In your 50s and lost your way anyone?

[DoinItForTheKids]

Don't know whether this is the right place to post this - there doesn't appear to be an obvious section for sad 51 year old women so I'm going in the 'relationships: with yourself' direction on here and hope it's ok here.

I don't know if anyone watched the programme with Susannah Constantine, Les Dennis, Tameka Empson and Miles Jupp all getting fit? Susannah and Trinny used to help women who'd 'lost their way' on their TV programme (used to love that!) and they'd often have some lady in her 50s who'd gone astray and I used to think "god how pathetic (ha!! karma), I'll never do that". And Susannah herself said that she knew how to help other women but she couldn't help herself (which doesn't fill me with hope!!).

I seem to have arrived at a point where I just look like a sack of shit and yet, I can't stop eating constantly in the evenings - I honestly don't know what to do, I've no interest in exercising. No, that's not true, I am interested, but I just cannot get motivated to do it. I used to run but I don't know whether it's menopause or not but got fed up with my x2 a week 5 k runs because I never ever get the endorphin hit any more, it just doesn't happen! I used to go to Parkrun which on the one hand I loved, but it was just another exercise in being on my own and I stopped going.

I've got things to do in the house which I've now saved up for most of them, and yet I'm in stasis - I could have organised an electrician weeks ago but I seem like a rabbit caught in the headlights, I can't seem to get going.

I just don't know whether to focus on me, my job/career, the house, the garden.

I just do not know how to move forward or what to move forward with - idiotic isn't it! I'm generally totally fed up with myself. My hopes seem to rest on winning the lottery and being able to get a face lift, tummy tuck and liposuction - that would make me happy and get me going. But since that's not going to happen....

We downsized, paid off the mortgage, buggered off to the med on the boat. Somehow life seems better when the sun shines and you've got a tan. You can change things, but it takes a plan. Lots of folk out here with a boat and not much money to spend. An awful lot of single blokes too lol

I kind of feel ok, and have a decent routine. But it just kind of feels like passing time?

Hi everybody, I’m 57 and suddenly on my own as discovered my H was cheating on me. I can relate to what you’re all saying.

Re HRT please read about Professor Stud’s treatment regimens on the forum Menapause matters. It might make you feel more informed and therefore empowered when you see your GP. HRT has really helped especially with my sleep and mood.

Another tip, Cloud 9 Magical potion is brilliant for frizzy hair. You spray it onto your wet hair and it dries much quicker too.

Have you thought about some other forms of exercise? I never ever, ever, ever did excercise, other than riding and looking after horses. I was feeling fat, frumpy and depressed, struggling to get over my partner being unfaithul to me, so started attending a cardio kick boxing class. I liked it so much I started doing proper kickboxing. I love it, it is such a thrill, stress relieving, good for the brain and self esteem. I come home from each session literally buzzing I have taken 3 belts and hope to enter my first competition soon. I have met a whole new group of people, all ages and backgrounds. My figure is the best it's been since I was 21, my boobs have even perked up a bit! Why not try something completely new too.

The product is called Testogel but i don't think the GP will give it to you as it's only available off-licence for women in the UK right now. You'll need to go private and it's expensive but honestly the best money I've ever spent. After a few weeks i felt like the woman i used to be - sexy, energetic and quick on the uptake. If you google the symptoms of low testosterone in women i bet you'll tick them all - loss of libido, lethargy and reduced drive and focus are just a few. If the money puts you off there's a supplement called DHEA that boosts T production but I've not tried it.

I used to do massive hours in the garden. Never even went out there last summer - which is also sad because I really love my gardening. Bad back certainly hasn't helped. I'm taking a multivitamin so my Vit D should be ok - I hope anyway.

Let me know when you're going to this cabin Orange and I'll come with you! Sounds lovely. It's so long since I did yoga.

I would love to do that Jon! I used to work on boats and really love being on the water. Looked at getting a boat mooring in the UK but at the moment it wouldn't work plus, how would I even pay for a mooring? I've got no savings so whilst I absolutely love your idea (I genuinely do), it's not something I could do other than from the proceeds of a lottery win!

