I cheated, what the heck do i do now?

[johnco88]

I have been in a pit or terrible shame, anxiety and depression and of course it is all my fault.

I'm 30 and have a beautiful girlfiend who is 28, we have been together for a year and a half. I am away on business in Canada and went to an all day work party a few days ago. At this party I met someone cool, an English girl who was also here on business. We had been drinking all day and were feeling quite tired. I was staying at the hotel and she wasn't so she suggested we go and chill out/have a nap. That was my honest intention mainly out of lonliness but all of a sudden she was undressed and on top of me. She I asked if I had a condom, I have used the same wash bag for years and knew there might be one in there. There was and we had sex once and it was awful, disgusting, not enjoyable and I completely panicked afterwards and felt sick.

I asked her to leave straight away and lay there shaking all night.

I have always taken a very dim view of cheating and have never done it before. If I saw a post like this in a forum I would just think 'horrible person, you don't deserve my advice' but now I am in this situation.

There is one thing for sure, I will never ever do this again. I've had my ups and downs over 30 years but the last few days have been the worst. I haven't eaten or slept, I can't do anything I just sit about hating myself more and more.

The relationship like many has had its ups and downs. She has been with other people whilst with me but that was much nearer the start. It was going well recently but a major sticking point was that she had put lots of pressure on me to move in with her. I have and I got a bit worried just thinking 'this is the rest of my life now.'

After this incident and learning how much she really does mean to me. I'm sure that she is the one. My immediate instinct is to blab to her straight away and hope she forgives me.

I'm sure I will receive a fair amount of abuse but I'd also love to know if anyone has been in this situation before? How did you deal with it and what would your advice be? Likewise has anoyone been treated like this before?

If you really really really regret what you have done I would zip it, never tell a soul and not tell your girlfriend. If however you enjoyed it and think of doing it again with her or someone else it's time to end the relationship. Like others said maybe you're a bit scared of the commitment of moving in together and the rest of your life!! Panic, what can I do, sleep with the first person who offers. She's cheated on you early on, this isn't one upmanship so good luck with whatever you decide.

If you were really serious about her, I wouldn't say anything. Learn from it, move on and be the best partner you can be. Don't do anything to risk losing her, if she truly means that much to you.

However, if you think you might do it again, then tell her and leave. Don't string her along. That's just cruel.

And also, get yourself checked out.

He didn't know he was doing it once. How would he know if he'll do it again? What with naked women falling on his penis.

MrsTerryPtratchett he corrected me on the fact she did not fall or jump onto his penis!

It was all rather ‘out of sight-out of mind’ imho. You have conducted a LDR and have presumably dealt with loneliness in your present home, so work travel and an ocean suddenly overwhelmed you? Nope, not credible.

All of this verbiage about your gf being the “best” and “being the one” etc etc -that is lip service or else you would not have chatted up the same woman all day long and then had sex too. Ha. The only thing that rings honest is the wee bit that you admitted “this being the rest of your life”. That was your gut feeling that green lighted your escapade.

Actions speak louder than words. A billion words are not going to cover up or erase that action.

You are 30, so don’t act like you don’t know about consequences to your behavior. Do her a favor and break up with her.