Lets have a bit of Summer Lovin' - Dating Thread 133!

[Jaxinthebox]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Happy Saturday daters! So how was all the first dates?

eskimo stop checking insta and talk to this guy! You know its just talking...

Mrsnog and I went down to my local pub and had a great night. I know the owners, worked with the woman years ago and the man knew my Dad and of course Mrsnog and the owner, well they know lots of mutual people.

So my ex colleague asked if he was my bf and I didnt know what to say, so I just said yes. Oh!

I think we are more than FWB - we go out, we date, we sleep together, we laugh, chat and all the coupley stuff but do I trust him? not sure. Im away for 10 days and while I dont think he would do anything stupid, his reputation precedes him...

Help! Woke up this morning to a message from someone I am chatting to on match asking me out. I haven't dated since I separated from husband and I'm petrified. He's my favourite of all the people I am talking to, very articulate over message.
I didn't expect to see anyone I actually wanted to get to know so quickly....must chill the 'f' out! What's the usual protocol for these situations?!

jax remind me of Mr Snog's reputation? It does sound like you are more than FWB. I think there can be a fine line between FWB and being a couple. From my experience, men often don't want to commit to anything too early, so FWB keeps it nice and casual and easy to get out of. Maybe it's time you talked about whether or not you are actually bf/gf.

Regina you sound like me! It usually scares me rigid when someone suggests actually meeting. I do like to chat a bit first. That said, meeting quite soon is a good thing or you build up a picture of the online person, but then can end up disappointed when you do meet. At least it's the one you really like! The top tip I've had from this thread is meet for coffee first. That way it's a quick date, but allows you to get to know them.

Regina get yourself on a coffee date. You can get away quickly if you're not comfortable for any reason. Good luck!

Not even a sniff of an iron here still 🙄

Today I had a message from MrAcademic. 5 days since the last one when he said was busy and couldn't meet me. It was just a funny (haha) message, no mention of meeting. I replied and he replied quite quickly. I can't be bothered to reply just yet. I suspect I'm being breadcrumbed.

I've been chatting to Mr Music who I had a few dates with at the start of the year. We've ended up really good friends. He said some lovely things about me in his last message and suggested I behave a bit more aloof. That's where WMLB comes in, I think. Still staying away from it all for a while though.

So after a week of wiping the slate clean and going back onto Match I have 3 new irons:

MrSwanky: got chatting to a guy, seems fun and interesting. We are meeting on Monday for the first time so quite looking forward to that. The only red flag for me is that he has already started trying it on with stepping beyond the flirt chat and it's left me feeling a bit - hmmm.

MrItaly: Have a good conversation going with a guy who is my age, lives local ish - under an hour. Seems very genuine and the flow of conversation is good, so that may have potential. Has been a total gent so far too - no sleaze at all so fingers crossed!

MrRobot - final chat I have going at the moment is a guy who has some sort of crazy job where he works with robotics so absolutley fascinating. Conversation flow is good and not a sniff of bad behaviour either.

I've had lots of other chats which usually descend into the sext chat which I am not looking for at all..... also find the quicker they move to that they are usually just looking for one thing. 🤣😂

tom
Mrsnog - Met him on a night out, he was the first person I kissed/slept with since my marriage ended. I liked him but he was a bit too 'bad boy' for me. And I really didnt think I would see him again. Lo and behold I met him the next week and we have sort of been together on and off since March I think.

He makes me laugh, we have loads of fun, he's down to earth, has lived one hellova life and is generally a good guy - but the bad boy lurks beneath the surface. He retreats to his man cave once he opens up, which I have now realised. I think we are used to each other now though... will see what tonight brings.

He was up and away to work at 6.30 this morning so will probably see him later.

Who knows? Think Im just going with the flow on this one for now as I cant be arsed with OLD, but am dating sort of.

jax it sounds to me like you are keeping both feet firmly on the ground with him, which is good. It's difficult when you know he's a bad boy, but if things are going well and you're happy then just see what happens.

It sounds nice and casual and if that's what you want, then just stick with it. I'd love something like that. My friend calls it a "f*ck buddy plus".

pudding I did what you said, we had a really lovely evening, four hours went by in a flash, beautiful restaurant and walk afterwards. got into his car and chatted for a little while. I so wanted him to kiss me, no way I was going to kiss him outside my parents house (that's where I am staying at the moment)
In the end I just said, " I think you should give me a kiss"
He said " Okay, I don't have to be asked twice " lol and we had a nice gentle little kiss which was just enough for me.
I am seeing him again tomorrow so fingers crossed we have a nice evening again. He really is lovely, Just what I needed and fingers crossed he stays that way

tom . my feet are firmly on the ground with him. FBP!

lost . that sounds great!

