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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Morbid/Delusional Jealousy - Any sufferers out there

197 replies

Sshhbear · 10/05/2018 02:47

I am keen to hear from anyone who suffers from morbid jealousy. My partner of 16 years seem to have developed it over the last year and I am desperately researching information on the subject in an attempt to get him to realise that he has a problem. At this stage he's in complete denial that there is anything wrong with him and believes it's up to me to prove him wrong and earn his trust back.
I'm particularly interested in hearing from sufferers as I would like to be able to read some stories from others to help him realise that he needs help.
His main symptoms are:

  • Believing whole heartedly that I have had and may still be having an affair. He knows I'm a bit of a prude and he knows I have never cheated in the past with him or anyone else.
  • Controlling my activities - at the moment he has asked me to go two months without leaving the house unattended (by him and/or the kids). Previously this was 'until we get married'. He believes this is the answer to making sure I'm not up to anything.
  • Thinking irrational things - he thinks I'm getting up in the middle of the night while he's sleeping and having sex with another man on our front deck. Important to note he's a light sleeper, I'm a heavy sleeper and our deck is not at all private from the street.
  • Threatening me (aggressively saying "look out if I ever find out I am right") - he is not violent and has never layed a hand on me
  • Walking around swinging a baseball bat for exercise - most of the time to help him get his strength back post shoulder reconstruction but other times, when he's feeling frustrated. He never threatens me with the bat but it is still intimidating.
  • Blaming me for his feelings. He doesn't believe his gut feelings could possibly be wrong. Says he's not stupid and for him to feel this means that I am to blame because it is my actions that have caused it.
  • He is toying with the idea that maybe I'm schitzophrenic and that's why I keep lying to him about my perceived infidelity.

I am 47 and also going through early menopause symptoms. I am nervous and jumpy and while I know anxiety can happen with menopause, I think it's because I'm worn out and emotionally spent after 11 months of accusations. Unfortunately, he sees my anxiety as caused by the emotional stress I am under managing two relationships (the second one being the one that doesn't exist).

I took him to his dr and she referred us to their psychologist. This didn't go well. He walked out after half an hour alone with her saying she couldn't help. He says this is because I had already spoken to her first and she wouldn't give an opinion on who was right.

I posted back in November 17 asking for advice on this same subject as I was getting married in March 18 to my man. 16 years is a long time and I love my other half dearly so despite some people suggesting I didn't go through with the wedding, I did anyway. Don't judge me on this please.

OP posts:
Dery · 07/07/2020 09:45

"You can't call the police because it would be too much for him?
What about you, what about your children?"

@123kieron

This. The original poster on this thread was initially looking to be told about people's experiences with delusional/morbid jealousy. Initially, she didn't want to be told to involve the police, leave her DH or anything like that. I think she wanted to be told it would all be fine and not to worry. No responsible person was going to tell her that. She ended up fleeing the house with her DC.

I think that's what you're looking for, too. To be reassured that it will all be fine. But no-one can give you that reassurance. While your husband is this ill, no-one can guarantee that he won't do anything awful. In fact, he already is doing awful things.

Your conflicted feelings are completely understandable. This is a man with whom you've lived contentedly for 16 years and whom you love deeply. But still - right now - he is very ill and a danger to you. And you know that. It's already affected your MH so much that you have developed anxiety and are having to take medication. That's what his emotional and psychological violence has already done to you and this situation developed quite recently.

You can't shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen because something seriously bad is already happening and you know it could get worse in really frightening ways.

By simply trying to manage the situation yourself, you're actually not protecting him and you're certainly not protecting yourself or your DCs. You're a mother, not just a wife, and also, of course a person in your own right. You have duties to your DC and yourself which outweigh your duties to him.

This mental illness is almost certainly temporary and can probably be controlled once he gets proper treatment. Can you imagine how much worse it will be for him (nevermind you and your DCs) if he has managed to inflict irrevocable harm while ill? Try to see it as protecting him from himself. That is part of what you will be doing if you talk to the police and seek other professional help.

