Lets have a bit of Summer Lovin' - Dating Thread 133!

[Jaxinthebox]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

I did this with my last one Sky! He was really needy and even on date one I felt claustrophobic! Just didn't have the heart to say no... in the end he 'dumped' me because it took me over 6 hours to reply to his text... while I was at work!!!

Tom, no one needs a scummy house boyfriend. You're so much better than that!

Mr Tinder has messaged me as if nothing has happened
I haven’t replied as I’m off to work in a bit and I can’t be dealing with the back lash of what I want to write.

Thanks love and looking it was awful! Clearly hadn't seen cleaning fluid or a duster for years . Thank God I was pissed and didn't pay full attention to the bedsheets!!

love I'd hold off on replying if I were you. How can he think nothing is wrong? You clearly need to spell it out to him. However, when you're ready, don't feel compelled to reply quickly. What do you plan to say? Are you ending it?

I used to be on this thread a while back but decided to take a break from any sort of dating whatsoever. Anyway I'm back and ready for the ups and downs of OLD.

I've worked on my mental health and issues so I feel way more refreshed and relaxed about OLD. Hopefully I can spot the weirdos quicker this time they always seem to be on the dating websites and listen to my gut feeling more.

So not to waste any time I jumped straight back onto POF. I got a message from a nice looking guy, his profile actually had proper sentences (always a plus) and he seemed interesting. We had a few lengthy messages to and fro each other and we met for coffee on Saturday. It went well and I felt there was a spark . He seems a touch reserved though which I think is part of his personality so I'm going to see how it goes. We're arranging to meet for dinner sometime this week. I'm not going to overinvest as I think that was my problem last time and it probably showed so I'm cool, calm and collected this time around. I'm going to call him MrReserved.

Looking forward to sharing this OLD journey with you all.

Hello all
So I have a second date with Mr Beard on Wednesday. We both works shifts and so we have had to make a breakfast date lol ... But we have all morning until lunchtime so hopefully if the sun is shining we can have a nice morning.
I still have two other irons chatting to me, no dates fixed yet because I'm not good at multiple dating.
Viewing some places later this week so I am excited about finding myself a new home at last!
How is everyone doing ?

Tom I have just sent him a long message, he sent me a message saying ‘missing you’, i left it until I got home from work and have now let it all out, I have told him that I am really pissed off after the weekend and I feel like he has come into my home and disrespected the way I do things, that I’m not happy that he lets his dog continuessly try and shag my dog, that he doesn’t care that my cat won’t come in the house and I have told him that in my house dogs do not go upstairs (only the cat goes upstairs). Also told him I am angry about the love bite and him marking his territory.
He’s at work tonight so I’m not expecting a reply for a while, he will probably read it at some point during the night, I don’t know what to expect back, I’m not sure I really care right now

Why do I atract needy cocklodgers? I’m beginning to wonder if this is the reason most of these men are single, I have dated so many men and most have been the same (or married). I’m starting to believe that I’m not going to find what I want with OLD and I should just settle with being single, hopefully one day I will bump into Mr right in Tescos or somewhere.

I haven’t ended it as such but probably by my amount of moaning at various things it will probably be over.

Love well done for being so honest with him. From what you've said before, I imagine he'll apologise and then act as if nothing is wrong. Maybe you should just consider ending it? As someone said earlier, if he's like this now, imagine what it'll be like further down the line? His behaviour won't be new. This will be what he has been like for a long time, so he's unlikely to change.

I'm with you in thinking I'll never find anyone on OLD. I've met some nice people. But they're the ones I'm not attracted too. And everyone always seems a bit broken in one way or another. That's why I'm staying well away from it all for a while. I'm making more of an effort with my real life friends. I find it much more rewarding spending more time with my friend's than sitting around waiting for message from men I don't really know.

love can I just say - give yourself a HUGE pat on the back for calling him out on his behaviour and telling him how you expect him to behave. This is EXACTLY what you should be doing.

Raise your standards and the universe will meet you there..... you are worth so much more than someone who disrespects you in your home.

You go girl x

love well done for saying that. I hope he realises what he is about to lose unless he changes his behaviour.

TomHardy I agree with your comment about everyone seeming to be a bit broken.
I've hidden my profiles, again, because of too many broken promises and too many weird messages.

I agree OLD is a waste of time seriously how many success stories do you read on here?
Next to none.

It’s a support thread for people who are doing online dating. People who are doing it, post on here. People who have successfully met someone stop posting. And the ones who post on here are people who generally have had trouble with online dating, or need confidence, otherwise they wouldn’t have sought out a support thread.

I know at least half a dozen former thread members who are either married to or living with someone they met online. There are probably dozens more that met someone but didn’t post about it.

It’s a numbers game, after all.

