Lets have a bit of Summer Lovin' - Dating Thread 133!

[Jaxinthebox]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Trainers are considered smart now IMO if you wear the right pair

I'm 47 though. Last time I brought a pair of casual trainers "Addidas Gazelle" my Ex-Freaked and called me a child.

On the other hand though loafers would make me feel really old...ha ha.

But you're right, I need appropriate footwear for the summer.

It's via OLD. She messaged me first, which made me suspicious :) but we've spoken on the phone (god she sounds amazing) and swap texts everyday, all very low key which is great.

A4 sounds good! Good luck with it. Just keep those flip flops at bay 😏

LeChat - maybe. Although if they are, I'd like to think they'd find better cat fish photos!! Trouble is, when you match you know they've been on since you registered so they're not old profiles...

I'm due to have a date tonight. MrCastle. I'm not sure I'm feeling it. It's via POF and he ALWAYS seems to be online on there. He only has one photo... I'm sitting here talking myself out of going!

Hmm yes some people can be specific about what they wont tolerate re: footwear. But in all honesty it wont matter when the right lady comes along (as cheesy as it sounds.)

Although I dislike flip flops, I wouldn't let it get in the way if a genuine connection was forming and neither would any woman worth your time.

But like I say no harm in treating yourself; new clothes and shoes always give you a little confidence boost and we all love a confident man!

Good luck! Happy for you!

Thanks all. I will definitely update. Although I may come back for some clothing advice.

I did have one minor red flag though, which obviously I've ignored.....

Whilst messaging she said she was "afraid! Afraid of hurting people, I think I hurt the last two people I dated"

Just thought it was a slightly odd thing to say , it may just be me.

My philosophy has always been though, you can't make someone like you and if they don't like you, move the heck on.

Flipflops would be ok with me so long as the rest of the outfit was smart.

Flip flops: do you mean like Havaianas or like a nice pair of Birkenstocks? If its the later, they are fine, especially if it roasting.

Personally, I want a date to wear what they feel comfortable in, i would hate to think you are walking round uncomfortable. I basically live in flip flop/ sandals in the summer, and no doubt I will go on dates in my Birkenstocks!

I suppose they can be construed as scruffy as guess.

I’d also think that was an odd thing to say. If the genders were reversed I’d run personally, but I’m not sure about a woman saying something like that to a man.

I’d also think that was an odd thing to say

Indeed, she's quite attractive though so I can imagine guys falling for her.

I'm just glad I've got something to do this weekend and if something comes of it then great, if not, then I don't really care, if you know what I mean.

It depends on the flip flops in question, and the rest of the outfit, but I think they'd be a bit of a turn-off for me as first date attire unless we were going to the beach.

There have been a few discussions about Bumble on here. I'm pretty sure a lot of the profiles are fake, there's just no way there are that many extremely good-looking, fit, single, late-30s men around this part of Devon who are not using any other dating sites (because they never pop up anywhere else). I tried it when visiting a friend upcountry too and found the same - tons of Action-Man lookalikes who weren't appearing on either Tinder or POF. Every time I go on a Bumble swiping spree I get a lot of matches but a very low rate of reply to any messages that I send. I've only had a handful of proper conversations on there but dozens on POF and Tinder.

Mr DM still showing good - just the right messaging balance, keen but not intrusive. We're going to the cinema to see Deadpool 2 tomorrow night, date 4!

The other thing about Bumble is that as well as there being hundreds of very attractive men, most of them all seem to have really good jobs. I just can’t believe how many attractive doctors and pilots there are in my area. Hmmm, I’m starting to think it may be a bit of a con.

MrCastle just cancelled on me tonight! Better offer I expect. Saved me a job. He's got my number but messaged through POF!

Why is he called Mr Castle?

LeChat gratefully not because he owns one. I'm no Megan Markle!!

I've not had any new matches for a few days on eharmony. It's pants. Cba joining anything else though.

I'm not sure about the flip flops either but if walking on the beach then you need beach suitable shoes so is difficult. Is just take off my suitable for a first date shoes and go barefoot on the beach though. Please make sure you trim your toe nails regardless of which shoes you choose. It's amazing how many blokes I see with troll feet. Sounds a lovely date to be going on

so i just found out via mutual friend that my gym crush said he thought i was attractive but mutual friend didnt want to tell me/didnt want to gossip !

(said mutual friend is actually my ex-iron from last year )

so thats good i guess! he said he’ll drop a few hints that i fancy him haha. cringe.

Hey girls, thought I'd join this thread. Been on the NC thread but have finally moved on from my emotionally unavailable Tinder guy who wasted 5 months of my life.

I had a date last weekend - turned up and the guy had 'DEVIL' tattooed on his hand and dried blood on his trousers - he told me his dog must have had had her time of the month on his clothes - WHO SAYS THAT and who doesn't check their trousers before a date!!!! So not that successful so far hahaha.

I have a date for Sunday, the guy is really cute BUT he's only been single since January after a two year relationship. That's very soon isn't it? I'm so cautious of red flags and I'm not looking for a FWB.

Would you guys say that's too soon? I'm still gonna go on the date, but that's only because I'm child free and have nothing else to do haha.

A47 maybe a bit too casual, go get yourself a nice pair of Birkenstocks ;)

meow a bit soon maybe but you won’t know until you meet him! If he talks about her excessively (or at all, even) then you know to back away...

meow I don't think 5 months after 2 years is too quick at all. Isn't the general rule a month for every year you were together or something like that...

I'd be more worried about the dried blood on the trousers....

I like a man in flip flops, as long as he has nice feet of course, some people should never be seen in flip flops

I missed the bit about the blood!!! I think 4/5 months is ok too and you know the kind of things to look out for and are a very strong person who has got a handle on things so go for it (unless they have blood in their pants! )

A4 what about a pair of Toms or similar? I am no fashion fiend but also wouldn't like flip flops and would find loafers a bit 'old'.
Quite glad men have these dilemma's too, hope your date goes well :)

@LiteraryDevil I only remembered the bit about blood the other day - must have drank so much on the date to block it out haha. Hope you're well, glad we're both over here from the NC thread.

To be fair this guy is barely chatting to me. I'm finding there to be a real lack of guys on Tinder. POF I just get vile messages and guys who say 'hey' and Bumble I'm too pathetic to use as I hate messaging first. What do you say in an opening message? Argh.

Meow - I say 'hey X'

If it's not good enough, it's their loss!