Lets have a bit of Summer Lovin' - Dating Thread 133!

[Jaxinthebox]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Sounds like a lovely day Jax enjoy your holiday

I am bothered by clothes and think someone should make a bit of an effort. White jeans wouldn't bother me though. My thing is pointy shoes!!

Jax that sounds like a fabulous day. I'm so pleased things are working out. Have a great holiday.

I'm trying really hard to go NC with Mr Academic. His message, albeit banter, threw me at the weekend. I thought he'd ghosted me. He also replied quite quickly. His last message was 8am yesterday. It's my turn to reply and I really want to. And I want to ask him out again, even though he turned me down last week as he was "busy". But my sensible WMLB side of me says stay away, let him do the running and the asking. What do I do?

tom keep it light and breezy, or suggest an event to go to, but dont ask.

For everyone asking about kissing on the first date, I think it depends on the person and spark. Ive kissed on the lips but no full on smooching - with a couple of dates... the exception being mrsnog but then I broke nearly ALL the rules with him.

TomHardy don't do it. He knows where you are and how to reach you. Let him prove its not 'bread-crumbing' by asking you!!!

Thanks spring and jax I've sent a brief flippant reply to his last message. No question, nothing. Just a comment. I'll leave it at that. He has read it. No reply yet. Which is fine. He's always slow in replying. I'm getting to the point where I'm now bored and want someone who actually messages with meaning. We've had three dates FFS.

Happy belated birthday jax and vixen.

vet Mr Diamond Mine sounds very very promising :)

choc Mr Cute sounds lovely, happy smitten bench time :)

So after having no contact with Mr French since Wednesday I did a bit of digging and came acorss a video on instagram posted by a girl on a beach and who walks into shot with his back turned......? Yep Mr french, my spidey sense had tingled he was playing me a bit, but he just kept telling me he was busy and stressed. Anyway, deleted his number so I can't whats app him, still have him on instagram but he isn't much of a poster so i have a way to contact him if I really want. I know where I stand now, which is good, the ball is now back in my court should I ever want to see him again (probably not, but he did ignote something in me I didn't know was there. Ie. perhaps wanting a real realtionship, not bread crumbs. he isn't the one, but should he make the effort to come my way, I MIGHT see him again.

I am still not well after my kidney infection and been feeling meh, but downloaded tinder again and got a couple of matches. Things will be different form now on, I read WMLB and although I don't agree with it all, the owning your own shit mantra appeals.

Have a good week everyone :0

Hello my fellow lovelies!

Can I join this thread? Single for 3 years and just started tinder last week so could do with some support while I navigate this minefield! And some people to laugh with at how awful some of the exchanges can be on there!
Currently talking to a really nice local guy on there but we are yet to meet... he's got a little girl and is quite dry and funny. Knowing my luck he's 5ft nothing with a voice like Kenneth Williams but we will see...

Is Tinder ok now? It used to crash on me regularly so I gave up. Also thought it was just for hook ups but happy to be corrected on that.

literary My app sometimes crashes, but generally its ok. I have had a few dates that haven't led to anything and the guys have been respectful and not even mentioned sex. i have also had a few dates where it has developed into more and I guess we both knew it was just a hook up. There seems to be three categories: hook ups only (they usually are really blatant and you can tell that is what they are after, if you are too that is ok), ones looking for a relationship, and the majority I talk with have an open mind about things. Like with anything it requires etes wide open, and only doing what you are comfrotable with.

I am sure these catergories exsist in all OLD platforms, not just Tinder.

Thank you for all the lovely birthday wishes - spent the weekend in good company with great friends so it was pretty fabulous.

I had a lunch date today with MrSwish who was ever so charming in real life, not a sniff of bad behaviour after him pushing his luck over messages. MrSwish was well named, rocked up in a top of the range black Range Rover, suited and booted and looking fly. Met inside the pub, only for me to knock his phone flying out of his hand- thankfully no damage but I felt incredibly stupid - lol. He can't say he wasn't warned though - I am very clumsy.

His life is a million light years from mine, he owns 3 cars, 1 a ridiculously flash sports car. Own business, high achieving professional 🙈 I felt a little bit intimidated by it all to be honest, I'm a simple girl with a simple life - lol. We are world's away.

