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Original poster

How should I deal with his sulking?

466 replies

User010101 · 15/05/2018 21:08

The has happened quite a few times before and normally I confront him or try to coax him out of it. This time I've had enough and can't deal with this childish behaviour any longer.

Today, I messaged him at work and we agreed to meet for lunch. I normally go at 1pm but agreed to wait for him until 1:15pm as he said he was busy. Fair enough, except he didn't contact me until after 1:30pm and when we met up he was grumpy and said that he only had time to grab a sandwich and head straight back to work. I was annoyed and was under the impression that going for lunch meant actually going somewhere to eat together. Still, I said nothing...

When we were in the queue for his sandwich I asked him about dinner tonight (he said 3 days ago he would go grocery shopping, but didn't) and he said he didn't know as was out from 6pm. I said I would be happy enough with an omelette and even though I had plans myself tonight,, saidould pick eggs etc up from the shop. He said he didn't fancy that for dinner and I said that he would need to go to the shop himself as he had originally said he would shop for the both of us on Saturday. This was met with silence and when I asked him if he was now huffing with me he swore at me, said I needed to stop nagging him and stormed off.

I thought that would be the end of it as it really wasn't that big of a deal. However, he has just come home and is still not speaking to me. I am going about my business and am in the living room watching TV. He went out to the shop there and took ages presumably in an attempt to make me think he had left me. He came home with whatever he had bought, made it for himself together with a cup of tea. He then came into the living room, picked up his laptop and took it into the kitchen (he normally goes on it in the living room).

I'm at my wit's end. How on earth do I deal with this? It feels surreal and almost like a joke. How on earth can he be sulking? I did all the housework at on Sunday while he went off for a 5 1/2 hour cycle (which apparently left him too exhausted to move) but now I'm supposed to feel guilty!! Would appreciate any thoughts as very annoyed.

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 17/05/2018 14:16

Completely your choice but don't bother coming back on here
RUBBISH OP.
You come back as often as you like.
It takes 'victims' around 7+ attempts to leave an abuser.
We will all still be here if you need us.

But... Trying is absolutely right.
It will be the same advice.

We can all see what a twat he is.
You are starting to as well.

But you are still using very passive language and not really meaning what you are writing.

I think I'm ready....
This means you aren't really.
You are still hoping for that miracle.
Where he sees the light and all is as you wanted it.
Not going to happen.
Why on earth would it?
He never has any consequences for his actions as you let him walk all over you.
Your words should be, 'I am sooooooo fucking ready to end this...'
etc....
You'll get there.

BitOutOfPractice · 17/05/2018 14:17

In fact skipping the race is a great idea. Use the time when he's out to pack his shit up and put it in the shed / garage / somewhere so he has no option but to know you are serious

PsychedelicSheep · 17/05/2018 14:17

He won’t take you seriously if you text again, he’ll think you’ll just forget about it after he makes you a cup of tea later on.

When you see him tonight tell him you’re done and he’s to go to his mums tonight.

CharlotteCollinsneeLucas · 17/05/2018 14:19

When you see him tonight tell him you’re done and he’s to go to his mums tonight.

Best idea yet.

Original poster
User010101 · 17/05/2018 14:21

As he can't communicate like an adult I am texting him but only to say to pack his bags and be gone by the weekend.

OP posts:
Cricrichan · 17/05/2018 14:21

I am spitting feathers reading this thread. The man is walking all over you, deliberately making you feel insecure, training you to put up and be quiet and gaslighting you.

If I were you I would ignore him until Saturday then when he goes on Saturday, pack his bags , change the locks and block him. Do not speak to him ever again. You're not going to convince him of anything and he won't change. He can't be arsed changing anything for his own child and uses all the females in his life as his own personal slaves.

You're still young and you'll be better offered to enjoy life and if you share your life with someone else, do it because they love and appreciate and value you.

Cricrichan · 17/05/2018 14:22

Well done op. Don't engage in conversations with him.

odig · 17/05/2018 14:24

Well I can see what he's doing even if you can't OP.

He wants to get out of taking you to the bike ride, and he's leading up to a sulk by causing an argument.

WeareStardustWeareGolden · 17/05/2018 14:25

Tell him to FO

chemicalworld · 17/05/2018 14:25

He isn't taking you seriously at all is he? This is the problem.

FrozenMargarita17 · 17/05/2018 14:29

Yes OP! Get rid !

SeaEagleFeather · 17/05/2018 14:30

As he can't communicate like an adult I am texting him but only to say to pack his bags and be gone by the weekend.

hold to this, 010101.

again, you are worth SO MUCH more than this treatment.

tangoed2 · 17/05/2018 14:35

Go through with it OP, take it from someone who had a baby with someone who then started acting like this, it's massively draining and does not get better!

BewareOfDragons · 17/05/2018 14:42

Get the locks changed Saturday morning after he leaves. Pack his bags, text him you're putting them outside at X time on Sunday (text him while he's far away on his bike) so he should come back and collect them and returnto his mother's.

Just do it, FFS!

CharlotteCollinsneeLucas · 17/05/2018 14:43

Great! I think that's a good decision.

It's clear: if he ignores it, you pack up his things for him.

It's quick: no two weeks for him to talk you round.

And there's no wiggle room - no room for discussion or promises to be better, because you've not said why. I mean, it's obvious why, but the text clearly says you're done with talking about it. Brilliant.

Now to stand firm when he gets home. You did it with the Sunday morning babysitting situation. You can do it again.

MyShinyWhiteTeeth · 17/05/2018 14:53

Well done. Star

I think you've given him too many chances. He didn't learn with his ex wife and he hasn't learnt with you.

I think you need to really focus on yourself, pleasing yourself and doing things for yourself only.

Gemini69 · 17/05/2018 14:53

will he though Hmm

TryingToForgeAnewLife · 17/05/2018 15:08

I think he will ignore your text and just carry on living with you. If that is the case what is your plan to get him out?

odig · 17/05/2018 15:22

He'll turn on the charm after the bikeride weekend.

Will you fall for it OP?

Original poster
User010101 · 17/05/2018 15:24

Not sure how to respond to this. I’m a bit busy in work I’ll talk to you later.

His response to what I wrote...

Not sure how to respond to this. I’m a bit busy in work I’ll talk to you later.

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 17/05/2018 15:27

He still doesn't believe you. He still thinks he'll be able to charm / stonewall you into seeing things his way.

One thing is certain he doesn't sound heartbroken does he?

HeedMove · 17/05/2018 15:32

Id be saying theres nothing more to talk about im passed that stage. I have had enough. Either you pack your bags or I will.

chemicalworld · 17/05/2018 15:32

I honestly think he thinks he's on safe ground with you and doesn't realise that you have been serious.

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 17/05/2018 15:35

I'm cheering you on to end this "relationship". He doesn't sound like he even likes you.

hellsbellsmelons · 17/05/2018 15:38

'You respond by packing up your shit and getting the hell out of my life'
Job done! (ish0