Lets have a bit of Summer Lovin' - Dating Thread 133!

[Jaxinthebox]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

All you can do is be yourself Runs if they are right for you then they will meet I guess but don't blame yourself as they don't know you so you can't take it personally, they are just cancelling on a name on a screen and a photo, not the real you.
Don't get disheartened, you come across as a bubbly positive person and I (as someone who doesn't know you from Adam!) imagine you are more suited to the speed dating/ meet up type scenarios where that can shine.
Don't let some flakey idiot online dent your confidence, just keep being you, but hugs tonight as it is hard x

Thanks ignoring but I failed miserably at the speed dating. No one ticked me.
I get what you're saying about them cancelling a "name". But all I seem to have had over the last couple of years are blokes who have lied to me in varying degrees. So it's hard not to blame myself and wonder where I'm going wrong.

love a few things you've said about mr tinder have got me a bit 😐 But everything you said about him turns me off. You don't sound like you're enjoying it. I think you need some space and think about what you really want.

Thanks ignoring. I think he may be MIA now... chatting earlier but now online and nothing. Another one bites the dust.

Runs I hear you! I don't tend to get past a first date! I'm financially stable, good job, independent, reasonable looking (I think?!)

I think men are permanently looking for the next best thing and internet dating allows that.

I have no idea how anyone settles down any more past mid 30s. I honestly think I'll be single forever. And no matter how many times I tell my friends I'm happy like that, I'm not!

looking I think you are exactly right. Men are so often looking for the next best thing.
Before internet dating, you met someone and they quickly got to really know you as you actually met up or spoke on the phone.
Online it's just a face and some chat. In my experience, many of them are looking for sex chat and that's something I won't do. So I've frequently chatted to people on line, thought we got on only for them to disappear. It happened in real life too. One great first date, then nothing, presumably because someone more interesting came along. Its hard to deal with, but I'm getting hardened to it now and just tell myself they're not the one for me.
I think OLD is like a sweet shop for many. So much choice, you can't stop at one. I am sure there are some decent, genuine people online too, you just have to search hard.

Love I have been seeing Mr Cute for a month and we have only slept overnight together once. Had plenty of fun in bed, been out for walks and meals, but regularly sleeping overnight isn't needed early on. Put your foot down on that one, then as he's not at yours overnight the next morning, you can enjoy your hobbies.

I'm in danger territory, Mr Cute is doing really well at being potential BF material and I am doubting myself. Wondering why he likes me and hoping I don't screw it up.

choc he likes you because you’re a catch dont overthink it, enjoy it!

runs sorry your dates cancelled, that is really bizarre. any chance it was just some weirdo with several different profiles?

um so i havent been dating for over a month and have no online profiles. just wanted time to enjoy my life and not actively search for someone IYKWIM. there is a cute guy at my gym who i admire from afar. never spoke to him or anything.

...this morning i go on instagram to see he has viewed my story i didnt even know he knew my name! we’re strangers. so he must have done some digging, thats a good thing right? he never added me, but he knows you can see who viewed your story, so i wonder if he was trying to get my attention.

im enjoying it though, little glances across the weights. i wasnt sure if he found me attractive, but i noticed that he always leaves when i do!

its nice not to have to sift through online profiles, i genuinely cant tell from pictures if i fancy someone so i always found OLD difficult because id never swipe yes on anyone. if i did get talking to someone, i instantly friendzoned them and never wanted to meet because ive never seen them so could never get excited.

anyway, thats where im at.

Thanks esk1mo, is your gym broke the one that you liked for a while but a bit younger?

Why not search for him on Instagram and FB, perhaps send him a "hi, I saw you looked at my story and think yours is interesting too" message?

choc yeah thats him! i usually see him on mondays , so ill see what hes like with me tomorrow.

his page is set to private so cant see anything on his

One of my cancelled dates got back in touch last night. His reasons seem genuine. We talked on the phone and got on well. However, he told me something about himself that's not obvious from his photos. And he said it's put a lot of women off in the past when they've met him.
Had I known it would've stopped me from messaging him. Which leaves me with a problem because he wants to meet later this week and so far I like him but this could be a deal breaker.

