How should I deal with his sulking?

[User010101]

The has happened quite a few times before and normally I confront him or try to coax him out of it. This time I've had enough and can't deal with this childish behaviour any longer.

Today, I messaged him at work and we agreed to meet for lunch. I normally go at 1pm but agreed to wait for him until 1:15pm as he said he was busy. Fair enough, except he didn't contact me until after 1:30pm and when we met up he was grumpy and said that he only had time to grab a sandwich and head straight back to work. I was annoyed and was under the impression that going for lunch meant actually going somewhere to eat together. Still, I said nothing...

When we were in the queue for his sandwich I asked him about dinner tonight (he said 3 days ago he would go grocery shopping, but didn't) and he said he didn't know as was out from 6pm. I said I would be happy enough with an omelette and even though I had plans myself tonight,, saidould pick eggs etc up from the shop. He said he didn't fancy that for dinner and I said that he would need to go to the shop himself as he had originally said he would shop for the both of us on Saturday. This was met with silence and when I asked him if he was now huffing with me he swore at me, said I needed to stop nagging him and stormed off.

I thought that would be the end of it as it really wasn't that big of a deal. However, he has just come home and is still not speaking to me. I am going about my business and am in the living room watching TV. He went out to the shop there and took ages presumably in an attempt to make me think he had left me. He came home with whatever he had bought, made it for himself together with a cup of tea. He then came into the living room, picked up his laptop and took it into the kitchen (he normally goes on it in the living room).

I'm at my wit's end. How on earth do I deal with this? It feels surreal and almost like a joke. How on earth can he be sulking? I did all the housework at on Sunday while he went off for a 5 1/2 hour cycle (which apparently left him too exhausted to move) but now I'm supposed to feel guilty!! Would appreciate any thoughts as very annoyed.

Proud of you! Stay strong! X

You can have my first LTB. Honestly, this is never going anywhere. Do you know why his previous relationship ended?

well done. sulking is horrible.

All I got back was the following...

Bit dramatic- did you just dump me?

By text?

Just reply:

Yes. Happy to do it face to face this evening, then you will need to stay at your Mum's.

Well done. Also very good concise response.

That text is him trying to make you back down - he wants you to say something lame like "Of course I'm not dumping you but things really have to change". Both of you knowing full well they won't.

I suggest something like:

"I understand that text isn't the best way to do this, but I think we both know our relationship has reached the end of the road. When you come home tonight we can discuss dividing our stuff and how long it will take you to find somewhere else to live."

Don't engage in last-wording or saying things like "I can't take your sulking, if you had been nicer to me this wouldn't have happened, this is all the result of your actions" etc. He wants you to get drawn into a game of whose-fault-is-this so he can convince you it's at least partly your fault, you're not perfect either, etc. and talk you round into "both" trying to be better going forward and giving the relationship another chance.

Of course, there is always the possibility that he's engaging in constructive dismissal - being so unbearable that he forces you to dump him, so he doesn't have to do the hard work/feel like the bad guy/deal with your feelings. Either way, I think you should send the text.

Oh sorry I misread. I thought @greenfingerswouldbehandy was you. That is what I would respond. To the point. No point getting drawn into a lengthy text conversation. He can talk to you later.

Don’t offer a discussion on how long it will take him to find somewhere else. Just text back ‘yes. I know it’s not ideal but you’ve known how unhappy you’ve been making me and you’ve chosen to continue, and you refuse to talk to me about it. Come at x time to get a bag to take to your mum’s and leave your key, then you can access the house to get the rest of your stuff by prior arrangement when you find your own place’

Well, when you refuse to communicate with someone like and adult, resort to names calling or stomping off then yes. Then yes... the other person texts.

He should have been dumped for the insults alone, never mind the laziness, the selfishness, the sulking, being a crap dad and just being a total pain in the arse generally.

The best reply is " yes".

Ignore the dramatic jibe. Go with GreenFingers' response.

If he isn't speaking to you, how else are you expected to communicate?

He has just sent me a (what I can only presume is supposed to be funny) photograph of his hand that he drew eyes on and when I asked 'what is that?' he said it was 'talk to the hand'. What just happened?

I don't even know what to reply. I'm 36 and he's 35. I didn't think we were children!!

He doesn't sound surprised or upset. I am now wondering if he has been, as someone said above, just being an arsehole waiting for you to do the hardwork for him (splitting up).
Oh, well, at least being an arsehole about it makes your life a bit easier. It's harder when they suddenly become at least somewhat normal and reasonable.

He can't even communicate via text, ffs.

I would just ask if he wants his bags waiting for him or would like to pack them himself. I wouldn't be surprised if he would prefer to have them waiting, so that he doesn't have to speak to you at all. Because talking is too hard. Apparently.

It meant he agrees it's over.
He really is childish...
Text him back... agreed.
Please return my keys and collect your carp.

Is is not taking you seriously and laughing at you.

Pack up his stuff in bin bags. Take a picture of it and telling they will be outside your house at 6 o’clock for him to pick up.

Did you confirm it was over after he sent the dramatic... dumping text?

Blimey. Surely that twatty text picture puts the lid on it? You can't possibly want to be with him after that

i don't think he really believes you've just dumped him. he thinks you'll back down and apologise.

A simple ‘yes, you’ve just been dumped via text. If you want to behave like a child sulking when you don’t get your own way, then I feel no guilt about dumping you via text like a teenager. You have 2 weeks to move out.

Them ignore anything else and don’t engage

He's still using his 'spoiled child' tactics.
Good grief.
I don't even think my 20 YO DD would do something like that.
I've no idea what you reply to something like that.
I'm sure another MN will be along with a fab response.

Well, I'd text a photo of my two finger salute, but I can be totally immature too

Seriously, he's now showing you utter contempt and doesn't think you mean what you say. DO you mean what you say? Or are you hoping for a full apology and for him to immediately mend his ways?