He doesn't necessarily have to see that police officers have been to your house (you could just speak to them on the phone or go to the police station) but it might be no bad thing if he does. You cannot placate him and you cannot reason with him. There may be some useful shock value in sending the message to him that, although you love him very much, his behaviour has become so scary that you feel you have to involve the police.

Please stop trying to protect him and to manage the situation on your own. It's not possible and in the end it doesn't help him and, more importantly, it doesn't help your DCs or you.

123kieron · 07/07/2020 11:36

I appreciate that I have made family and friends aware and I've got a great support network from them. I think until you have actually gone through this it's pretty impossible to understand.
I've told him he's freaking me out and I've told him to stay away and I feel it's best he gets some space away from us I have also told him that IL take this further if it carries on.
He hasn't been back for the last 2 nights now but if he does I will phone my mum that lives a few doors down and will be straight over and then I will call the police. I know above all else my kid's come first and thier safety so I'm taking this all very seriously. I've joined support a support network with over people living this hell I've come to realise there's definitely no good way this will turn out so I'm going through every emotion possible and I'm a mess myself I have a overwhelming feeling of wanting to help him but have definitely come to the conclusion I can't do that so I'm dealing with what actually feels like a loss of someone you love deeply because the man I knew has gone.
I'm aware of what this is doing to my kid's and that's making me like a shitty parent because they have seen and heard to much and they have never seen us go through this thing either and they feel confused and hurt they know he's not well but don't understand how really. I'm still trying to hold down my job and Carrie on like normal I have 2 but starting to realise I need to give one up so he don't have the kid's alone my head is a mind field right now but I know I gotta step up and be there and be strong for the kid's above everything else. I know that's the only thing that I need to concentrate on now.

Dery · 07/07/2020 12:19

@123kieron

That's great. I had the impression you were trying to handle this all alone. It's great that you have all that support in place and that you're drawing such firm boundaries with your H and will involve the police if need be. You're anything but a shitty parent - this isn't your fault! Your H is ill and sadly his illness is making him behave very strangely and potentially dangerously. That's not your fault at all. It sounds like you're doing an amazing job holding it together. It must be incredibly hard having to regard your H as a threat and grieve the loss of him and the relationship you had. All being well, he will get to a place where he gets treatment and gets the illness under control and you are able to feel safe around him again.

Skyla2005 · 07/07/2020 12:21

The only advice I think anyone ca. Give it to leave as soon as you can. This is not normal it sounds dangerous and thoroughly miserable for you. Please call on family and friends to help you get away from him

SoulofanAggron · 07/07/2020 12:26

Glad if you are out. Please don't let him reel you back in. xxx

Bunnymumy · 07/07/2020 12:51

He doesn't have a paranoid delusion problem he has a controlling, abusive bastard problem.

Why would it be your job to 'fix' or 'manage' or cope with such a thing anyway? You aren't a mental health professional.

And you have kids! It IS your job to protect them.

He is NOT a good father. He makes your children's mum walk on eggshells and teaches them it is ok to treat others this way. You teach them that it ok to stay and tolerate this bullshit.

You should consider that you have codependency issues and see a therapist to discuss this going forwards.

In the mean time, stop being a martyr at the expense of your and your children's safety and htf outa there. Fast.

JovialNickname · 07/07/2020 13:37

Have you ever read "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker? (I think?!) It's been a while since I read it, but there's a part I always remember about a woman calling 999 because of her violent husband, and the operator asks if she's in immediate danger. The woman says no, he has got his gun but I'm in the living room and he's in the hall. The point being that she's so accustomed to the constant fear and horror of living with this man that him threatening her with the gun that he's holding feels like no threat because he's not in the same room. Her fear levels are always so through the roof that her "being threatened" threshold is sky high. The same is happening to you. You say if you were in immediate danger you would leave. You are in immediate danger. Leave.