Yes Brown, for me it's always the same old same old, even when things are going 'good'.

mindfuckery thanks for this, I'll look at that website - much appreciated. I have to say I certainly didn't feel a huge change in myself when I went onto the patches that others had reported. I did go back to the GP last week as I'd started not sleeping so well again and asked if there was a higher dose. She said there isn't in these patches, if I wanted to change it would be tablets (which generally I hate taking, I can cope with capsules but tablets - yuck) so I said I'd carry on for a while as I am and see if there are other things I can change before I go messing with the HRT I'm on at the moment.

Cloud 9 are supposed to be really good. They're the 'new GHD' dontcha know. The current GHDs are GHDs in brand name only. I've still got an original pair of GHD straighteners from over 11 years ago, still going strong. It's the build inside that's the key to their superior performance over other straighteners. When whoever bought the GHD brand they didn't buy the technology that went with them - the inventor took it with him/her to Cloud 9. I didn't know they did products too so thanks for the tip. What I've found invaluable has been keratin treatment - fab for making your hair swish and not feel like straw.

I go to the gym and I have recently started spinning. I enjoy spinning as I love the music & you can keep the resistance on as low as you like until you’re ready to push yourself a bit more. It took a lot of courage to start that class on my own but I’m so I have.

Has anyone watched Dr Michael Mosley on high intensity exercises you can do at home? It seems quite achievable and attainable

To improve my diet I’ve bought a soup maker (got to have a sautée option) and make myself healthy veggie soup for lunch. I try and cook simple meals from fresh although if I’m having a busy day I will have a ready meal with extra vegetables.

Going through the horrendous last few months I have been determined to look after myself and try and take things day by day and then life seems more manageable

Op I am your age and also eating out of control in the evenings. My face has fallen apart- don’t mind wrinkles but it’s the saggy jaw and neck I find intolerable. Like you I hate excercise but force myself to run in the gym. My testosterone was low so was prescribed Testrogel but I’m sure I gained a couple of pounds from the extra unwanted hair growth.

I have a small amount of Botox but for me a facelift will be the way to go in a couple of years. I don’t want to look young but think I’ve aged excessively for my actual age.

I'm so glad I've found this thread! This is me too, Doinit... tired, a bit overweight, no motivation, single parent of teens and fee,ling daunted (and almost redundant).

I've finally started decluttering my life as I feel so overwhelmed by everything that I figure simplifying things can only make life easier. So this weekend I've got rid of things like the breadmaker, the juicer, etc that I don't have room for in my post-divorce, smaller-house-with-smaller-kitchen, so I won't have to feel guilty about not having used breadmaker and juicer etc. I'm hoping this will help!

I've decided knitting and reading are going to be the things that I do to relax when I'm at home because they're easy - you can just have them on the settee with you, pick them up and put them down at a moment's notice. I used to like using my sewing machine but it's just too much effort to get it out these days!

user - I didn't know that about Vit D. Think I'll get some tomorrow.

Christ in that case Aroundtheworld I couldn't go on testosterone! I've already got uncontrollable wire-like chin hairs - I couldn't cope with more or stronger of them! I'd love a facelift I really would, but I'd also love a tummy tuck and liposuction as well. Never gonna happen though. Yes I too am not that fussed with the wrinkles, it's how it's all dropped down and the neck, oh god the neck!

You know one of the things that knocks me off course is that I'm buying bloody crisps and popcorn and croissants and bread and biscuits and chocolate bars for the kids (both teens) and if they weren't in the house (either the teens or the contraband foods!), I wouldn't be able to eat them! I wonder if it would be entirely unreasonable to say to them "I'm not buying these items any more because I can't control myself around them so you can't have them either" or not! Royster Bubble Chips are like crack to me.

I was thinking about spinning because as you say Mind, it can be built up until you're going full pelt. It's a fairly small town near me so it won't be any swanky class with projections and whatever else they do in fancy spin classes, but it sounds like something I could be interested in. I'll have a look and see what's around. Maybe this is my starting point.

Been single 6 months now, after a long term relationship where my other half left me for s woman he found on a dating site whilst still with me, we are selling the house, I am over him, good riddens to bad rubbish, anyway, met a lovely guy last week for first date, I was a bit nervous but the date went well, he seems to share my values and is really kind, had a good job, nice car ect . He’s really keen, went on a second date today, again really nice, but I just don’t fancy him, I wish I did, he seems ideal, but I don’t think Anyone at 50 ish is good looking , I think relationships are more than looks and want a really nice guy, after all the shits I have been out with in the past, does it take time to fall for someone at my age , 48, or is the lack of physical attraction a sign I should just forget this one ?