I'm still seeing Mr Cute and he seems like a regular broke, wouldn't be every woman's cup of tea, but it's a good experience so far. I'm staying on the thread as don't trust this yet. I have dated through OLD for coming up to 2 years and have made new friends along the way so I think it's a good option to meet singles.

isn’t it also a support thread for people dating in general? thats what i took it to be, not just OLD

i dont know if its the way im wired, but id much rather meet someone organically, in real life. ive met 1 person OLD who im still friends with, but the rest have all been a bit odd in one way or another. ive never particularly enjoyed OLD. i find it weird, its like people selling themselves online and you’re flipping through a catalogue.

maybe we should have a weekend of approaching people IRL flirting with strangers, chatting to people in the supermarket/coffee shop. what if some people put the time and effort from OLD into real life?

Oh of course it is esk1mo, but the majority of the discussion are about OLD because that’s how most people on here get to meet new people.

We usually have kids and often have been through the breakdown of a significant relationship, our social circles tend to be other parents, without so many single friends to socialise with.

So for many of us, OLD is the only game in town..

I’d rather meet someone in real life too, but one can only spend so long hanging around the grocery aisle of the supermarket, squeezing avocados and eyeing up strangers, before you’re politely asked to leave by Security.

Plus, this weekend I’m 6000 miles from home, traveling for work, so not much point for me flirting with anyone as I’m not a fan of long distance relationships..

morning daters! So mrsnog is back on the scene, he came round last night to see how I was (Im ill, got antibiotics, sinus/ear infection) and stayed over. Its so easy with him but still not bf material. lol

Still keeping my options open. Still chatting to mrbooks he is more my type but no date agreed yet... so will see how we go. Im in no rush, Im off on holiday soon so will have a break from OLD and dating in general.

Message from Mr Tinder this morning, he hasn’t apologised as such, he has said that he can work on the problems but he doesn’t seem to understand . He seems to think my cat will get used to his dog (being barked at and chased out of your own garden isn’t going to make my cat get used to it) and he thinks his dog with stop trying to shag my dog now she’s no longer in season. He doesn’t seem to understand that I don’t want his dog here upsetting my pets. The only thing he seems to be trying to sort out is the issue with his snoring which isn’t really the main problem (I just mentioned that I wasn’t happy sharing my bed with his dog and him snoring as I couldn’t move).

I have sent him a simple message back saying ‘the snoring isn’t really the issue here’ and have told him I’m going out for the day to clear my head.

There’s just way too many issues and I can’t see it working unless he realises what the issues actually are. Feeling pretty frustrated as I thought my message was clear but obviously not.

I've been doing OLD for just over 4 months now and I follow this thread . Very grateful for tips that I have picked up on here and how to approach things . I have had several first dates which seemed to go amazingly well and they talked about meeting again but then nothing materialised . I have had one twat who called to speak to me then arranged a date then ghosted me . I had one that went to a couple of dates but I just didn't feel anything for him - think he wanted to have a GF but feelings were probably the same as me - no spark . The benefits of all of this is that it is making me realise what I do and do not want from a relationship or if I even want one at all ! Someone talking upthread about people having "issues" - well I think that is just life and the older you get , the more issues there are . lovemusic33 I don't think you are going to get much joy there . Your message will only be clear when you say sorry but no .

I agree love you are going to have to actually spell it out to him and make it clear what you are not happy with. It doesn't seem like he is really understanding the issue. Just catching up as I lost my login details and had to create a new account hence the slightly different name.

Hi All. Caught up. Seems a lot of us are in the same canoe at present...!

Love is it really worth all this angst so soon? You've practically only just met him and should still be in the nice-dates getting-to-know-you warm and fuzzy stage; it shouldn't be this hard so soon (or at all!). If he's frustrating and annoying you with his behaviour at this stage it's not a good sign - you can't really fundamentally change someone and if you don't get on then you don't get on. It's still very early days but he seems to have skipped most of the dating stage and gone straight to the staying over/staying in coupled-up bit but it doesn't seem like you're actually compatible as a couple. Forgetting the other issues, I couldn't be with someone whose dog was going to harass mine either!

I have a date with Mr DiamondMine this evening - only about 2 months after the last one. He's still suffering with his back so the conversation could be interesting depending on how many painkillers he's had to take I had a date arranged with Mr French for last night but I cancelled it, he was a bit arsey when we were deciding where to meet and it didn't sit well with me so after thinking about it I told him I wouldn't be going.

Brick wall here. A friend of 2 years suggested we see each other as we're both single but we don't fancy each other and I'm really not his type! I just spluttered a bit and said no. Similar situation with another friend but that's a no-go as well.

I think I need to sort my life out more before I start thinking seriously about dating.