123kieron · 07/07/2020 15:10

I'm no longer living with him I've ordered a door bolt so he can't let himself in again once it turns up it will be going up until then I just won't sleep I've had the fall out this morning from speaking to his mum yesterday he went mental down the phone. I've said he needs to stay the fuck away from us all I'm going to phone woman's aid I think and ask what help I can get and what safety net they can give me

rvby · 07/07/2020 15:35

@123kieron I'm so sorry you're going through this. Can you explain why you won't tell the police? Honest question, just want to understand.

He will definitely end up murdering you, the children, or all of you. I'm struggling, while I read your posts, to properly understand why you won't take whatever action you can to avoid that. I mean that with absolute love, not trying to be nasty at all, it's just so hard to read your posts and see what dreadful danger you're in.

Dery · 07/07/2020 22:35

@123kieron - sorry to hear that he's had a go at you for talking to his mother. He clearly is beyond being reached at the moment which is terribly strange, sad and frightening for you.

You might want to think about a non-molestation order which will require your H to keep away and he will be liable to arrest if he breaches it.

You mentioned that he is staying at a friend's house. How is he behaving with the friend? Hopefully the situation is stable with the friend.

Karie23 · 09/04/2021 08:54

Omg!!!! Leave run as fast as you can. My husband who is in jail now... Omg!!!!! Had torchered me for three years choking me forcing me to say I cheated when I didn't. Said I was having sex with people in the back yard. We lived with his parents and our kids. Id have to baracade my self in a room at night because he would legit attach me in my sleep. He put cigarettes out on my face... All because he was pissed about me cheating and I wasn't.. it is dangerous and it will escaltw you are the only other person I have ever seen go through it but it's honestly terrifying and like something out of a phycological thriller movie.

Finisher64 · 14/04/2021 14:03

Hi I wanted to post to you because I have experienced the same type of abuse from my partner who I have been involved with for 2 years. It started out amazing everything I could have imagined. We had extreme chemistry and loved being with each other. He preferred that we spent our time alone and was very adamant about keeping family and friends out of our business.
It started a year and a half ago, accusations of my cheating extreme accusations. He said I date raped him in order to have sex with my sons friends in my car. I would shovel my deck in order to get rid of foot prints in the snow, snuck men in my back door, talked to his co workers in order to get information on him in exchange for sex....the list goes on and on.
I have never and would never do such things. I was devastated when all of this started and didn't understand. I thought he had organic matter on his brain and was extremely concerned. Wanted to start couple counselling but he refused. We continued for a year and a half, his conspiracy theories never went away and when he communicated them to me he would verbally abuse me. I was never allowed to know when and where he was working because I was planning to see other men. It became everything about our relationship, he changed our relationship to friendship because he could never be with a woman filled with lies and deception and infidelity. I put up with it for 14 months trying to make him come to his senses and understand that his thoughts were delusions. It didn't help. It has ruined my life and my heart and soul are damaged. I have finally ended this dangerous game but am left feeling with intense sorrow. I really loved him but he is a sick man who hurts me I have no choice, even though I thought we would last forever.

Mittens030869 · 14/04/2021 14:27

Your description of him reminds me of my F, who was paranoid about my DM cheating on him. Similarly, it was ludicrous; he once mentioned his suspicions to me and it was completely delusional. She always put it down to either his Parkinson’s Disease or the medication. (Although the delusions remained the same regardless of the level of medication.)

What she didn’t know was that he’d been sexually abusing my DSis and me right through our childhoods.

My DM thought he was a ‘wonderful father’ as well btw. I’m not at all suggesting that your partner is abusing your DC like that, but please realise that he isn’t a ‘wonderful father’ when he’s keeping their mother a prisoner in her own home.

My DM never broke free, but thankfully my F died 23 years ago. She now knows what he did to us and it was heartbreaking for her. However, her own life has completely transformed; she completed a PhD in her 70s and has been spending 2-3 months every year in West Africa working on the charity literacy project she set up. She’s 81 now and this is the first year she hasn’t done that (because of Covid).

Please don’t waste all those years she did on a man who is abusive towards you. Yes, he sounds mentally unwell. My F was ill, too, which was why my DM made excuses for him (and still does where his treatment of her is concerned).

