump him.

MyShinyWhiteTeeth · 16/05/2018 18:50

Please get rid of this immature jerk. He has no respect for you. I can't believe he can think his behaviour is acceptable.

He's not listening to you or hearing what you are saying.

category12 · 16/05/2018 18:51

Well, he's expecting it to blow over and you to go on like before.

What are you expecting?

pictish · 16/05/2018 18:52

“He kissed me and said he did love me.”

Oh swoon! That makes all the drudge work well worth doing. Just get to the supermarket already.

TryingToForgeAnewLife · 16/05/2018 18:53

So basically he doesn't give a shit about what you've said or how you feel and a kiss is all that's needed..... and off he goes to do his hobby......again.

I think that's all you need to know OP. If ge had given up his hobby tonight to discuss your relationship then l would have said to give it a chance. But after this... no way.

My now ex is a runner and cyclist. I was left every weekend with the kids. Don't end up like me.

Hissy · 16/05/2018 18:54

No. He’s an idiot

This relationship is officially dead. No way you can respect this piece of garbage!

welshmist · 16/05/2018 18:56

What an awful Father he is to his DD, so no future for you as a family. Just let him go, in his mind he is long gone anyway. All this time away training or is he? He may have lined up the next victim anyway.

loobylou10 · 16/05/2018 18:58

OP, what are you wanting to happen here? Are you wanting him to sincerely apologise and change his ways because I don’t think that’s going to happen. He is humouring you at the moment until you calm down - then he will carry on as usual.
If you are ok with this, then keep texting back and forth until he wears you down.
If not - you need to get serious and get rid.
You deserve better and you will find better than this idiot.

mummmy2017 · 16/05/2018 19:03

Omg... you mean nothing to him..
Or he would not have gone out.

ThrownMuse · 16/05/2018 19:04

Hold your nerve, OP.

I've RTFT and he's a pretty big waste of space. Shitty to his DD too.

You also seem to be doing a disproportionate amount of housework!

After 9 years on MN you get my very first LTB. Please!

Inertia · 16/05/2018 19:05

Of course he is making it into a joke, and fully expects you to capitulate.

He is showing you, over and over again, that you only have worth to him while you provide a home, food, and housework services.

His daughter provides none of this and encroaches on his training time, so he has outsourced the parenting.

Staying with him would be a lifetime of servitude and being left holding the baby. Don’t you think you deserve better than this?