Bring on the Spring Flings. It's Dating Thread 132!

[VetOnCall]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

God it's sobering reading on here! I'm glad I found you all though, helps to know what to expect...
Had date with Mr too good to be true. He was 25 minutes late (train engineering works) but kept me updated constantly and was very apologetic, I told him that was his first strike
Looked slimmer than in profile pic, not a bad thing and seemed lovely. We walked to Camden and wandered round the markets. I've got dietary issues so we got some snacks and sat by the lock to eat them in the sunshine. Conversation flowed and seemed very comfortable, h was quite tactile but not in a sleazy way, seemed attentive and keen. He suggested meeting next weekend to celebrate my birthday but I hadn't made firm plans with friends/family so didn't commit at the time. Do I suggest something and assume he was serious or wait to see if I hear from him?

Married sounds nice! If you want to see him again and have no plans, I would probably send a message just saying that it turns out you'll be free if he's still interested then he can plan something to do!

In another twist to the tale of Mr Flakey, one of my closest friends discovered she's a good friend with the sister of Flakey's girlfriend. So my friend messaged her friend to let her know what happened. I haven't heard anything back yet.
It just shows that it's a small world!

Can another gentleman ask for some advice here? The more 'experienced' new daters seem to be woefully under-represented.

My passport says I'm past 60, but fortunately the rest of me doesn't read my passport. Recently dumped by stbx in favour of a toyboy, so dipped a toe in the online dating thing a few weeks ago.

My question is about breaking off. A 2 week relationship, 4 dates including some sleepovers. Do people prefer to read a 'sorry, but...' message on WhatsApp where they can react in private, or hear it face to face in Starbucks? I'm not into the cut off and block stuff, that's just rude and people deserve better.

Oh, and I'm also a student, another group tghat is woefully under-represented on here.

Pie - if you have DTD, I would do it face to face but somewhere private seems the decent thing to do - my passport says 60 so there are some of us on here

morning all runs . what an absolute dickhead, but you know you are better off without him.
lost I think you need to do a bit of soul searching regarding the type that you are attracted to. Both of those are not right for you. As others have said the first few dates are 'best behaviour' compliment dates, well it should always be like that really; Not picking fault in your character!

pie I would prefer a call or message.

OK... massive update on my dating scene.

Mrsnog has been contacting me since last week, I have said no to meeting up, to going out, to everything - I suppose, playing him at his own game and its working, daily calls, chats etc initiated by him.
So when I was out with the girls on Saturday night he thought I would call him for a lift home, I didnt (my nephew did) and he called Sunday and yesterday.

Anyway, he came over last night, I told him I was still bit rough, feeling tired and nothing would happen (TofM) he snuggled with me all night, went to bed and he was lovely, just how it should be... he got up for work this morning, kissed me lots and asked if he could see me later.

Also got date with mrFrench tomorrow and if that works out I wont see Mr snog anymore.

Apart from that not been on pof for a good few days.

WTF do I do about Mr Snog? I like him, he makes me laugh, we have good fun together but I dont think I could trust him fully and Im sure its just sex - although now he says not. FFS. I need Matthew Hussey in my ear at all times!

Thanks ladies.... some great replies... Sky loved your comments girl. Made me smile.... Girl you are bettter than that! I have messaged Mr Headfuck and said that I am just not prepared to waste any more time second guessing what he wants/feels etc... soon it will be SEVEN months that we have been in each other’s lives.... I have to say, it was me who walked away before, he has seen me pretty much every week that we’ve been dating, messaged me or video called me
Every day unless he has exams or is with his daughter.....
but neither of us have met any friends or family of the other, and each time I leave him I never know when I will see him again and everything is on his terms and so unsettling and to hear him say on such a lovely intimate weekend together, that he is a commitment phobe and just can’t see the point in marriage and compromising yourself.... hurt me and made me feel like I had totally wasted my time.
I feel like shit today with a bad cold and chest.... I need some time out of this rollercoaster and to start investing in some new people... and most of all... myself !!

Morning all

Met up with Mr French again. I came to the city as I have a flight at lunchtime so stayed over and will leave my car here. I brought ingredients and cooked him a curry (as I love curries as does he :) and it went down a treat. He had to be up at 4am which was a shame, but I am still tucked up in his bed doing some last minute stuff for work . He seems very keen, he is very tactile and very focused on me (but not in a love bomby way in a nice way). it feels really comfortable, we have lots to talk about.

I am starting to get to the point I don't want to think about anyone else so am not on tinder or engaging in any way with anyone else (apart from a couple of old irons I never met but I am not talking about meeting them, and Mr Dutch English has been in touch a bit), but I feel its a bit early to have the whole "exclusive" talk. We said this morning that next time he will come to me, so lets see if that materialises as both times I have traveled to him.

He is a gorgeous, confident, virile young man who lives in a city so his options are not limited. Any advice?

pie I would say face to face is the most gentlemanly thing to do, or on the phone but not message. I don't think its nice to do it via message at all.

Jax see Mr French, then see how you feel, it might make you appreciate what you have with mr snog a bit more ifykwim. Don't close all the doors ;)

Lostlily well done on messaging Mr head fuck. I think its the right thing to do, you have been occupied in your thoughts with him for 7 months, 7 months where noone else really had a fighting chance as your mind was on him. So he either steps up or you move on. Once you have that clarity you might find you are interested in lots of different guys again. When I was with ex FWB, I was getting what I need in terms of physical attention and company, but longer term he wouldn't ever comitt nor did I want him too. Soon as I said it, I started to look around again ;)

Right better go spray some perfume on Mr french's pillow so he misses me when I am gone ;)

Who said they were in Devon? I've managed to get chatting to a very nice man from there, except I'm in the f*ckin Highlands!!! FML.

