Solicitors letter to DH mistress in affair

[Bub3017]

Hi,

Can I send a letter from my solicitor to the other party in my partners affair; seeking compensation or an apology due to being behind in uni work, having my anxiety medication increased, failing as a person and every other emotional distress I have been under from finding out my partner had an emotional affair that later led to sex?

And yes I am being genuine!!

Sue him.

What for pray tell?

If you do this you’ll look Unhinged. Firstly, you have no idea what bullshit your boyfriend told her, secondly, she had made no commitment to you but your boyfriend had. He knew he had a partner and children when he chose to shag someone else.
All your vitriol should be aimed at him, he’s not a child being led astray by the nasty OW.

Yea riiiight sue your poon hound bf that you’re still with.cause that’s going to end well

She knew he had a partner and kids so knew exactly what she was at

She doesn’t have any loyalty to you at all, she doesn’t care about you or your kids, she holds no responsibility, your partner was meant to be loyal, care etc

Yet your blaming her?

He has had to live with the fallout of everything.

Well he was the one that had the affair.

Just dump hm

I think you need to be honest with yourself.

You claim you don’t hate her but instead pity her & her “pathetic” life, but that’s patently untrue. You are consumed with hatred - which is not jard to understand but is massively misplaced.

Your “D”P cheated on you. Lied to your face so he could stick his dick into someone else and you are fighting to keep hold of him.....why?

He doesn’t love you or want to be with you, even if he is claiming he does to keep you quiet, so why not renove him from your life? He won’t change & this will happen again.

Wanting this woman to know all about your anxiety is emotional manipulation. She won’t give a shit, she’ll just think you’re a hysterical weirdo and tell everyone as much.

Either leave him or accept what he’s done (and will do again). Those are your only two options.

I just want her to feel humiliated and disgusted by her actions

You really think a solicitors letter will achieve any of that?? Don't be ridiculous. It'll go straight in the bin.

Why are you angry at her, and not your partner? He is the one who betrayed you?

Bin him off, to hell with them both

Be mindful the recipient may complain you are Harrasing her

You haven’t failed as a person, OP. The only person who has failed anyone, is your partner.

Don’t send this letter, especially not through a solicitor. It will only appear to back up the shit he’s likely told her about you.

Can we please be a little kinder and more patient with the OP, she's had a massive shock and even if we think she's not dealing well with what's happened and incorrectly apportioning blame ..... she's clearly distressed.

OP, you'll get passed all over this and life will be good again one day, maybe not with your current partner though 💐

Take a notice out in the local newspaper. only half joking Or tell the biggest gossip you know in your town.

To be fair, tho, this is down to your DP, not her, although she’s a nasty cow knowing his situation.

*past

He has had to live with the fallout of everything.

Poor guy. It must be awful for him.

No, it makes you look and sound ridiculous. I get where you are coming from but maintaining a dignified silence is better. Don’t get bitter.
Are you staying together?

Please catch a grip, for your own sanity.
I mean this kindly

What would it acheive? Nothing. She knew he was in a relationship and didnt care so why do you think sending a letter will change anything? She doesnt care. Your problem is closer to home.

You're clearly very very hurt. I hope HE is the one giving the apologies and doing all he can to 'compensate' you.

What is he doing to make this right? To show he's truly sorry? Don't answer if I'm prying but do make sure he is doing everything you need to make it right.

You don't have to put up a pretence of being ok just because you're letting him stay. This will take a lot from him. A lot.

There's nothing you can get from her or do to her that will make you feel better. It's all on him. Start working on that. Good luck.

I never understand why the partner cheating is not to blame in situations like this..

I am sorry youve gone through op,and it’s impacting on your studies
There’s no such thing as a practically married man.hes unmarried
You calling him practically married won’t make him more faithful or reliable
If you want to be married,have that convo with him.you can’t compel him to marry you.
Make wills, get house in joint names,nominate each other as nok with your GP

www.chumplady.com/2018/04/dear-chump-lady-the-other-woman-who-does-that/

A good solicitor will always advise you never to make threats that you can't carry through. And you can't carry through this one, because any legal action you bring would be doomed to failure, and indeed would be struck out with a costs order against you at the earliest possible opportunity.

Therefore receiving such a letter wouldn't make her feel humiliated. She'd probably find it funny.

OP do not debase and humiliate yourself by writing such a letter.

just want her to feel humiliated and disgusted

This is not going to get you anywhere, except your own humiliation.

So sorry for you. It will get better eventually. Time to take back your own powerl