Lets have a bit of Summer Lovin' - Dating Thread 133!

[Jaxinthebox]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Third - hugs from afar. Look after yourself xx

Some good news.. not dating but my house has sold! Please pray for me guys that it doesn’t fall through again. I can finally I’ve from my past and get my own place after living with my parents for months age 43!!
I still cant decide where to live but I will get my cat back and have my own front door again.. I need this so much

Third sorry for your news , it is lovely that Mr Wow can be a support afterwards.

Lost great news, time to celebrate and look forward to a new chapter in your life.

Love have you said clearly to Mr Tinder that if you were serious and in a ltr that you couldn't be with a biker?

I'm in a weird place right now and it's really distracting. My exH was really controlling. I'm fairly NC, but he still gets horrible messages to me through Dcs just heard a new one. It's hard to start again when I feel disassociated a lot of the time. The outer me smiles and sees positives and the inner me is fed up that my exH can still put me down. Going off to read baggage reclaimed website to strengthen up.

choc I have told him that I don’t like bikes, that I have seen some horrible accidents and lost people to accidents, I don’t think anything I say will change his mind. I can’t really say too much too him, he just tells me that he is careful and sensible but the scars on his body say otherwise.
Sorry to her your getting abuse from your ex, it’s wrong that he does this through the kids but just think ‘thank god your not with him anymore’, every time I clash with ex I just remember how lucky I am that he no longer lives with me.

choc I get like that, my ex is passive aggressive a lot of the time and its a total headfuck, we both need each other in a way for child care arrangements and the kids are happy with our arrangements so I don;t want to rock the boat more. But it would be so much easier if I were NC. Its not easy, sometimes I just need a few days peace and then I am ok again. It irritates me he can still push my buttons. But only we are responsible for how it makes us feel. I think of Batfink when I see him, with my wings of steeeeeel!

lost fingers corssed it all goes through. I can't wait till our house is finally sold, and I have the kets to my new house :)

Thanks love and pudding, it's so unnecessary for exes to be horrible. Like you say better off out of it. I am going to try to focus on what is happening now, but underneath it's hard not to wish he got what is due to him.

Swiped tonight. Yawn. Sorry I've had a couple of ales. Anyone know of any guys out there with a nice personality

OMD I just used the thread.
Covers self in ash
*poss fag ash

*dated

morning everyone well I think MrFrench and I are done! Lust has gone and I see a few red flags, so got my friend to do some investigating. FFS he was so nice - well appeared to be. Feel like an eejit - but lesson learned and thankfully I am thick skinned.

What sort of investigating? That sounds secret squirrel! It's a shame if it hasn't worked out, but trust your instincts

lobster there were a few things that when we chatted I thought hmm about - but didnt push it or probe too much.

Would just like to say I have a stinking cough/feels like flu that seems to have come on quite suddenly yesterday afternoon. I had popped to my friends to do some work with her dog yesterday morning then we were chatting afterwards about life and OLD and general chit chat.

Anywayfriend rejoined OLD and we were looking at her messages... so I asked her to check out his profile and send a message as mrfrench hadnt hid his, despite the 'exclusive' chat from him.

He replied last night and lets just say she got the same sort of answers as I had got. So he is a player, is keeping his options open and that is a bit shit. Not calling him out on it yet but some things are adding up now.

And I am the prize and I wont put up with any shit. Equally it has made me wary again.

How long has it been? (I only recently jumped on this thread so you pick up stories in due course.) You seem to have a good attitude towards it and at least you know.

Lemsip for you

jax that is just pants. However, it's good that you discovered this now. Isn't it funny though, you can have these gut feelings and concerns and they often do play out.

I'd be interested to see what happens if your friend messages him again. You are definitely better off without him. What an idiot.

Well me and my one and only OLD are done too! Haven't heard from him in 4 days. I initiated chat straight after the date, then a few days after I again initiated chat. Nothing since so my pride won't let me yet again text! I went onto POF last night and lo and behold there he is online!!!

