Solicitors letter to DH mistress in affair

[Bub3017]

Hi,

Can I send a letter from my solicitor to the other party in my partners affair; seeking compensation or an apology due to being behind in uni work, having my anxiety medication increased, failing as a person and every other emotional distress I have been under from finding out my partner had an emotional affair that later led to sex?

And yes I am being genuine!!

I was in a relationship with a man for nearly 2years, only to find out he was married when I fell pregnant!

I worked with him for about one year before we got together. I knew he had "been" married but he told me that he and his wife had split up and her job was taking her to Ireland.

I spent time with him and his kids, he showed me the for sale sign on the house, I even met his parents (he introduced me to them by saying "this is Tartan, the girl I've been telling you about)

When I fell pregnant the truth came out. Yes, her job had taken her to Ireland...but only a couple of days per week. The house was up for sale because they were selling to buy a bigger one.

I'm pretty sure she looks at me as the slapper who tried to steal her husband but had I known the truth I would not have touched him with a ten-foot barge pole. She sent me a lawyers letter (she is a lawyer herself) stating that I may be called to court as a witness in divorce proceedings but it never happened, I think that was just to hurt and humiliate me, and although I can see her point I was already hurt and humiliated enough.

I was left a single parent, painted as a homewrecker and left thoroughly broken.

Yes, there are some women who enter into a relationship with married/taken men and don't care. But some men are black belts at lying and cheating and pointing the finger of blame elsewhere.

As much as it is this man's fault- some women do like dating married men.

My MIL for one.

Well hopefully tartan you are getting maintenance. Mostly of these cheating arseholes even think that is optional.,

I know I'm in a minority here but I cannot ABIDE that chump-woman. I think her statements are trite, clichéd and patronising. I also hate the fact that it's very hard not to accidentally click on 'buy my book'... No, not in this lifetime!

I have a vague idea that in America you can sue for alienation of affection...

But my advice to you is to fuck him off, and give yourself a shot a life. He did this. To you. He knew how much it would hurt you, devastate you, and he did it anyway.

You deserve more. Forget her and forget him. You deserve so much more.

My DH is a solicitor.

I told him about this and he laughed his head off.

My DH is a solicitor.

I told him about this and he laughed his head off.

Hilarious

Does this woman even know you? Honestly, your argument should be with your DP. LTB and move on with your life. HE DID THIS TO YOU!

Legals: No. Tried and tested path in family law and a definite pointless exercise. Your conduct may count against you. He and she will profit from your irrelevant action, down the pub over a glass of wine.

Morals: Let will out. What he has done to you, he will do to her. Mark my words.

Better to take her champagne and flowers. Thank her for giving you information about him and life you did not know before. Seriously.

And like you. Yes, I am being genuine!

Better keep a few copies of the letter, you will need it when he cheats on you again...

Oh well then, if your dp the solicitor laughed his head off..
There’s something really grating & a bit off about the my dp said posts
It smacks of

1. Seeking a vicarious status from having a dp with x,y,z job
2. hush now you women man has spoken

Lipstick

You need to treat yourself. x Hope you're doing/feeling better soon x

You could. For a few hundred quid.

You'd look like a nutter though.

Hold your head up high, no matter how much it hurts and keep your self respect.

I'm sorry this happened to you x

I know what he is and I'm not shagging him, I've lost my appetite for sex lately!!
Apparently you want to, he is not interested though, according to the thread you started only a few days ago!

How about having some self respect?

OP, your silence will serve you well.
Get rid of the virus that is your partner, and you will make a speedier recovery.
You are worth more.💐

It won't have the effect you want ( make her feel humiliated and disgusted). She will just chuck it in the bin. It will just cost you money.

Well, if that's where your mind took you, Lipstick, that's down to you (although I expect on MN you won't be on your own).

That didn't cross my mind. I sympathise with OP but, tbf, if she took that to any solicitor's office, sadly, it's quite likely that would be the response (once she'd left of course). I think that post was fair enough. Harsh but true. Posters don't want OP making a fool of herself.

Op I know how you feel. All that rage has to go somewhere and if you are trying to make a go of it with your partner and your family it’s hard to put that rage with him ( where it belongs) so you direct it at her.
I have been in this situation and almost burned my self up with the anger and horror of it. I was not rational, I did little “ spells” burning a picture of her I found and cursing her ( it sounds unhinged now I know) it made me feel a bit better.
He needs to help you by not putting a foot wrong and listening to your justifiable rants. It’s not pleasant but it will eventually lessen.
The letter and burning it is also a good idea.
I am still with my partner. I am so glad we made it now but the pain of it took a long time to dissipate.

I do have to agree re the “my dh is a solicitor” and he thinks that’s hilarious. It’s a bit pathetic to try to get some sort of vicarious status from your husbands job as lipstick says. And your husband sounds like a dick.

Obviously there’s no compensation op could seek though nor any legal wrong to complain about. Of course op must be going through a lot- ditch the cheating buffoon and I hope you feel better soon.

Honestly I have to laugh at someone calling the women who didn't cheat on anyone sad and pathetic when they're currently trying to make it work with a lying, cheating scumbag.

She's not the pathetic one here.

Have some self-worth.

OP things will look up when you get rid of him, if he loved you he wouldn't hurt you x Someone nice and loyal will come along.

Just read a few of your old threads!
All I have to say is good luck controlling him!

It's definitely not continuing as I've everything tracked and know where he is who he messages/calls/facebooks and where his money is going and I've terrified the bitch enough for her not to even think about contacting him again - plus he knows if I find out there is more then I'll make it incredibly difficult for him with work and the kids. I've told him that there will be no break and that if he wants to go there will be no coming back as my home and heart is not a revolving door. He claims I'm who he wants to be with and that he's scared of hurting me more