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Original poster

DP wants us to sign a contract similar to pre-nup before mortgage?

274 replies

ConfusedGirlfriend · 22/04/2018 10:32

Hi,

Myself and my DP have been together for 3 years. He owns a flat and I currently rent. We are finally both in a financial position to buy a property together.

He has a regular job with a steady income. I am self-employed and have a 5 year old, so I will not be able to go on a joint-mortgage with the bank as I am considered high risk with a fluctuating income etc. Therefore, the mortgage will be in just his name. He is putting £60k towards the house, I am putting £25k towards the house.

Today he mentioned that he thinks the house should be all in his name and we should sign a contract that states he has put in £60k and I have put in £25k, so if we break up we will both get our respective amounts back. I was a little put out by this as he should know that in any case I would never take his money that he put in, but I can see the sensibility behind it.

However, upon speaking to my family earlier, they think this is wrong and both of our names should be on the house equally. They think that the idea of a contract doesn't make sense if we are meant to be in a committed partnership with one another. My mum in particular argued to what extent this 'contract' would extend to - when we buy furniture together, a new car, holidays?

What do you think?

OP posts:
Foreverthisyoung · 22/04/2018 10:36

You can still go on the mortgage even if you had no income as it would be joint.

Shitshitshitty · 22/04/2018 10:36

I think it's sensible of him.

Of course he's not going to make you sign a contract for holidays and stuff. Your mum is being dramatic. This is a MASSIVE amount of money and I wouldn't begrudge him the contract.

wishingiwaslucky47 · 22/04/2018 10:37

I would have thought both your names on the mortgage, but with a stipulation as to how much each person put in, so if anything was to happen, you would get back your deposit plus half of any equity in the house?

Original poster
ConfusedGirlfriend · 22/04/2018 10:37

Even if I went on the mortgage though and we got it as a joint, I think he would still want a contract drawn up as he has put more money towards the deposit.

OP posts:
Youcantflosstomonkeywrench · 22/04/2018 10:37

Did he tell you that the bank won't put you on the mortgage? That isn't necessarily true, you don't need income or steady income to be added to the mortgage, they just won't take you're income into consideration when calculating how much you can borrow.

I think he is being very under hand!

BunnyColvin · 22/04/2018 10:39

They think that the idea of a contract doesn't make sense if we are meant to be in a committed partnership with one another.

The only contract that legally reflects a committed partnership is marriage. You may not like what he's suggesting but you're not married, so he's suggesting a split based on exactly what you both put in, which in those circs, he has a right to do. Because you're not married, it's not a half and half situation, unless he chooses to make it that way.

In your position though, I wouldn't get into anything with him, because it doesn't sound like he has your back.

You should probably speak to a solicitor.

Mumsnut · 22/04/2018 10:40

I can see his logic around you each getting your deposits back. But if it comes to an acrimonious sale in a few years' time, he would be the only one entitled to the equity, surely, if his was the only name on the mortgage?

Your 'pre-nup' needs to state that you should share equally in the profits too, given that you are sharing equally in the cost (albeit that your input is disguised as food bills, utility bills, etc, cos you can't pay the mortgage directly).

Herculesupatree · 22/04/2018 10:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HappenstanceMarmite · 22/04/2018 10:41

I was a little put out by this as he should know that in any case I would never take his money that he put in

Said every well meaning ex...before they split and things got ugly 🙄

My daughter and her boyfriend just bought a flat together. He put up the deposit as she is current at university so no income just now. They will both pay half the month mortgage. They have drawn up a contract which states that, should they split, his deposit is ring-fenced before splitting any equity 50/50. This was her idea as she wanted him to feel secure and felt it was fair. I agree with her.

WhereIsBlueRabbit · 22/04/2018 10:41

I would say the property should be in both names but with you owning it as tenants in common, rather than joint tenants, and with a declaration of trust drawn up stipulating who has put in what, eg that in the event of a split, x has put in £60k, y has put in 25k and any other equity is to be divided equally/in the following proportions.

That is not unreasonable.

You not having your name on the property despite putting £25k towards it: massively unreasonable.

Emboo19 · 22/04/2018 10:41

If he’s the only one named on the mortgage then the house is going to be just in his name, isn’t? So him putting a contract in place to say you’ve contributed £25k would at least be protecting your deposit.
What will happen wothpaying the mortgage though? If you’re paying towardsit but your names not on it, would you be entitled to anything more than your deposit?

