Lets have a bit of Summer Lovin' - Dating Thread 133!

[Jaxinthebox]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Good morning gang
Well I had a date last night. Let’s call him Mr Beard...Lots of shall we shall we not beforehand but it was a nice date. Walks through the local park and a drink at the pub.
He was not how I expected and very anxious, he told me that he had stufferd from anxiety since his divorce four years ago, He has a fantastic job and was really sweet and genuine. Physically he is ‘totally’ different, very grey and a beard 😮 makes him look a lot older than 43 . Nice cheeky face and good skin though..
He text and asked to take me for dinner as soon as I got home ... potential perhaps?
I also have two other irons yet to met but both seem nice, the one I fancy the most is in a let’s say ‘tricky’ situation, still living with ex wife and son 🤔
Saying it’s all amicable and until finances and houses are sorted. Not sure I want to get involved in all that.
I am doing my very best to distract from Mr Headfuck 😮

choc great news, I’m still one cheek on the smitten bench. Mr Tinder is in my bed this morning and has just told me he has strong feelings for me, I didn’t know how to respond (I’m still playing it cool) so I didn’t really say anything. Im still struggling with a few similarities to my ex (mainly his looks) and I think this is stopping me from feeling too much for him, he obviously likes me more than I like him (though I do like him).

Lost Mr beard sounds nice, I do like a beard . The one that still lives with his ex? Stay well away, been there and it ended in disaster, tell him to contact you again when he is actually living on his own.

lost Mr Beard sounds very lovely. I love a beard and grey hair.

love that's good that things seem to be working out with Mr Tinder, but you're right to play it cool. I'd be cautious of someone saying that to me too soon.

Thanks so much anitt, your advice makes sense. He does seem to have a hectic life, and he's been single for quite a while, but when we're together he's very tactile and attentive. He talked about the places he'd like to take me and I have no reason to doubt that. I think this one will just be slow to get going. I'm used to people I'm dating being very full on with lots of messaging, which at times I found draining. I will leave it a day or two, in case he suggests it first, then suggest meeting up again.

Yeah I was trying to look at him and see if I was a fan of the Silver fox lmao!
He is nice, nice voice and seems very caring. Great job like I said and lives just up the road 😮 I will go for dinner with him and see how that goes.
One of the other irons is very funny and we have been chatting for a few weeks just haven’t managed to match a time to meet yet. I have to say I don’t do multiple irons well..: its stresses me out! I work shifts so don’t have many evenings and it’s very hard to fit dates in... I want to just date and not go straight into a relationship because that’s what I did with Nr Headfuck and it hurts 😥

Irons...? Is that meant to be ones?

I'm going back to celebate mentality again, I'm useless at attempting to date. I spoke to a friend yesterday and he suggested we see each other but neither of us like each other in that way so it's a complete no-go. We've never even kissed anyway. I think he just feels a bit lonely as he's split from his girlfriend but I am not the temporary answer!

Checking in. Late

Currently seems I have a lot of catching up to do. Which I will as there is absolutely nothing going on in my life

Me too Iron, me too

languid an iron is a potential date - like 'irons in the fire'

mrFrench I am seeing tomorrow. I cant wait, he is far too sexy all round.

choc we need to be cool... its so hard though, but I need to chill out and I feel the same as you. I can see his fb profile - its not private, but mine is. I havent even suggested being fb friends, he doesnt use fb much. Physical chemistry is a bitch and we've not even DTD yet (tomorrow?) and I am in a continual state of lust!

He is super busy at work today so wont hear from him much, although we have chatted this morning. I feel like Ive gone from cool, calm and collected to mushy teen.

Welcome to all new OLD people on the thread.

Sounds promising Lost

Love glad it seems to be going well with Mr. Tinder... you are doing the right thing being careful though.

It is so hard not to act like a mushy teen isnt it Jax I am not sure I was even this bad as a teen! Was all cool and collected then.

I am moving from hovering around the smitten bench (which I have been doing for months) to being firmly placed there. I am fully aware that things can change quickly though but not going to over think it too much.

I was doing fairly well until yesterday. I'm keeping busy to stop thinking about Mr Cute, keeping my messages cool, but I am obsessing still thinking too much.

He was a reserve iron a previous time that I was single, just chatted, and I really didn't expect much when we met. If nothing else I will be more open-minded in the future.

Jax I hope your Mr French is as sexy tomorrow. Not sure it helps with over-investment issues.

Minnie how do you keep a level-head?

Choc I struggle... I think I am just having a good relaxed week, two weeks ago I was a complete mess with obsessing. If I am really wanting to text too much I turn my phone off for a bit, usually helps. I distract myself too with Netflix, just popping to get a coffee or work etc.