I did quite fancy him, sucker for a well dressed man in a suit with lovely manners and charm. But I think he is completely out of my league. I would probably just spend my whole time feeling like I'm not good enough (not by him, by me+). Not sure whether I'll see him again - world's apart? But a lovely way to spend the afternoon none the less!

X

A bit of a odd weekend, spent some of it with Mr Tinder (I know....i know), we talked a lot, he has made a few changes and is trying to not be as keen, some things have gone well and others not so well. I'm kind of jist going with the flow and not getting too stressed about anything although if he messes up I will be walking away..

Also my divorce came though today, I'm sure I should be celebrating by going out and snogging several fit men?? But instead I am working and I don't really have anyone to tell about the divorce, I don't think anyone will be interested or understand how happy I am.

Hi you lovely lot, can i hop on?
I havent rtft (its so long) but im hoping to catch up as i go along.
So after leaving an abusive relationship over a year ago ive decided to tentaively dip my toe back into the dating pond.
Ive done the crying, the mourning, the therapy. Ive been kind and patient with myself and i think now id like to start thinking about meeting someone.
So personal boundaries are firm, self respect at a record high, expectations are realisic, enthusiasm is at a moderate pitch, all good right.
So saturday i have a meet arranged with someone ive been talking to for a couple of days, banter good. Quite funny back and forth messages. He sugested the date i agreed, it was arranged easily. Saturday afternoon he cancels (problem with his son) but continues to send messages , they are get cheeky/rude, I stop responding.
Today so far i have talked to someone local, fitted what im looking etc etc. After a few messages i asked him how long he's been single, abiut a month was his answer (11 year relationship) i politely bailed out of that one and declined his request for my number. 11 bloody years.....one month wtaf.
I recieved a message from someone explaining his arranged marriage has recently ended so he cant do complicated but would i consider being his regular lover. Oh yes please.....not. Obviously I said thanks but Im pretty sure I will pass on that one.
Finally a man 10 years younger than me messaged asking if we could chat as apparently im stunning and he likes older women..ffs.
Im already wanting to delete my profile.

Bloody hell that was long, soz.

Love congratulations on the divorce! It must be a great feeling. My nisi is due in the next few weeks. I'm glad things seem a bit better with Mr Tinder too. Hopefully they continue to improve.

Vixen I'm glad the date went well. I think I'd feel the same as you if I met someone like that, just not good enough. But of course you absolutely are. And I'm sure he thought you were amazing. Did he suggest a second date? Personally though, the lifestyle differences would be enough to put me off. Not because I wasn't good enough, I'd just like someone more similar to me. Still, as you say, a lovely way to spend an afternoon. Would you see him again if he asked?

confused I love your post. It serves as a reminder to me why I've deleted my profile and am giving it a wide berth right now!! Hopefully you will find someone amongst all of the unsuitable ones!

Love was Mr Tinder being too keen or too controlling?

Keen is wanting to see you and thinking about the things that make you happy. Controlling is ignoring your requests and having things his way, e.g. about his dog frightening your pets.
Has he changed that much?

Vixen you are special and you are the prize. Money doesn't buy happiness.

Confused I have tried to calculate odds before and think for every man I have dated and liked I have read profiles of up to 75, written to up to 10. I like a challenge so despite weird experiences I hope think OLD can work.

Part of me wants to end things with Mr Cute because I like him. Just know if this carries on I could get hurt. So daft I'm off to watch Amy Young videos.

Love and Tom congratulations on divorces. I found it weird to talk about mine in RL, but was happier inside.

Confused Christ that's depressing!!! What is wrong with these men??!!

Love - congrats on the divorce coming through. It sounds like you should be marking the milestone with some sort of celebration, wine? Chocolate? Meal out at pub with a best friend! Or at least arrange something for some day this week.

Alittlebitconfused - hmm, so in the wonderful world of OLD you will come across ALL sorts. It really is a case of developing a thick skin, keeping standards high and sifting through all the frogs, you know there is a prince lurking in there somewhere. Initially with OLD I went on and offline because it did my head in a lot to begin with. It does get easier!

TomHardy so I would 100% have reservations about the difference in lifestyle, I guess though what I don't know is if he is bored of that lifestyle and perhaps wants to get away from it! You can't assume anything.