Posted in the wrong bit, sorry, not sure how to delete or move this post, :)

So glad I've found this thread. Middle of night here but will post later.

Sounds like you've posted in the right bit to me Joliv (except you're maybe doing better than some of us and you're actually out there feeling energized enough to go on the odd date at least!)! This is exactly me! When I was 40, my OH was 30 - when I look at men my age they do nothing for me at all. I too have had dates and I could have a fine old chat and discussions with them and all of that, but to actually full on fancy them? Nope. Nothing. Nada. I don't know what the answer is I really don't.

Katy I too have been de-cluttering. Ran out of steam with this a couple of weekends ago when I'd got so much that there was no room left in the wheelie bin and several bags of stuff I'd put on Freecycle remained, and remain, uncollected after I was messed around by yet another person saying "I'll come and get it tomorrow" and then not turning up (rrrrr). So all that's ground to a halt and I've got a cloakroom stuffed with bin bags full of clothes and shoes that I've no motivation to put onto Freecycle again even though it's a better alternative than dragging it all into town, parking up, then manhandling it to the charity shop.

Tartan I await your tale of woe in due course! I've just bloody woken up at 3.45am - SO annoying. I'm totally wide awake. I told the GP I think my hormone levels must have dropped because the HRT is now not allowing me to sleep through the night as it had been but hey ho. It's just another of the many crosses I have to bear so I'll probably get up shortly and get the 6am train in to work.

I've been awake since 2.30 am after going to bed at 11pm. This is becoming a regular occurence and I'm just so damn hot all the time (not in a sexy way either)
My joints are always aching after any sort of gardening ir decorating and I feel so feeble and sorry for myself. As for my looks...my once crowning glory of red glossy hair is now a faded matt of muddy frizz and I can't get excited about clothes when everthing looks pants on me. I feel every one of my 50 years at the moment.

Has anyone tried 30 Days of Yoga by Adriene? She's amazing! 30 mins per day of sheer self-love. She's the mistress of positivity, it's like having a shot of "love-yourself" drug every day - just get yourself a yoga Mat and promise yourself you'll invest 30 mins a day on you even if you just sit and listen to her, she's a lovely lady. There are hundreds of her videos on YouTube not just 30 Days. And she caters for people who've never done yoga in their life!

And if you love dogs she is sometimes joined by Benji, who just lies in the corner but he's soooo cute 💕

red and everyone else who can't sleep - its doing me in, I really struggle to work - I have sleep issues anyway, but now its so much worse I am up at 3.30am trying to work out a new mortgage or something like that. But at least I now know I am not alone - I thought it was just a symptom of me being generally crap at life!

I could have written your post OP and related to so many stories others have shared.

I have a busy day time job and work 2 nights a week in my local pub. I want to give the pub up as I'm fed up of being tired all the time, but I need to wait for the house to sell following my divorce before this is financially viable.

I take red clover for the night sweats (it works for me) and magnesium to help with the tiredness. Also a good quality pro-biotic as a sluggish digestive system can make me feel sluggish. But.... My diet is crap, I live alone and can't be bothered. I emptied my dishwasher after the weekend and the only cutlery in it was knives (bread) and teaspoons!

Today throwing determined to do all I can to help myself. I'll drink 2 litres of water a day as a start because this helps flush all the shut away (literally and emotionally).

Loving this peri menopausal support thread.

I also could have written this. Thank OP, maybe we could keep it going.

2-3 stone overweight, bad back, watching my children blossom is lovely, but a reminder that that's it - our lives are done and soon they will move away.

• thank you OP, rather

Happy Monday everyone:)

Sun shine helps me today, everything seems possible

doinit frizzy hair doesn't even cover it! I should name change to Crystaltips!

Mind I've just orders some Cloud 9 magical potion, I hope it works it's magic on my mop.

I have been to work this morning, come home and got changed into some work out gear that was lurking in the back of the wardrobe. I'm going to find something suitable on YouTube and give myself half an hour of exercise, anythingtoavoidtheironing

Oh and friends, I have one, she moved away:( We see each other about four times a year now. So don't have anyone to go theatre, cinema, exercise classes etc. I do have DH, but that's probably a whole other thread

Don't mind me- I'm just placemarking for later