Feel so disappointed as mutual friends had told me what a nice guy he is!!! Felt safe with him due to that if you know what I mean? Also he's one of only very few who lives in the same town as me. Not much point even replying to those who live miles away! We were born within days of each other too so I felt that was nice as we shared the same generational things....... all in all he was a good prospect in my view!

Just felt he must've found me unattractive? Boring? Oh I don't know!!! I'm rambling as want to get it all off my chest!!! Lol. Keep trying to focus on negatives! I work in emergency services so exciting job, at work I'm really confident (read: gobshite hahahaha) and I work with loads of lovely men. (All married or partnered up booooo) He has worked in a factory since he was 16 and he doesn't drive!!!! Just come out of a 23 year marriage, his wife told him she loved him like a brother not a husband. So hey IM A CATCH aren't I?!!!!

I think this happens far too much Jax. Similar happened to me. Mr French is not worth you!

Mr Past has predictably cancelled our Wednesday date as he is 'too busy to date'. I haven't even replied to the message.

Leaves me on zero irons. This OLD is exhausting!

You're the prize Shoe. He's a waste of time!

Jax sorry to hear that. Don't blame yourself. Players are very good at what they do. They are charming and know exactly what to do and say.
I would want to confront him about his behaviour - although he's unlikely to change.

Shoe put him out of your head and get chatting to some more people.

My date last night cancelled - family problems. But is still messaging so I'm hopeful he still wants to meet.
Have a date tonight that I'm quite excited to meet.
And a coffee date tomorrow.

Hi, I am working up the courage to give online dating a go. How does pof work do you give an email or mobile number for contact?. If it's email is it best to set up a separate email just for online dating? I am very nervous of the thought of online dating but I don't think I'm going to meet anyone otherwise.

Sunflower I set up an email just for online dating. It can be daunting at first just remember that not everyone is honest so keep reading the rules on page one here. Don't involve yourself too quickly. But enjoy also.

Sunflower you need an email to set up a pof account. But users don't get to see it. Like Chocolate, I have one that I just use for OLD.
When you use pof make sure you adjust your settings (who can contact you - age, distance, with a photo etc) to suit you.
I only exchange phone numbers when I am setting up a date. Otherwise just use the app to message online.

Thank you for your help, as well as being nervous I am not very IT savvy, does the app message via your email address?

That is what is partly making me nervous as I've read stories about lack of honesty on plenty of fish and also I have had only had one relationship from age of 17 to 39.

Sunflower POF - you can either log in via the website and check if you have messages. In the settings you can choose if you want to be emailed when there is a message etc.

Or you can download the app to your phone/tablet. I've found that having the app makes you more 'visible'. More people look at your profile. With the app you can choose if you want a notification to pop up when you get a message.

Best thing is to set up a profile without worrying too much about the words or photos and possibly hide your profile. Have a look around at the settings and everything else until you are comfortable with how it works.

Good photos are essential. The words are important but many don't read them.

If you're not sure about anything - ask the thread!

jax sorry to hear about mr French,what were the red flags you picked up on?

I’m in a similar situation, fifth date - DTD a couple of times, seems like a lovely guy but part of me cannot work him out!

I’m on holiday at the mo for two weeks so 100% shouldn’t be thinking about it, for my own sanity told him I was having a mini digital detox as can’t keep losing my mind looking at my phone!!! Urgh

popple nobody works those hours without time off and the time off he had was limited time with me.
He just didnt invest enough in me.

He drank often - not a bad thing on its own, but he's a head chef and I know of the hazards of that job only too well.

Oh and he stayed on Pof and my friend and I saw him yesterday, so I got her to message him. Low and behold he replied to her last night. Despite the big exclusive chat that he initiated ages ago. So he can fuck off as far as Im concerned.

Ive already got a new iron or 2. 1 we will call Mrbooks and 2 doesnt have a name yet...

runs no point calling him out - as technically he hasnt met her or 'doneanythingwrong' so pointless. Best I can do is ghost him and leave him wondering what the hell went on.