Eskimo you can see who's viewed your story on Instagram?? Shit! I've been instastalking an ex and Mr Hipster 😯😯😯😯
Exciting for you though - a RL iron!

love I think Mr Tinder is a cocklodger tbh. He's got his feet under the table waaaaaaay too soon. It seems to make you uncomfortable too, so it's got to be a 'see ya'?

runs lots of flakey guys? You don't want them anyway!!! I bet it's nothing you've done at all, just a bad run of flakes.

I've got a date in 2 hours, he flaked on me on Friday - said he was ill, but has kept in contact and has rearranged, so he's got a 2nd chance!
And he's coming to my town, so he's making an effort. Mr Red i think us his name.

I'm getting a bit tired of the whole First Date thing, it's such an effort making sure I've done my hair properly, wearing the 'right clothes' for the date, shaving everything, self tan, the same small talk over and over. If Mr Red is no go, I need a break! So I can sit in my joggers with no makeup and relaaaax!!

runs is it a proper deal breaker? If so, don't waste your time. Intrigued what it is though, I'm bloody nosey 😚

puddding, I deffently need time to to think and I’m making sure I get that (by not contacting him), if he asks to come over I will say ‘no’.

choc, it is way too soon for me, it’s almost like we have skipped the fun dating stage and moved to the full blown relationship. We have also got to the stage where we/he are more relaxed and the bad habits and annoying traits are starting to show. I miss doing my own thing and it’s not as though he’s making up for that as he spends most of the day sleeping (at the time of day I am usually out doing things).

sky have messaged you. See what you think

Runs it totally depends on how big an issue this thing is for you? Would it hurt to meet for a coffee anyway? (Obviously I don't know what it is) but he sounds like he's made an effort to stay in touch after canceling.
It's a tricky situation but it must be hard on him too.

Springtime I'm going to meet him later this week. It's obviously been an issue for him in the past as he said he's met women who didn't want to see him again because of it.
All I'll say is it affects his physical appearance. How bad it is I won't know until we meet. Otherwise he seems like a genuinely nice guy.
I don't want to appear shallow, judging people on how they look but there's more to it than just the way he looks.

Nothing more annoying than your ex walking into the coffee shop while you're waiting for a first date 🙊 I haven't seen him for 6 months either!!!

Runs I guess all you can do is go into the date the same as all others, an open mind and zero expectations.

sky i hope it wasnt the ex you’ve been instastalking

Had a couple of OLDs here. One of them seemed promising and we saw each other for a few weeks but I wasn't prepared for the emotional requirements (needyness)

Don't have the will to go back to OLD at the moment, can't bear the thought of having to trawl through the pages at the moment.

I'm 47, think I may end up being single forever. Which is an interesting thought.

I've been reading/lurking a while and have to say I love this thread! Thank you!
Am single again after the end of 13 year relationship (previously divorced) and dating again at my age (50s!) is a complete unknown and mystery! I've dipped my toe into OLD - but even that has changed from 14 years back when I did it then!
Braved a couple of dates, first was meh second was woah! How come at my age I've turned into a giddy teenager who's over analysing and obsessed with my mobile!??

So I think me and Mr Academic are done. I'd heard nothing since Thursday, not unusual for him. Anyway I messaged today and suggested going out Wednesday evening and he can't as he is already busy. I replied "no worries" and that was it. He didn't suggest another day. I figure he's just not interested. It's ok really. He was nice. We got on well. Moose burgers were good. But there were a few things that irritated me and his home was quite scummy, which I didn't like. I'm in the middle of mediation so no energy for OLD at all. Maybe in a few months. Onwards and upwards...

Eskimo it was another ex 😳 who actually knows the date from today. I was praying the date was gonna be late!!
The date was great, really really lovely guy. But absolutely no spark. I wish there was. Wtf is wrong with me?!!! I also did that very polite thing of agreeing with him when he said he'd like to see me again 'oh yes that would be lovely, I had a great time' WHY?? Why do I do that?! Now I have to let him down gently. I'm such a dingbat!

Tom sorry it didn’t work out with Mr Academic, at least the MB where good but scummy house not so good.

sky I have a habit of agreeing to a 2nd date, it’s hard when they put you in the spot and ask you to your face, it’s not easy to say ‘no thanks, your not really my type’.