"You can't call the police because it would be too much for him?
What about you, what about your children?"
@123kieron
This. The original poster on this thread was initially looking to be told about people's experiences with delusional/morbid jealousy. Initially, she didn't want to be told to involve the police, leave her DH or anything like that. I think she wanted to be told it would all be fine and not to worry. No responsible person was going to tell her that. She ended up fleeing the house with her DC.
I think that's what you're looking for, too. To be reassured that it will all be fine. But no-one can give you that reassurance. While your husband is this ill, no-one can guarantee that he won't do anything awful. In fact, he already is doing awful things.
Your conflicted feelings are completely understandable. This is a man with whom you've lived contentedly for 16 years and whom you love deeply. But still - right now - he is very ill and a danger to you. And you know that. It's already affected your MH so much that you have developed anxiety and are having to take medication. That's what his emotional and psychological violence has already done to you and this situation developed quite recently.
You can't shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen because something seriously bad is already happening and you know it could get worse in really frightening ways.
By simply trying to manage the situation yourself, you're actually not protecting him and you're certainly not protecting yourself or your DCs. You're a mother, not just a wife, and also, of course a person in your own right. You have duties to your DC and yourself which outweigh your duties to him.
This mental illness is almost certainly temporary and can probably be controlled once he gets proper treatment. Can you imagine how much worse it will be for him (nevermind you and your DCs) if he has managed to inflict irrevocable harm while ill? Try to see it as protecting him from himself. That is part of what you will be doing if you talk to the police and seek other professional help.
He doesn't necessarily have to see that police officers have been to your house (you could just speak to them on the phone or go to the police station) but it might be no bad thing if he does. You cannot placate him and you cannot reason with him. There may be some useful shock value in sending the message to him that, although you love him very much, his behaviour has become so scary that you feel you have to involve the police.
Please stop trying to protect him and to manage the situation on your own. It's not possible and in the end it doesn't help him and, more importantly, it doesn't help your DCs or you.