Lets have a bit of Summer Lovin' - Dating Thread 133!

[Jaxinthebox]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Happy birthday Jax and vixen!

Happy birthday Vixen

Happy Birthday my fellow birthday twin vixen

MrSnog will rock up when he gets here. Im busy packing/sorting for my holiday tomorrow. 10 days in the sun cant wait. I dont wait around for him, I just get on with my day and if he isnt here when Im ready to do something else, its tough luck for him. . I think because I have this mindset it works.

I quite liked the analogy of FWB + . thats us.

So I’m back. Most of you won’t remember me, I was here a year ago. Met someone on tinder, (Mr wind farm) thought he was the one, 10 months down the line realised he most definitely wasn’t!
So I’m back, reluctantly. Been in my own 2 months, went back onto Bumble on Friday. My god they are all still there!!!😂 .... I was lucky I never had a bad dating experience, just no spark, distance etc. So I couldn’t help swiping them all again just to see if they’d swiped me and they had. So it was quite nice catching up with them as friends! One I’d been chatting to, but dumped in favour of “Mr wind farm” started chatting wanted to know where I’d disappeared to a year ago! 😂. So chatting to a couple of irons .... really not sure if I want to start dating again but I’m a bit bored.

Originally my instinct was not to date someone who didn’t have children, I have 2, although teenagers they still need their mum! But I went against this, I should have stuck to my instinct, my other bit of advice don’t date someone who thinks there should be blue jobs and pink jobs!!!! 😨

Happy birthday 🎂

Thanks for the tips
I’ve been super naive. Obvs early days doing 3 weeks of OLD after a ten year marriage . I will get the book and get my head sorted 😊

Hi, newbie to the summer loving dating thread

Veteran online dater, but met someone I am really liking! We met nearly 2 weeks ago after he asked me out. During the first date he told me he'd like to see me again, so we did a week later.

Given that he'd asked me out twice, I bit the bullet and asked him on a third date which happened on Wednesday.

He's been slightly on the quieter side since. Still texting but he won't always ask me questions and continue conversation. What should happen next ladies? Shall I initiate conversation or wait for him to do it? Should it be me who asks him out or vice versa?

Happy birthday Jax and Vixen! 🎂🍾🥂

Nothing to report my end, still licking my wounds after last week's revelations. Alrhough I do wonder now if I overreacted considering we'd never had "the chat". Have had some fantastic giggles with my gal pals though so feeling a bit more boosted up now.

Happy birthday Jax and Vixen.

Literary I think I dated that guy last year. Turned up 20mins late then moaned about everything - work, life, women, the coffee. Looked at me like I was dirt on his shoe.

Quick question for those that follow WMLB. I've got a new Tinder match, who actually sent a message. We exchanged a few more messages this morning but then I needed to get on with my day. So I sent a quick "Enjoy the rest of your day". He said "And you" (with a zillion kisses)
Should I try and get the conversation started again this evening? Or leave it to him to see how interested he is? He's the first bit of interest I've had recently so I don't want to lose him by playing it too cool.

Happy birthday!! Hope it's beautiful and sunny where you are like it is here.

I'm still dumbfounded over that date. I've only ever been on 6 first dates in my life as knew all the blokes I had relationships with via work, school, uni etc, This was my first bad date. Next time I'm insisting on a phone call before meeting as I'd have weeded him out over the phone. He was just so rude! And nothing to take about unless I started on a subject.

Oh ffs I just typed a long post and lost it.

Vixen happy birthday!

Wingle welcome back and sorry things didn't work out with Mr Wind Farm.

Non in that situation I would back off a bit now and let him make some effort. If you asked for the last date I would want to see some reciprocation of interest from him.

Costa you didn't overreact. At all. He's a twunt.

Runs I wouldn't have a problem dropping him a breezy message in that situation. Just something funny or interesting about the day and then leave the ball in his court.