Date 3 with Mr DiamondMine tomorrow. He was really keen when arranging it and said he can't wait. I'm looking forward to it too

Mr Computer blotted his copybook unfortunately. Disappointing as the messaging was so easy and funny but he started repeatedly getting sext-y despite me being very clear that I don't do that. I told him 4 times but he kept doing it so I told him thanks for the non-sex chat but I'm done, I'm not going to engage any more (and I haven't). He was then very apologetic but too late - it was only after he realised that I really was exiting the conversation; I don't tolerate having my boundaries ignored.

Well my date was not good. He was dull, rude, arrogant and left at 10 because he needed to do his laundry He sat there yawning (within the first half hour when we were chatting fairly well) without even covering his mouth or apologising and was biting his nails. Not just a little nibble. He worked his way through a few fingers. And he was texting his mum. He's 47! He was rude about his parents and his young children, he had nothing nice to say about anything or anyone and didn't even say I looked nice. I text him within ten minutes of him leaving to say thanks but no thanks and wished him luck in finding someone. Then blocked and deleted as I figured he'd be the type to get nasty.

LiteraryDevil wow, so sorry to hear you didn't have a great date.... but he sounds like the type to be single forever behaving like that. Talk about lack of social skills or what!

Vet I am in awe of you. I'm so glad you called him out on the sext chat.... so many try it on really early. I'd never really thought about it in a way of having boundaries ignored but you are so right. Well hope he stops and thinks next time he decides to do that again! X

hi i’d Like to join you
I started OLD about 3 weeks ago

Tomhardy I may have had a similar situation
Met a guy - Mr Journalist: Great 1st date. 2nd date it was clear we had chemistry and I was quite forward we kissed and hugged a lot. 3rd date he said I was too forward and he struggles with intimacy and doesn’t like it when women are forward and said he’d prefer to be friends. I’m up for that as we got on great and I don’t have any single friends as everyone in my life is married. What did you mean with WLMB?

I meant WMLB !

Just got it. Why Men Like Bitches ? 🙄

Vixen he had a stunning lack of self awareness but is genuinely baffled at being single. One of his messages said he didn't expect to still be single after all this time (about 9 months) and we both discussed the dating site and how we didn't like how it's run. I asked what he didn't like and he said "The site, the app, the dates, the women!" which made me a bit but as was over a text I couldn't detect tone so gave him the benefit of the doubt. He will indeed be single for life with the way he is going. He had such a busy life too. With his job with flexible hours, his two kids he only has 3 nights a week, his dogs and of course his laundry commitments

apple the book is great and worth a read. That said, Google it as you can easily find lists of the best principles from it. I'm very tactile, and after a drink or two, I know I can be quite forward. But it takes two! The book does suggest holding back though. And I know I need to. I'm at an age where I figure I shouldn't need to play games, but I guess we do....good luck with OLD. This thread is such a great help.

literary it sounds like a very lucky escape there. He seems immensely dull. You had reservations anyway before you met with regards to the messaging. Time to move on and find someone else.

Vet I loathe the sex chat and refuse to engage in it, unless we have met and there is a spark. Well done on calling him out on it though. Shame as you got on so well, you said he was really funny. But so many of them just seem to want that, don't they?

Mr Academic has been quite chatty, for him. Don't get me wrong, not long responses, but he has responded quite quickly to my messages over the last day, after he finally got in touch after 5 days! I held off all day to reply to one he sent at lunch yesterday. I replied about 9.30 last night and he replied at 8am today, which is early for him. I actually can't be bothered to reply. The messages are just banter. He declined my invite out last week, so I am going to sit and wait till he suggests meeting again. Frankly though, I know I deserve better, and someone who actually seems keen to meet. I'm still avoiding OLD though as I just cannot be bothered!

morning! Its my birthday and Mr snog is coming over to make me breakfast...

Im sorry your date was awful literary 100% lucky escape, he sounds like an eejit. He will be single for a long time with that attitude.

And Im a tactile person, I want to be hugged and kissed, it takes 2 so for him to say that after doing it... nope, Id bin him off.
you are the prize! Dont lower your standards for anyone.

Vixen Tom thanks, it is a shame about Mr Computer, he gave great WhatsApp to begin with It was just too much of a red flag to me that he repeatedly ignored me telling him that I don't want to engage in sex chat. It might seem like a minor thing, as he said 'it's just messages' but it doesn't bode well for major things in the future. I've blocked and deleted him as he kept messaging me after I told him to stop - again with the not hearing me. It all just sets a bad precedent for me allowing my feelings to be disregarded and fuck that quite frankly.

Mr DM on the other hand, is a perfect gent, although I'm hoping a bit less so today - one of us is going to have to make the first move!

Happy birthday Jax!

Jax- Happy Birthday to you!! We are birthday twins it is my birthday too although no sexy hot man to come and make me breakfast, just a cat purring next to my ear to wake me up and a slab of chocolate cake for breakfast 🤣😂

Xx

AppleJack i have read the book cover to cover and occasionally go back into it if I need to, I found it incredibly empowering and it puts you in a great mindset for 1) not taking any shit and 2) understanding that you ARE worthy of someone who wants to go the extra mile for you. Never settle darling x

X

Happy birthday Jax!