I just saw my dad watching gay porn

[pasanda]

Can't believe I'm writing this

I'm staying at my parents with the dc and was just off to bed when one of them realised he'd left his book down in the lounge. So I went to retrieve it and my dad was clearly watching something on his iPad. I asked what and he replied 'just checking my emails'.

There was sound though, and I thought he looked a bit weird, so I pretended to go back outside but really went back to the kitchen and round the back of him. Saw over his shoulder. Two men in a shower.

Happily married nearly 50 years. He's 73. Two kids. I love him so much. He said he was going to watch his 'sport' and he always got immersed in it so stayed up late. We had a laugh about that.

Do you think he's gay? I am absolutely flabbergasted tbh. My heart is racing and I wish I had never been so nosy!!

Do you think I'm over reacting? My mum has been poorly for about 12 years with a fibromyalgia type illness.

Why gay porn?? Fuck.

Why did you snoop and want to know what he was watching? He says his emails, what business is it of yours to disbelieve him?

Also. I don't watch porn and never have. It's not really on my radar. I don't judge anyone who does either. I'm not judging my dad in that he was watching porn. I was just shocked it was two men and he'd jumped onto his iPad so quickly.

I naively thought that's it, he's gay. Now I don't necessarily think that.

Feral - a bit better about it (if it was straight porn) but still about the timing.

Right, I'm off down to breakfast ... and seeing my lovely dad.

Is he having sausages?

Thank goodness you found that amusing 😄

I did yes.

Just been out into town with him and dc and apart from me mentioning ds thought something was 'a bit gay' (classic teen speak, I know I know, he shouldn't say this) and then thinking fuck, why did I say that, all was good and normal.

I'm pleased to say.

well, if your only real concern is that he's secretly gay then you can seriously relax! i'd be worried if you caught him on a dating site or webchats or he was being deceitful or something! But porn is just fantasy and he literally could have clicked on it after you startled him.

and we still don't know that it was porn. i can't watch many prestige tv shows in public nowadays because i'd be arrested. And films too! if you glance over at someone's ipad mid scene, most shows look pornographic.

Leave him alone!

What kind of porn he watches is non of your buisness as long as it's legal!

Poor bloke must be mortified.

I should try not to worry about it. It's not doing anyone any harm.

wonderlass - He doesn't know! And never will, don't worry.

To those of you who say "leave your dad alone, what he does in his own house on his own iPad is up to him" I say this. Yes, to a certain degree you are right, but remember there were two dc in the house at the time. They could easily have been the ones that saw the gay sex scene, would you want your dc to see that? I don't think so! That could be confusing and upsetting for a child and on that basis I think grandad should be more careful when he has the dc over.

Last year my dd went for a play date (she was 11 then) and came home and told me that her and her friend had gone into the study and found the girl's dad watching "ladies that had no clothes on" what I assumed to be porn. She told me he panicked and was trying to close the screen down before they saw it but it was too late. So, how would you feel about that? The guy was in his own house on his own computer. Now I expect those of you who criticised OP would not be happy about the above scenario, but what is the difference?

Just been thinking about films I've watched. They have included a LOT of things I'm not into but I have watched anyway, or partially. Was it a Holllywood type film maybe ? With a story in I mean. A hot gay one obviously but a story nonetheless.

Whydoilooksoold; if op was going to bed then the children would have already been tucked up. Huge difference between that and watching porn during a daytime play date!!!

I think the best thing for OP would be to decide that her dad was watching the Versace film or something similar, and then not think about it again. As PP have said, there are quite a lot of 'mainstream' films which have at least semi-explicit sex scenes in them, so it's not that much of an imaginative leap to think 'feature film with sex scene' rather than 'OMG porn!'

Aloa- they weren't safety tucked up. They were doing their teeth. They are 10 & 11 so only just going to bed and I was having an early night.

Yes, but you had to sneak round behind your father in order to see the screen. Why? Why would you do that? I just don't understand your motives at all.

Pasanda, i'm lesbian and my partner and i sometimes watch porn. It's always straight porn. I have absolutely no desire to be with a man.

On a diferent note, my parents have been married for 35 years and just recently my mom confided in me that she would have loved to have had a relationship with a woman when she was younger and single but she met my father and fell in love. She says that even though she's never had a relationship with another women she feels she is atracted to both men and women but the love of her life is my father and he is a man.

I realise I'm clutching at straws here but could it possibly have been a late night advert for a gay hotline or something similar? I've often seen innocent things on tv/online and thought my god, if someone saw this on my screen they'd think I was watching porn!

I'm with why

Is the sitting room, in the evening a suitable place to gain some privacy? Was the door closed? Do other people walk in and out of the room, do other people circulate around this space, is it on a route to another shared space within the home, is their some prior agreement that any one individual use this space for privacy?

I remember as a child arriving home on a Friday from school and finding the sitting room doors closed. There was glass so I could see that there was a visitor. I could knock the door and wait to be told to go in. It was usually insurance, financial advisor, pensions person, solicitor......I've no doubt that the door was closed to signify that 'private' business was in session! Likewise I have a study, the children knock on the door to come in. If the door is open they are free to walk in, any time they like.

I really do wonder why privacy (especially in relation to porn viewing, including in public spaces on screens) trumps all sense of manners, etiquette, decency and regard for the sensibilities of other people.

You even get middle aged men on trains viewing porn on their phones, and even larger displays such as iPads where the contents can be clearly viewed by others. But if you dated to challenge it you'd be shouted at for violating their privacy.

No wonder no one challenges anything and walks about eyes to the ground to frightened to even intervene when something is clearly wrong, such as DV, rape, murder.....oh, but they will pull out their phone and record it then plaster it over social media.

AloaBoa Have you never heard of children getting out of bed and coming back downstairs for a variety of reasons. Who was to say that they may have played a joke on grandad, sneaked up behind him to scare him for a joke etc etc! I'm sorry but there is no difference between this and my dd's play date. IMO if you have children in the house then you behave appropriately. They had literally just gone upstairs for goodness sake and were brushing their teeth. They hadn't even got into bed. What if he had been masturbating (sorry OP) would this also have been ok? His house, his rules, his own privacy etc. Weird that people think this is ok behaviour around your children.

Aside from all the issues of privacy, why are you so rattled about it being gay porn? If your Dad is gay/bi-sexual does that make him any less of a person? I can understand your surprise at the discovery, but it is as though you attach some stigma to his sexual preferences.

I don't understand why you are having such problems with this OP?
You say you are not homophobic or have any problems with a person's sexuality whatsoever but then say things like "I cat sleep" and "my heart is racing" The 2 things don't go together.

I have been happily married for over 10 years have 7 kids, but I have watched lesbian porn. I am not a lesbian, I may be on the bicurious side but what does that matter? As I said I am happily married and I have not been unfaithful to my husband. There is only one RL life person that would have a problem with it and that's my dad but that's because he's homophobic and after a horrifying conversation not long ago about how homosexuals shouldn't be allowed to adopt certain sexes I asked him "what would you do if I told you I was a lesbian?" was disgusting and terrifying in so much that I will never tell him my feelings.

I'm not having a dig either op I just honestly don't get the issue if you honestly don't have a problem with people's sexuality.
Oh and there's nothing wrong with being homophobic btw op as long as your not going around being horrible to people or sticking your opinions in people's faces
xx

I am NOT homophobic fgs.

It's just that it came as a fucking shock to me!!!

Fine, other people may have no issue with this whatsoever. Good on you. I do. And yes, I couldn't sleep last night because I was thinking about it and yes my heart was racing - not something I could help really.

We're watching Masterchef tonight, same as last night, and I'm having deja bloody vu