I've had a lovely day with Mr DiamondMine. We met at a beautiful pub, sat outside in the sun, had a drink and some food and then a walk (albeit a short one as his back is still very painful). He's really lovely, conversation flows and he's brilliant with my dog, which is vital. I got a message literally as soon as I got home to say he'd had a lovely time, he really enjoys my company and is looking forward to doing it again soon. We did kiss on the lips twice when saying goodbye, although not a proper kiss. He's definitely not forward in that regard, but neither am I, it takes me a few meetings to decide if I really fancy someone. I think it's going in the right direction and that suits me a lot better than too much too soon in that regard. So, still cautiously optimistic

So I've got my first date on Tuesday after 8 years of marriage. What are the do's and dont's? I've arranged to meet somewhere public. Is it trashy to kiss on the first date even if you want to?

VetOnCall Thank you. Additional reality check/ kick up the arse needed and received. He was and eill remain a C bomb Sounds like your date was good though - go girl!

Literary don't be so sure lol. I'd had an amazing phone conversation with an OLD and he turned out to be the dullest excuse of a human being ever.... so not always full proof but nonetheless probably a good idea 9 times out if 10.

Regina I have kissed on a first date as I haven't many people that I haven't already established that I fancy in real life. Would be more reserved on an OLD I'd suspect do take note of what others advise.

Lastly - I think my brother's friend might have made a low level come on to me on Friday ..... Something to think about. X

I've now put on my profile that I won't agree to a date unless we've chatted on the phone first. My subscription runs out soon so not expecting any more dates. Eharmony is crap. Hardly any matches that are close enough to meet up with. They are all an hour away or more. I don't drive so too far and as I have children, if they have children, it means we are never going to have a full relationship with a view to marriage or living together so it's s non-starter. I'm in my 40s so looking for the long term. Eharmony is supposed to be one of the better sites for LTR but so far it's shite.

Regina-good luck! Be yourself, dress in what you feel good and comfy in

Vet Mr DiamondMine sounds lovely. I hope it continues like that.

Regina I've only kissed one man on a first date and that was the guy I was seeing most of last year. The chemistry was definitely there for both of us from the beginning (shame it didn't last).
I tend to be more reserved but have accepted a hug and a peck on the cheek. But this is because I haven't wanted to see any of them again.
Might change my mind if I actually met someone I would consider seeing again. If you both like each other then why not.

Regina it's definitely not 'trashy' but everyone has their own individual comfort zone when it comes to getting physical with people you've just met. I don't kiss on first dates beyond a peck on the cheek as it takes me a while to decide if I find someone attractive enough to want to kiss them. There's nothing wrong with kissing on the first date if you both want to, it's just not something I'd personally do.

Literary I don't think eharmony gets great reviews overall. POF and Tinder tend to give the best return as they have the most users. There's a lot of crap on both but there are some good ones too. Fair enough re. the phone calls but it might rule out a few otherwise decent people. I'm not dull or bitter (honest ) but I would rather gouge out my own eyeballs with a teaspoon than have to endure a social phone call with a complete stranger. I hate talking on the phone to people I know let alone people I've never met. I think a few people on here do pre-date calls though.

literary I completely agree with vet about stipulating a mandatory conversation prior to a date - might inadvertently be a turn off. It's always something you can broach with someone you're actually taking to.

Ffs - messaged my Tinder match with a casual "how's your day been?". We exchanged a few more pleasantries and I suggested we should meet sometime.
His reply - "can't wait xxx"
So now I think I should wait for him to ask when and where. Am I right? Or I say I'm free Saturday afternoon I'll see you for coffee at XX?

