Lets have a bit of Summer Lovin' - Dating Thread 133!

[Jaxinthebox]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Cat sit on your hands otherwise like you say, you'll only look desperate. And slightly crazy too, I'm afraid. By messaging you're telling him you are fickke, you don't know what you want, desperate, slightly crazy, have no self respect or self worth and value him and his attention more than you value yourself. Step away from the keyboard

Meow-cancellations / flakiness happens to be ALL the time too. So frustrating.

Cat step away from the keyboard...

Have deleted his number (after one last crazy message, in for a penny in for a pound) and am swiftly trying to cheer myself up on POF. Any way to block him on there so if he comes back on he can’t see me?

Cat what was it that didn't feel right? Apologies if I missed something, I just saw your post saying you'd had a nice 5th date.

I feel about 15 talking about first base I have a thing about the s-word though (the 4-letter one describing kissing!) I really hate it so had to come up with something else. However you describe it Mr DM was pretty good at it, worth the wait. It's just as well I want to take things slowly though as given that he's still in a fair bit of discomfort and doing daily physio for his back it might be quite some time before we'd be able to get to the 3-letter s word anyway 😄

I just can’t put my finger on it. I’ve had a somewhat messed up love life for the last few years. Have been hot and colded by an unavailable man and it’s left me really really scarred so because iron was more neutral it wasn’t up and down up and down it just felt strange to me. The fault is completely mine, he’s done nothing wrong but I’m just a bit needy (unfortunately) because of how things were with this other guy. Also the texting is just a bit much but really I’d be complaining more if he wasn’t texting me so the poor guy can’t win! He’s sent me a message saying basically the ball is in my court, he was really really enjoying it but had pulled back a bit because we’d established how we felt kind of thing. He understands I need reassurance but we can’t have this conversation every day (we can’t) and that maybe he’s not enough for me or words to that effect. He’s honestly so lovely I’m just an idiot.

Quick look back on POF and it is depressing xx

Eek, date with Mr Doctor went really well, I think. He seemed to be really into me. We didn’t kiss goodbye though, so I’m wondering what the etiquette is now. I told him about my recent disaster date where the guy came on WAY too strong so I’m sure he had that in mind and didn’t want to make me feel uncomfortable. He touched my hand at one point and kept complimenting me. I really like him. Not sure what to do now though I feel like a teenager! Help!

Good luck everyone! I'm leaving MN for a while.

Sorry to hear that Literary
LeChat sounds like a lovely date

I've taken myself off all the sites yet again while I try and work out what I'm doing wrong.
I get loads of men viewing my profile but no messages (apart from the Hi sexy gang who message every woman). So there must be something about me that's putting them off. If I send a message I get ignored. I suspect it's my age and the fact I still have kids at home but there's not a lot I can do about that.

Cat trust your original gut thought.

Without knowing the details, the jist I pick up is:

He's a good guy, maybe even on paper, he should be right. That there technically isn't anything wrong except your gut is telling you it's not right.

It's the equivalent of house hunting and seeing a bunch of great houses but you don't get that Home feeling,

Or

It's moving to fast and it's thrown you off kilter. Take a breather...it's ok not to text or talk for a day or to to let your head figure out what's going on

LeChat that's great!

All you need to do...I think, is just enjoy the feeling

Mrcomputer is off on hols today. He messaged again last night....actually asking a question.

I'll wait to see if a date manifests then go. I'm not feeling it at the moment though

@RunsforCake14 I've also deleted my profiles. I'm going to invest some time starting again over the weekend.
I too have children at home and this definitely makes people run but I don't think I'd want to be with someone who makes that judgment based on not knowing my circumstances anyway... (or maybe I'm self preserving)

Literary short, bald but naughty face. Our conversation has been a string of one-liners and stoopid crap which honestly, I could really do with right now. Last relationship (finished end of Feb) left me a bit broke. Am nervous but looking forward to it

Oh Literary just read you're leaving 😢

Iron sometimes you need the stoopid crap! Good luck.

looking I'm 50 with kids at home that are still young enough to need sitters if I'm going out for an evening. I've come across men who think it's weird I have kids under 18 at my age. Like you say, I don't want to be with someone who judges me for that on the basis of a few words on the screen.
I take some consolation in the fact that all the men who haven't replied to my messages over the last few months are still very active on the sites. So they haven't found whatever they're looking for .

