Lets have a bit of Summer Lovin' - Dating Thread 133!

[Jaxinthebox]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Thanks esk, it is just rude. And very selfish. Which I don't need or deserve. Why don't you send him a message on Instagram to just say hello? Be brave! If he likes you, saying hello won't hurt.

Really nervous about date with Mr Doctor tonight. I have depression and I’m feeling particularly low and anxious today. I really need to pull myself together

Hope your date goes well LeChat I have anxiety and it can be tough. Try and keep busy today and take your time getting ready.

Esk I agree with Tom send a quick message, if he does like you then it is better than driving yourself crazy waiting around.

I keep asking for my AIBU to be deleted and HQ are ignoring all my requests. Some people are so horrible. I'm now accused of lying about what he said in his profile and what the dating site have said

LeChat can you pinpoint why you are feeling so crappy today? Is the stress of the date making you feel like that or is it random or something else? I know a lot of the time it's random with depression and anxiety

Thanks Minnie

Lit it’s just random. I have okay days and bad days and today is a Bad Day. I don’t have work today so I’m on the sofa trying to watch TV to take my mind off how miserable I feel.

I’ll make sure I leave plenty of time to eat something and get ready.

minnie and tom im actually feeling quite laidback about it, im not trying to force or make things happen which ive usually done in the past. i used to want things to happen NOW. but im in no rush, and he knows i like him so he can come & speak to me or send me a message. otherwise, im quite happy on my own & doing my own thing

Ah, it is good that you have that attitude esk I need to calm down more often

lit never ever post in AIBU, I have done it several times and been eaten alive.

I’m having a rubbish time at the moment, lots of issues with my dd and a few other things, Mr Tinder hasn’t been helpful , I don’t expect him too but today he has seriously pissed me off, not helping that I’m in a foul mood anyway. I can’t really explain what he has done without outing myself and I am probably BU but I can’t even be bothered to talk to him right now, he has tried to phone me several times but I really can’t be doing with him on top of everything else going on. I was meant to be going to a local event with him at the weekend, not somewhere I’m particularly interested on going, I have had a better offer from a friend and I have decided I won’t be seeing Mr Tinder over the weekend.

Fifth date for me last night. Had a lovely time.

Going to watch some Amy Young today as am getting in way over my head!!

I'm on holiday in Turkey at the moment and some of the men on Bumble are just gorgeous - much more phew than back home!

meowimacat I'm so relieved that you feel this way too! Its definitely only certain men that do this. It just gets my back up and makes me cringe - not because I'm jealous as such, it's just such an unnecessary way to degrade you and make themselves seem desired. I think the emotional unavailable diagnosis is spot on. There seems a lot of them about too. Guess they get to have their cake and eat it so why change.

Esk I think it's quite exciting that you've got this little budding attraction going on. You need to give him full on green light "chap me up" moves and eyes when you see him next at the gym! Eek. I love a good flirt! Excited for you.

Sorry for those of you that are being messed about/ left hanging/ losing the will to live with dating. So many different ways to be fucked about nowadays. Wish they'd just be straight with their intentions.

ValMc1 Nice work! I might try this tactic when I go abroad myself soon....something to think about.

@LeChatDeNuit Eeek let us know how your date goes and try and be upbeat even if you don't feel it - I reckon after a short while being in his company your mood will pick up :)

So it seems I have changed up my date for Sunday to a new guy hahaha. I haven't told Mr Sexter yet - all he has talked about today is me stripping off - actually makes me feel sick. I don't know whether to just block him or tell him I'm not interested. I do have a habit of being a bit of a ghoster, I know it's bad.

I got speaking to a new guy on Bumble, and told him about Mr Sexter and he said to go for a drink with him instead. He has asked me a lot about myself, whereas Mr Sexter doesn't know anything about me. Doesn't ask about my life, my kids etc. I don't know if the new Bumble boy (haha) would be worth my time but I'd rather spend my time with someone who puts in a bit of effort.

Meow could you just message the sexter saying, sorry not my scene, good luck with your search xx'

Love that you've switched dates

I'm going to check this bumble out

I'm still texting a guy off POF and said I'd meet once he's back off hols. He sounds coatia but he's a bit hard work.
He texts in statements and doesn't really ask questions or comments. Wondered if it's the texting that's in the way. We have spoken but that was once and for about 30mins that was me saying id prefer to speak before agreeing to a date, to see if we get on etc
He's not tried to initiate speaking again.

Actually now I've typed this out loud...it doesn't sound very positive😂

Computerman...he works with computers.

I has a date tomorrow 😍😍😍

Totally skint mind!

Wheely try Bumble! I set up a profile today and amazingly already have three matches. I've contacted two and one has already replied and seems quite chatty. It is my preferred site. I've been back on POF less than 24 hours and already it's annoying me.

Is Bumble a paid site?

Iron oooh tell us all!

Literary Bumble is like Tinder but the women message first and the blokes have 24hrs to reply or the match disappears.
Good to hear you've had success with Bumble TomHardy I think I've had only 3 matches. Two never replied and one lived over 3hrs ago but swiped when he was visiting.

My stupid head told me to tell him things don’t feel right (they kind of don’t but I’m 99% sure it’s me) and that I don’t want to do it anymore and now I regret it :(
I am an idiot.

Cat you've gone with your gut and that's the right thing to do. The initial feelings of thinking you've done the wrong thing will fade and you'll realise you did the right thing.

Now I’m playing the desperate card by messaging him again. OMG kill me now.

Why am I such a headfuck?
I suppose if he doesn’t reply and say it’s cool blah blah blah I’ll know it was never gonna work anymway but I’m terrible for this. Stuff makes so much sense in my head ... I say it out loud (in text form) and straight away regret it cos actually it’s me who has the problem, not him. Wtf!!!

@Catmatrat don't regret it! I think it's guilt because you are worried now you have made the wrong mistake. Write out all the bad things about him. There are plenty more people out there better suited to you.

Argh so just got this message off Bumble boy 'Sooo I'm now busy all of Sunday ha' - Can't tell if that's meant to be a joke or not to our chat earlier but I doubt it. Waiting for an actual response that explains maybe a reason why if so. I do find it annoying how flaky people are. I've arranged SO many dates and things just never seem to actually go ahead for me.

I haven't actually cancelled on Mr Sexter yet but ignored his messages all afternoon/evening. So I could still go ahead with my Sunday date, just not sure there's any point if he's a total creep. (I probably won't.)

Do have another date planned for Wednesday next week with a really hot guy. But again, just don't know if I can trust anything to go ahead.