You've got a point about the phone call. It's just that usually we message on the app, then move over to text, then phone calls and then meeting up is an extension of those chats. Not that those relationships worked out but I was a lot happier to meet someone I'd chatted to on the phone. My profile did say I wanted to progress to speaking on the phone before a date but 2 out of 4 guys ignored that. The other two were great on the phone and we'd built up a good rapport by the time we met. They didn't work out because one was a priest and a narcissistic one at that, and the other was still living with his stbexw The guy I dated for 10 months chatted for a good while via the app then text but we didn't speak on the phone. We got on great but he turned out to be emotionally abusive so I'd about given up. The last guy was just bizarre but I really do think a phone call with him would have been awkward and I'd have cancelled the date. This whole dating thing is hard work! I'm happier being on my own to be honest. One day I might just happen to meet someone the old fashioned way. I can but hope. I'm planning on a golden years romance

What do blokes usually wear on a first date? I'm asking as was a bit surprised last night at white jeans, brown boots and a casual checked shirt. He was 47. It was a bit too casual and summery for a late evening date I thought. I always expect men to wear dark blue jeans, nice boots or shoes (one guy wore handmade leather brogues which caused him to go flying down the bowling lane which was hilarious ) and a polo shirt or similar smartish short sleeved shirt with a nice jacket. It was warm last night so a jacket wasn't required though. We were meeting for drinks at a fairly fancy yet relaxed restaurant with an outside terrace.

Vet Mr diamond mine sounds ideal,
keen but not pushy.

Regina I don't kiss beyond a peck on the cheek on a first meeting as I don't see it as a date, just coffee and chat for 3 hours max. On the next 'official' date I'm happy to snog and cuddle, but I want to interogate ask lots of questions on first meeting. Also, I then have lower expectations, plus no guilt having several meetings in the same fortnight if the opportunity arises.

Runs I would say "I'm probably free Saturday", then see what he says.

I'm still with Mr Cute after I think about 6 weeks. We have seen each other three times a week and get on well... I'm smitten. I'm watching lots of Amy Young/Matthew Hussey to keep it cool, but he seems very interested.

I started OLD about two years ago, no idea of the number of single dates, but this is the seventh time I have dated beyond a month and thought there could be a ltr. Still early days, but I'm enjoying it.

Literary white jeans would put me off a bit, but I there is no single outfit for dating. Smart jeans/combats are probably more common.

I'm no fashionista myself - I live in jeans, or shorts at the moment - so I'm not really bothered about what the bloke wears as long as it's clean and presentable. Most of my first dates have been in a casual country pub setting and the blokes have all gone with some variation of blue jeans and a checked shirt with smart trainers or brown shoes.

Ooh I hate a phone call with a stranger - I need to visualise people to relax on the phone. Personally I have to meet an iron first before we chat on the phone. I've no idea if that's normal or not, sorry!

White jeans? That's a firm No from me!

I'm firmly in the wallow at the minute, no decent irons. The only guys I'm talking to live bloody miles away, and there's no chance of anything happening. (although one of them insists it could work. I'm not sure how!) I'm beginning to think I should just get more cats.
I'm going to another gig on my own - I need to get used to doing that 🙄

hi everyone and welcome/welcome back...

I had a lovely day yesterday. MRSnog came up, made me breakfast while I had a shower and got ready for the day, we ate, sat and chatted and then we went out... he knows the area that I now live really well (Ive not lived here for 20+ years) and we went a walk, he showed me where he used to play, some old mine sites and monuments localish and we walked for bloody miles. It was fun, peaceful and just nice. Then we were walking back and ran into my sisters friends - who also know Mr Snog Honestly, we cant go anywhere but we run into someone who knows one or both of us!

We walked to a local dam and up a (smallish) hill. Not planned but was lovely. Then went for dinner together. I left him at mine while I popped to see my family for birthday cake, had a laugh with them, then came home to some food cooked for me (I wasnt hungry) but he ate it.

When MrSnog is nice he is VERY nice. He's gone to work now, Im finally packed for my holiday and I leave in a few hours for 10 days.

Happy Dating everyone. I might be hovering near the smitten bench with Mr Snog - but dont tell him that!

I am not sure how I would react to white jeans on a date. I think the guys I have been on first dates with usually wear dark jeans and a shirt. Not really noticed tbh... I think I was only shocked when I turned up to a nice bar in London and the guy was in shorts and trainers.