Pudding Just roll with it for now, 'you'll like who you like' and he obviously likes you!! He sounds lovely but him coming to you is important, there's got to be a balance!!

Lostlily I agree with pudding, seven months of taking up headspace, without any progress, blocking you from thinking about other opportunities is too long.

Does anyone else think this...
Profile reads "Knight seeking a princess or gentleman ready to help the right woman" that he's after a living Barbie doll to control and manipulate under the pretext that he wants to 'save' her?

Profile reads "Not here to be messed about, where are all the good women, are you better than the others?" hint of passive aggression. Asking for a women to put his needs first and do all the work to make him happy?

I avoid these btw, just notice a fair number of them and wondered if anyone else does?

Choc I avoid them tok, but I think that cause there are so many female profiles that actively state they are LOOKING for a Knight in Shining armour (followed by the rest of that tinfoil crap) that these men are just using it to get attention cause they think they're offering what we're looking for.

Springtime It's rubbish isn't it?
I just think it screams out I need a man and one that swoops in to take charge. I won't be adding that to a profile.

Mine are hidden at moment as I'm just going to see how things go with Mr Cute. It is all eggs in one basket, but I was getting fed up messaging multiples.

Mr Tinder is coming to mine for the first time today. It’s all getting a bit scary and serious at times I just want to say ‘fuck it’ and run away from it. I’m not really sure how I feel about him, we are similar in some ways but very different in others, he smokes occationally which I’m not a fan of. Usually on my day off I would go and enjoy one of my hobbies, usually on my own, I kind of feel I am missing out on my me time . Today is also a test to see if our dogs get along, he takes his dog everywhere so for him to be able to stay over his dog needs to be ok with mine (and not eat my cat).

Spring I'm in Devon, how old is he?! I quite often match with people and then find that they were only here on holiday and actually live 200 miles away.

He's early 40's Vet I matched with him on Tinder.
Because I had something up on my profile he found really funny, he swiped and messaged without checking where I live. He's just up here working.
If he lived up here I would be jumping
on a date with him.

Lost I had something similar last year. I dated someone for 9 months. I did meet his mum sister and her husband in that time. But he never told his kids about me although he met mine a few times. Also, I always felt second best. At bank holidays he'd choose to decorate his flat above seeing me! He also said he'd never live with anyone again. So I knew it wouldn't go anywhere. You're best off without him. I miss the guy I dated, but I re-read our WA convos sometimes and realise he just fucked my head too.

Pudding hope you and Mr Tinder have a great day.

So I'm in a dilemma. Mr Academic and I have messaged. He's keen to see me again but isn't free this weekend. I have suggested the following weekend and he 'thinks' that's ok. He lives near me so I could also suggest a drink tomorrow evening as not seeing each other for over 2 weeks after date 1 is quite a long time. Should I? Or will I appear too keen? He's not a serial dater at all, so he told me, and appears to have a very busy social life. I don't want to appear needy! But equally I don't want to appear unavailable.

TomHardy two weeks seems a long wait if you are near each other. Is this a particularly busy time for him / you?
I would suggest a drink in the week.

choc it's hard in the week as my daughter trains for swimming every night of the week and the ex doesn't help. But I can make it work tomorrow as she finishes early. He's not far from me so I can only ask.

So how not to over invest. Mr policeman who was lovely and seemed into me has disappeared. We are due for date 3 on Saturday but haven't heard from him since Sunday which is unusal. Also text and WhatsApp untouched.

So he's ghosted me. He isnot the first and won't be the last. But how do I stop caring / giving off over involved signals? I'm so upset and then cross with myself.

TheNew i found an Amy Young video on YouTube that someone here shared really helps me. Search Amy Young, Make yourself rejection proof

Thanks Spring. Will find it!

Dating dilemma. I seem to have double booked myself for Saturday evening.
In one corner we have Mr Vest. Very fit looking, good with messages but says he wants to see me sooner than Saturday. When I said I couldn't do earlier he said he'd let me know about Saturday.

So leaving Mr Vest to his indecision I got chatting to Mr Hat, also very fit looking. He has said yes to Saturday although he's leaving it to me to decide when and where. However, having agreed this, his messages have turned quite naughty. So I think he is just after FWB.

Now Mr Vest has come back and said yes to Saturday. But asked what we were doing after drinks. . I have a feeling he may change his mind if he gets a better offer.

And there isn't an option to see them at different times at the weekend, as I'm fully booked with other stuff.

Maybe I should just stay home and browse MN instead

Hello everyone, I’ve been enjoying reading all your posts and admire the way you all support each other. I’m learning a lot about OLD and it seems quite scary I hope you don’t mind me joining.

I became single last year. I’m in my 50s and I don’t feel it (most days!) and hopefully don’t look it. Are there any dating sites anyone would recommend for the....ahem “more mature”?

Runs as both hot, I would pick the one that ticks more of your boxes than looks The one that on paper, at least, you are more likely to have similarities with.

Hi mywonder I think pof has a wide range, lots of nutters to ignore, but potentials too. I'm in my 40s.