I agree @RunsforCake14 but then I think I'm now one of those faces that's been on there forever and people probably wonder what is wrong with me!! I'm going to do a profile overhaul and perhaps put a bit more effort in myself... maybe.

So turns out Bumble boy must have been joking about cancelling Sunday...which I clearly didn't get. Sounds like it's still going ahead and we're chatting like usual. Not even sure I fancy him though, will have to see when I meet him in person.

Still haven't told Mr Sexter I'm not interested any more, just ignored his whatsapp's from yesterday. I know it's bad I just find it easier to ignore people/ghost them than give an explanation. He's never going to enjoy hearing 'you're a creep please leave me alone our date is cancelled' lol.

Does anyone else find with OLD you can have a boom of talking to a few people at a time, then all of a sudden no one again! It does seem to be very flaky, I'm learning not to even believe a date is going ahead unless the day has arrived and we are both messaging about seeing each other.

meow what sort of joke is that?

when i used tinder i found i’d have either 10 people messaging at once or just none. i only ever had 2 dates because id seen them around in real life so knew i fancied them.

when i matched with people i thought were “good looking” and we chatted, i felt like they were just friends and had no desire to meet them because i didnt know if i fancied them IRL! weird i know, but i think thats why OLD doesnt work for me and im just letting things happen IRL.

i think some men/people also get caught up in the moment and arrange a date, then realise they arent really fussed. they use OLD mostly out of habit and boredom, i dont think they are seriously looking for a relationship.

How strange meow love the name Bumble Boy.

I’ve messaged Mr Doctor to say I really enjoyed last night. I’ll see if anything comes of it. I can’t remember the last time I went on a date with somebody and actually liked them!

This is my first dating thread post, I wondered if I might ask for some advice...

How long would you give things if you don’t feel any chemistry? I’ve met someone who’s really great, perfect in fact, in every other way but this. I’ve been online dating on-and-off two and a half years and it’s not worked long term with anyone I did feel it with so I was hoping it might grow. We did discuss it and we’re both happy to see what happens but tonight will be the fifth date. I’m mid 30s and hoping for something long term/ to have a family.

esk yes! I think that more often than not they're not actually looking for a relationship at all.

chat hope you get to see Mr Doctor again. It all sounds very promising.

I've rejoined POF and already wondering why I bothered. Not one sniff of an iron. Talking to Mr Beard on Bumble. He's very attractive but over-uses emojis. And the conversation isn't fascinating. Waiting for two others to reply.

Still nothing from Mr Academic to confirm the dates I sent over on Tuesday for our next date. Yesterday's advice here really helped though regarding this. When he does reply I'm tempted to say that I'm now busy as I'd assumed he couldn't do those dates so I made other plans. No-one keeps me hanging. It really is just rude.

Meghan I think I would expect to feel chemistry more or less straight away how many times have you met? If I didn’t feel any chemistry on a first date I probably wouldn’t go for a second.

Tom that’s poor of Mr Academic to leave it so long.

Meow he needs to make that joke upto u was a rubbish one

Tom Mr Arrogant cademic has given me the rage on your behalf. I honestly wouldn't waste my time game playing with him, given the message that you sent (i.e. giving availability for an actual date, not just a random hi how are you) he's inconsiderate and rude to keep you waiting for days for a response. Does he think you'll just sit there and keep all of your time free until he might deign to tell you he's available. Ugh, no no no, I think not.

Mr Doctor has replied. He replied to a bit of silly chit chat I was making then said ‘no worries, I had a great time too! X’

What does this mean? Should I message him back or is it a polite ‘thanks but no thanks’ ? I’m useless at this.