I am concerned about your safety, so please contact Women’s Aid and get advice about getting away from him safely. Flowers

Mittens030869 · 14/04/2021 14:46

I’ve seen now that the OP did get out of that relationship. Hopefully she stayed out and has stayed safe.

Dontcallmewifey · 14/04/2021 14:54

Oh my God, OP not read whole thread just your opening post.

Please don't do what I did and waste your time trying to figure out why he is like that or how you can help. Time after time women make this mistake. It doesn't matter why he is like that, all that matters is the effect on you. His behaviour is abusive. He refuses (like my ex) to accept he has a problem. There is literally nothing you can do to help someone who doesn't think they have a problem. He won't engage with any therapy even if you get him to go there. I did this - got him to go to therapy. He used the therapy to back up his narrative (of course he did, he didn't have a problem). And that made things worse for me. To be blunt, you sound like you could be in danger from him as his behaviour is escalating.

Haffiana · 14/04/2021 17:59

Zombie thread. New posters should start their own thread - you won't get anyone reading past the original 2018 post and answering that.

Finisher64 · 11/05/2021 17:58

Hello out there. I am still trying to heal from this roller coaster ride that I lived through the past 2 years. I feel so sick I just can't stand to live without him. What is wrong with me. I wish I could move on I pray, walk,
talk with friends, read articles on self help and healing, and yet I can't seem to let go. Why am I suffering like this. I see myself as a pretty intelligent woman and have lived through many tragic events in my life but this one will not pass. Any suggestions. I am in therapy but it just doesn't seem to be working fast enough. Will I ever recover help please!

youvegottenminuteslynn · 11/05/2021 18:57

@Finisher64

Hello out there. I am still trying to heal from this roller coaster ride that I lived through the past 2 years. I feel so sick I just can't stand to live without him. What is wrong with me. I wish I could move on I pray, walk, talk with friends, read articles on self help and healing, and yet I can't seem to let go. Why am I suffering like this. I see myself as a pretty intelligent woman and have lived through many tragic events in my life but this one will not pass. Any suggestions. I am in therapy but it just doesn't seem to be working fast enough. Will I ever recover help please!
Are you the Op with a different name, someone going through life with a partner suffering from morbid jealousy or someone suffering from morbid jealousy yourself? Just so people can best respond to you.
Finisher64 · 11/05/2021 19:20

No I am not if you look at the thread I wrote above

youvegottenminuteslynn · 11/05/2021 19:26

@Finisher64

No I am not if you look at the thread I wrote above
Sorry I got mixed up somehow with usernames, my bad and I'm sorry for what you've been through it sounds awful Thanks
RLEOM · 11/05/2021 23:35

He needs meds. My friend's husband went through this and the medication really helped.

Finisher64 · 11/05/2021 23:56

I know that but he will not even acknowledge that he has a problem, its me all me when he goes to work which I am in bed with another man.
I am so sorry that I did not know that he was ill before I got involved and what I am very disturbed about is that I reached out to his son and would not even let me in on any of this. I went on for another year my fault. I just miss him and wish I could have the decent man that he could be sometimes. It's just hard I would rather have physical pain than heartache.

Finisher64 · 11/05/2021 23:58

Sorry what I meant to say was that he which he does so much he works a tremendous amount I am in bed with another man. How can I go and fix my post?

Finisher64 · 12/05/2021 00:07

He accuses me of these things and there is nothing that I can say or do to convince otherwise, I guess I just have to except my fate we will never be able to be together.

Willnotgiveup · 30/03/2022 23:26

We are dealing with the same issue. But the thought got there somehow so it needs to leave the same way. Its from insecurities and doubt so have to find a way to make it leave. We have almost 23 yrs of marriage under our belt so divorce is not an option. It's been about 5 weeks or so and honey those first 4 we're pure torture till I finally said enough and started looking into this shit oh but I had him talk to one therapist said I was manipulating him and cheating so find a divorce lawyer. That made shit a 1000 times worse and fueled his fire but also fueled mine to find a answer. So that's what we together are trying to do.

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