He really was quite charming and a total gent. At the end of the date he said, i'd really like to see you again sometime, so I guess another date is on the cards at some point. I would probably go on another date - id be less nervous this time and not spending the whole time thinking "OMG I almost smashed his phone...." 🙈. I would be so much better during an evening date - less pressure!

I think white jeans would throw me off too! I didn’t think I was too fussy about clothes and shoes but online dating has taught me otherwise.

Just back from two week hol and I think the guy I’ve been on a handful of dates with is over it - feel like I’m being breadcrumbed (im also slow at responding to him as I’m so worried about him ghosting me!).

He was really keen before I left which is annoying me but if he can’t wait two weeks he’s obviously not right (this is what I keep telling myself) ugh. Can’t bring myself to get back on the apps either. Feel a bit stuck today.

Popple is this guy even right for you if you are worried about him ghosting you? Please please find someone worthy of your time and effort....... It should feel exciting in the beginning - not worrying about being breadcrumbed or ghosting. BIN HIM OFF lady and get dusting yourself off and start again. Life is too short for half assed things, especially half assed men ;-) - mwah x

Vixen I would definitely give him a chance. I initially had similar reservations about Mr DiamondMine - I have a good job and all but he earns well into 6 figures, has a big house, 2 expensive cars, a boat etc. etc. So far it's fine though, he's not flashy at all, we're both very outdoorsy and we have a lot in common in terms of travel, hobbies and outlook.

I got a message on POF from a 44 year old bloke today offering to 'be your lover until Mr Right comes along'. That'll be a no < not envy.

choc Mr Tinder was being over keen (not controlling at all), just a bit too comfortable too early and moving way too fast. I asked him to give me some space last week and he did even though he said he found it hard. The chocolate he had sent me was sent before any of this happened. We talked and both decided things had moved way too fast and we should slow things down, we also talked about the issues regarding his dog coming everywhere with him and we set some rules (for when he’s over my house). He stayed last night but slept downstairs as he has a chest infection and didn’t want to keep me awake, he’s now gone home and I won’t see him until the end of the week when he’s taking me out for a few hours.

I’m hoping to celebrate my divorce with a friend, maybe a few drinks in a local pub and a meal. Exh came over tonight to look after the dd’s Whilst I worked, I wasn’t sure if I should say anything to him as he wouldn’t have got the letter until he left here, so I decided not to say a work. I feel like I want to tell everyone but people (family, friends) won’t understand what a big deal it is so I have told no one.

Found you, wrote a post and then lost it- gah!
Sounds like lean times for many on here, let's hope the sun brings out some better quality frogs!

Lots of RL family crap distractions that have hit hard so had my eye off the ball a bit.

Been on a couple of dates with someone gorgeous looking who I had great banter with but he bailed after the second and I suspect he's looking for a trophy GF rather than real people like me. His loss.

I'd backed off from my FWB which he took graciously but he was happy to return and remind me quite what I'll be giving up when I meet someone special We had a really deep conversation for the first time on a day we didn't go to bed and I have an insight as to why he won't get serious with anyone again, a very sad story but he's come to terms with it. He knows I'm OLD and that his days may be numbered but has been quite wise in his management of the headfuck I've been of late!

Had several chats in the last few days but nothing really sparking me so let them fizzle out. Spoke to two guys last night, the one who looked best in his photo wasn't as appealing by phone whereas the other one caught me by surprise- we've chatted again today and arranged to meet in the sunshine (hopefully) on Wednesday.
I've decided that my approach to it all is to be brutally open and honest, I can't be arsed to be cagey and pretend that I'm living like a nun. If they can't handle my truth, judge me or have trust issues, it won't work anyway. I've not put him off so far...

Love it sounds like Mr Tinder is listening so that's a good turn of events. It's much better than when he was planning on you taking on his dog.

I wish I wasn't divorced, in terms of seeing happily married friends and wishing I had that, but I'm glad I have no connection (except DCs) with exH. Enjoy your meal with your friend.

vixen you’re so right! He’s not given me any inclination that he’d ghost but all he stories on here are spooking me (forgive the pun).

I’m not really a game player but this situation is making me into one - not healthy!

Was hoping for a FWB type situ but I’m already wasting too much time on it...urgh.

Time for an OLD break I think!