I have a feeling he is aware that I secretly obsess though, despite me trying to play it cool.

I think at the moment I am just thinking to myself well whatever happens does and if he does disappear I can't change that. I have some thing in my head that thinks because I met him on OLD then he will disappear.

Minnie I am the same, I find it hard to believe that meeting someone online ever works out, I have had my fair share of OLD disasters so I am kind of prepared for things to go wrong. Mr a Tinder wants me to meet his family in a few weeks and I am shitting myself, I’m not really ready for meeting the family (and I hate social family events). This morning he said to me ‘I really like you and am getting feelings, I’m not going to say the L word as I rarely say it but when I do say it I will really mean it’, this has freaked me out a little, I hope he doesn’t use the L word for a while because I’m no way near ready to use it.

Love I am glad it is me that doesn't just think that it is doomed because its OLD. I guess I consider myself relatively normal and was using OLD so must be guys in the same position.

How long have you been dating? I think the L word this early on would freak me out. I met some family members over the weekend and it was nice actually... I did worry about it being too soon or whatever (it has been four months) but I think it was the right time.

Lets see how long I stay in this semi positive frame of mind for.

Love glad its going well with Mr Tinder, my advice would be (whom am I to say.....) go at your own pace, trying to rush you would freak me out.

Jax I hope your Mr French has more potential than mine, he ticked all the boxes for a while there, then poof, hes gone (my fault, I got a bit crazy).

lost I love a beard, don't care if it is grey or ginger ;) He sounds nice!

I feel shocking today, like a virus or something. Eldest is now off school with chicken pox too, so on lockdown. I had to spend the morning with Mr Arcitect, I thought he was going to drive but he got in my shit pit of a car, so if I hadn't already totally blown it, I have now: hahaha! Seriously its shameful. We still have wierd moments where he keeps eye contact for way too long, doesn't move his leg away when we sit near each other etc. Still would like to see him naked, and see how he kisses, but I think anything more than that would never work as we already bicker like an old married couple.

I am meant to be seeeing Mr Brazil tomorrow, if I cancel he will think I am making it up, so might try move it to Friday and hope I feel better by then. He has been sweet though and offered to come to me, but I would prefer to go to him as he doesn't drive (or doesn't have a car here).

Mr French still hasn't read my message I sent on Monday, I miss talking to him we laughed a lot.

Minnie we have been dating for just over a month so way too early to use the L word (for me anyway). He is really sweet but a bit more into me than I am him. I like him but I'm still unsure of it being a long-term thing, we have different views on a few things. He's also decided to put his motorbike back on the road after a fall, I hate motorbikes but I can't say much to him (they scare the crap out of me).

Love yeah it would be too early for me too. I think it is best just to take it slow and see where it goes, without being rushed into anything. I am the same with motorbikes.

Well, I figured I would take the bull by the horns and text him. Just a very casual 'how's your week going?' Got a text almost straight back saying it was good and going fast. Then another text asking me if I'd had a meeting at work which I'd mentioned on our date? Replied that I hadn't and made reference to something jokey about my work. Nothing since. So I'm still none the wiser? Is he interested? Does he want to see me again? Fuck I'm hopeless at all this!!!!!

Hello all.... I'm still here, lurking in the background! Those who remember Mr Last Year and I are still going strong. It's been a couple of months now. We're tentatively making plans for the months ahead although I'm keeping them very loose as got bitten last year when he went all weird on me. Time will tell but for now, it's all good.

To all those angsting about whether to text, not text etc.... my advice is text. If you want another date, ask for one. What is the worst that can happen? He says no.... in which case you've saved yourself the anxiety and stress and most importantly the time. Better to know now where you stand than fret and worry for days or weeks. Personally I don't buy into the game playing. If I want a 2nd date I ask. If I don't then I say so and move on. I'm not fussed about seeming too keen. I really don't care if I show keen or not. Having gone through a marriage breakdown I figure I've gone through worse than some relative stranger saying No, they don't want to meet again

I'd like to have a word with a few irons:

Pudding I want your Mr French to get over himself and message you.

Love I want yours to calm down, one month is fine for the little l word like, but not for suggesting the big L.

Shoe I'd like to ask yours if he's friend-zoning you. He is being friendly but lacking intimate (e.g. I want you) interest.

I just fe it look me a long long time to put myself back out there. He pursued me online and seemed very keen and after meeting it's gone kinda flat and I actually liked him! So another knock in confidence huh?!

Shoe I wouldn't over analyse it, just let him know when you want a walk! Ball's in your court.

Languid do you think? X

Yep I think you're over thinking it. When you want a walk let him know, and take it from there