Lets have a bit of Summer Lovin' - Dating Thread 133!

[Jaxinthebox]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Vaping put her off? :/

Tbh the comment she made about being 'afraid of hurting people' makes me think she has form with this kind of behaviour (i.e suddenly dropping people). Probably had a few irons in the fire...but I could be wrong.

Not that I'm saying she's in the wrong for not being interested, but she does potentially sound quite shallow so maybe you've had a lucky escape?

It's all valuable experience though! Onwards and upwards A4 :) xx

Probably had a few irons in the fire...but I could be wrong

That was my guess too but there's nothing wrong with having your options open I guess.

Thanks Mama :)

Wow! That’s disappointing A4 but at least you know now rather than further down the line when you’ve invested more time. Maybe I should leave my vape at home

Mr Doctor wants to meet for drinks! I’m getting nervous. I have no problem meeting men I feel undecided about but I actually really like him... and that’s when the nerves set in!

Good luck, Chat! I know exactly what you mean, it's sooo different when you actually like them.

Let me know if it doesn't work out.

@Costaricachica the mentioning of exes/flings etc is a top sign of a guy who is emotionally unavailable. It’s also a twattish thing to do - last guy I dated did exactly that and sadly I am a jealous bitch so that didn’t help 😂

A4 oh yes, the hurting people comment. That was odd.
My profile distinctly says no vapers so she should have put it on hers if she feels strongly about it.
Onwards!

I’m not a fan of vaping or smoking but it wouldn’t stop me from going on a date as it’s not a huge issue if you like someone enough (and they can always give it up at some point).

Mr Tinder is a smoker but is trying to give up, he will occationally vape, he doesn’t smoke around me as he knows I don’t like it.

It's Wednesday, obviously, going to still try and get a date lined up for the weekend. The weather is too nice to spend it in the garden on my Jack Jones.

meowimacat it definitely is a twattish thing to do isn't it. I did wonder if it was me being insecure as it really got my back up. Obviously people do have significant exes who understandably get a mention at some point and are breezed - but seriously, don't need to know anything of those details/ stealth boasts. I wonder what the desired impact is?! To make you feel that they're so in demand that you're lucky they're even considering you? Strange and a real turn off.

Popping back on for some advise from you wise daters....

I've been seeing Mr Last Year for about 3 months now and after he cancelled on me again yesterday I expressed that I'm not happy with a) always being last on his list of priorities, as in I'm always the one he cancels on and b) that after 3 months only seeing each other every 2-3 weeks isn't working for me. I want a relationship with someone and I don't see how you are supposed to build one if you're seeing someone so irregularly.
To be fair, I am also very busy, have a full and active life but I feel like I bend over backwards to fit seeing him at least once a week. I've also had to cancel on him once due to the fact I had a horrendous headache.
I've been calm in our text exchange on the subject, just pointing out that I feel very low on his list of priorities etc and cancelling on me yesterday was a bit out of order seeing as how I've booked a sitter etc. He responded by saying he doesn't do drama and was going to bed. Since then nothing. This is completely unheard of. He always texts me in the morning but today absolutely nothing.
Am I being unreasonable and dramatic? It feels like I'm not allowed to express anything without it being deemed dramatic which I'm absolutely not!!

Every 2-3 weeks wouldn’t be enough for me!

Mr Doctor has suggested drinks either tomorrow night or Sunday night. What do you think? It’s a bank holiday so tomorrow night is likely to be quieter but I’m really nervous!

Change see those red flags waving in the breeze? If he's like this now, imagine what he'll be like in 6 months time? Who was it who said "when a man shows you who he is the first time, believe him." Or whatever the quote was. Telling you he doesn't do drama is manipulating you into not expressing your feelings for fear of upsetting him. He's minimising and disregarding your feelings. It's emotional abuse. He's shown you all along that you aren't an important part of his life. Don't give him any more of your time.

Love my ex who had been a long distance friend for over 20 years didn't used to smoke around me either. He wore patches for the first weekend making me think he was fantastic for doing that for me. It only lasted that weekend.
Maybe it's because I'm older and and more aware of what I want and don't want but I won't entertain anyone addicted to anything. I'm very particular

Change every 2-3 weeks wouldn't feel like a relationship to me either and highlighting this isn't showing "drama" it's being honest. I would get rid and try again!

Change- I'd get rid too! That's not a foundation for a relationship, it's almost breadcrumbing!

lookingforbutterflies that's exactly what I said to him yesterday, that I feel like I'm offered crumbs and have to be grateful when I'm thrown a few. He responded that he saw his future with me, wanted me in his life. But that was it. No acknowledgement that my feelings were valid or had any substance. He also said (and I quote directly): I would never be bothered if I didn’t see you for a few weeks , as I know your doing stuff you like and chilling as am I ...

Then came the drama thing and since then nothing. I know I need to walk away....

Easier said than done I know Change but put those running shoes on...

💐

I went out on my first date, I was the one asking about kissing on a first date! All went well, in the spirit of the thread I shall call him MrSpain. He was lovely, very respectful. Don't know how I feel about him but he asked to see me again.

What is usual now, should be carrying on perusing the sites for other new interests? It feels wrong but it might be useful in stopping me getting too into this one.

Change this man is not worth a single minute more of you're time..... he is a narcissist. Wants you to do all the chasing, be hanging on his every word. He is treating you so badly..... if you are not careful someone like this will shred your self esteem and then you will never get away. Leg it while you can.

Never settle darling, and know your own worth x

Omg......YOUR I MEANT YOUR

Bloody autocorrect

Change I wonder if you are dating my ex??

Two weekends ago I had 3 dates lined up and one by one they all cancelled. One I never heard from again. One I met last week for coffee but we both agree we weren't a good match.
The last one I was supposed to have a date with this Friday and he's cancelled again. He's very apologetic. And says he still wants to meet me but understands if I tell him to get lost.

I think you should keep your options open for now Regina, it’s only been one date.

I’m meeting Mr Doctor tomorrow. Really nervous.

Cake what's his reasons for keep cancelling? Do you think they are valid or is he playing?

Literary first time was work & he provided proof. This time it's family.
I think they are genuine reasons but his work keeps him very busy. Long hours, lots of travel so finding time to date is difficult.
I just said I'd leave it up to him, if he wants to meet me then he needs to find time.

I've no other interest from anyone at the moment. Lots looking at my profile but no one messaging or replying to my messages. Something on my profile must put them off but I can't work out what it is.