Have you been to the bank and they’ve actually said you can’t be on the mortgage? When my ex was buying, I could have been on his and I wasn’t working at all at the time.

wishingiwaslucky47 · 22/04/2018 10:41

To be honest if I was putting in a lot more money I would want something drawn up to say how much I put in, but I would definitely never ask for my partner not to be noted on the mortgage especially as they were putting in a large deposit and you are putting in a large deposit £25,000 is not a small amount of money.

I can see why he wants something stating how much each of you put in, but I can see why your a bit cautious about not being on the mortgage.

Dancingmonkey87 · 22/04/2018 10:42

I don’t see the problem op he’s right to protect his assets especially as his deposit is more than double the amount your contributing to the the house. My friend had a solicitor letter stating how much deposit to put in the house and therefore when she did split from her ex she was awarded what was rightfully hers.

Original poster
ConfusedGirlfriend · 22/04/2018 10:42

In your position though, I wouldn't get into anything with him, because it doesn't sound like he has your back.

That is how I feel. The rational, sensible side can understand where he is coming from to protect himself but the emotional side of me feels this is wrong. He has been with me since my son was 2, we behave like a family, have discussed marriage and children together. Hence why I was a put out when he mentioned it as we have always been very 50/50 with one another.

OP posts:
mintbiscuit · 22/04/2018 10:43

Does your partner understand that this agreement may become void if you go onto having children and then split? Circumstances do change and most courts would take wider financial arrangements and assets into account when deciding on fairest settlement.

MarthasGinYard · 22/04/2018 10:43

What Wishing said

TenGinBottles · 22/04/2018 10:43

I'm on our mortgage and was a pregnant student when we bought. There was no issue with my being on it, but obviously they didn't consider any earning from me.

Who is he expecting to pay the mortgage repayments?
How do you sort your other finances and bills?
Will he be exclusively responsible for the mortgage payments and bills that come with the house (building insurance, rates, phone connection, water connection etc) and then split the rest (water usage, food, contents insurance etc) 50:50 ? Or does he want you to contribute to the repayments and house bills?

Lookatyourwatchnow · 22/04/2018 10:44

I would never put money into a house that I wasn't named on the mortgage for. Never.

0hCrepe · 22/04/2018 10:44

I think it’s ok but think of it in terms of protecting your assets too.
So you would earn back your 25k plus a share of any profit made if you have to sell in future commensurate with the amount you pay into the mortgage, so if you contribute equally to the mortgage you get 50% of the profit after the mortgage has been paid off, if house value has gone up when you sell it, plus your original 25k.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 22/04/2018 10:44

The whole thing stinks to high heaven and could also leave you well in the lurch financially in the event you separated.

Re your comment:-
"I am self-employed and have a 5 year old, so I will not be able to go on a joint-mortgage with the bank as I am considered high risk with a fluctuating income etc. Therefore, the mortgage will be in just his name".

Really?. Who told you that; your partner or the bank themselves?. You being S/E is not a barrier to being named on a mortgage or title deeds.

It gives him the right to throw both you and your child out in the event of any split because he is solely named on his mortgage. Presumably as well he needs "your" 25K to buy this property that he will own in the first place. Why would you put that money into his solely owned property?. It sounds like he is more interested in him, his money and his own self interest rather than seeing this as joint with you.

What this man is proposing here benefits him primarily and is not at all equal. I would certainly seek your own independent legal advice on this matter before doing anything else.

What has this man also said, if anything, about marriage?. Is this also in your future plans?.

DelphiniumBlue · 22/04/2018 10:45

Legally, you'd need to be on the mortgage and the deeds, or neither. You could and should have a trust deed drawn up if you are contributing in any way, either deposit or monthly payment.

MarthasGinYard · 22/04/2018 10:45

It's the title deeds you need to be on.

BunnyColvin · 22/04/2018 10:45

He's keeping his options open Confused . If you pushed him on marriage right now, he wouldn't go for it. Just be very careful and protect yourself. He's saying your 50/50 because ultimately he wants to make sure his '50/50' will be safeguarded, even though it's probably going to be 90/10 in his favour!

Is there a chance you could save towards buying your own asset ultimately?

BunnyColvin · 22/04/2018 10:46

you're

Bekabeech · 22/04/2018 10:46

The problem if you do as he says is that if you break up, if only his name is on the deeds and mortgage, then he can make you and your DS homeless overnight. You will have less rights than a lodger or tenant. And might have to go through very expensive legal proceedings to get even your share of the deposit back.

This is a very dangerous situation - and I would strongly advise you not to go ahead.