Bring on the Spring Flings. It's Dating Thread 132!

[VetOnCall]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Aww Tom that just sucks. I hate it when that happens, but like you I seem to 'know' when it's coming. Doesn't make it any easier tho, and then you feel suspicious of future dates. I'm sorry. It sucks

Tom his loss. Not a nice thing to do to someone . I have a feeling I will be stood up tomorrow, Mr Tinder is turning into Mr flakey. He messaged me this morning to say he hurt his ribs and is at home in bed. I’m guessing he will either want me to go and look after him tomorrow or I won’t be seeing him at all.

Thanks love and spring I am a bit miffed, although not surprised and just thought of the dating rules - people being weird is not my fault. I just wish people had the guts to say "thanks but no thanks". He's been on POF this afternoon and WA. Idiot. I've now deleted my POF account and blocked him. I friend zoned Mr Writer. All I have left is Mr Academic. And I'll be waiting for him to make the next move. Although he isn't showing any red flags and appears to be surprisingly normal. I shan't hold my breath though! It's definitely time to take a break from OLD for a while.

Let us know what happens love. Although it does sound like he's going to bail out.

Don't you wonder where all the genuine people are?!

I really wish we could give people ratings on dating sites Trip Advisor-style!

Tom that's crap and was probably one of the reasons I decided to delete everything to do with OLD. As it takes it a little manners to say sorry I don't think we are suited etc. But no they just ignore which is just rude. I think for a lot it's an ego boost and they've no intention of meeting in the first place. Great idea trip advisor for OLD

choc I agree. I think many have no intention of meeting anyone. It's purely for their ego. I bet they love the attention and constant messaging. It's all so shallow.

Tom- so sorry you got treated like that by Mr French. What a W*nker. Grrrrr. You are right, I think sometimes it is obviously the grown up and adult thing to tell people how you feel but it appears that some people think that ignoring is acceptable. Good work on blocking and deleting...... the other way I am looking at that though is perhaps this is paving the way for something better i.e. Mr Academic. 👌🌈

Love - hmmmm well it could go one of two ways, he could be telling the truth (unlikely! - oh so cynical!) And ge may wany you to go and to your best florence nightingale routine......or he is going to bail out. I hate the oh im Coming down with something or have injured this and that. It makes you think, ahhh when will I get the bail out message.

Trip advisor online dating would be amazing and perhaps would make people think twice about being a douche!

.... And I just got dumped by hipster boy 🙄 ffs. He said he's not over his ex. I give up!!

Tom that's just bloody rude. Jeez, why do people do that?? Surely common courtesy should come into it???

Thanks vixen and sky, it's so rude, isn't it? But I guess I've had a lucky escape. And yes, it does pave the way for me to get to know Mr Academic better.

vixen sorry to hear about Mr Hipster. I think men just can't be alone sometimes. So they get into something new but once their head catches up with their heart then they can suddenly decide to take a step back. Do you have any other irons lined up?

Sorry, I meant sky regarding Mr Hipster.

My date is on for today, we shall see how it goes (not getting too excited about it).

Sky that sucks, several men have done this too me, I’m sure they just go on POF to make their ex jealous, one even said “oh, my ex saw me on there and then relised she wanted me back” , people really should go on there looking for a rebound and leading people on but sadly it happens a lot.

sky sorry to hear that about Mr Hipster. Sometimes you think you're ready to start dating again then realise you're not. But it's no fun if you're the one having to deal with being dumped because they're holding on to the past.

Tom hope things work out better with Mr Academic

Love good luck with today's date. I hope you're going out somewhere nice.

My date last night was erm.... interesting!
He was about half my height and twice as wide. As a photographer he'd clearly cleverly manipulated his photos to look his best. He spent half the date looking like he wanted to escape but got very animated when I asked about his work. However he spoke like a machine gun. Very fast in short bursts so I only understood every 10th word.
Then he got onto his hobby which he was even more passionate about but left me completely cold as it was a bit weird. All I could do was nod politely.
After an hour he said he would walk me to my car. I was relieved but assumed he'd had enough, like me, as it was clear we had nothing in common. But no! He asked for another date.

Good luck for today love

runs that sounds awful! Have you said yes to date 2 though??

Thanks everyone. I'm curiously upset about it really. The nervous date in reality didn't go well, it was nice but stilted. If I'm being honest with myself, I wanted it to go well, because I liked him, but maybe I was trying too hard for it to be brilliant?
My paranoia tells me the 'I'm not over my ex' bit was bullshit. I reckon he thought it wasn't going brilliantly either, and he just wanted to leave.

I guess I'm not coping well with it because I think it was because he didn't fancy me enough. Lord knows why that's really bothering me. It usually doesn't. Very despondent now.

runs I would hope there's not going to be a second date 😮!!

Sky I wouldn't let it bother you too much.
I do think it was a bit of an excuse but also think there was some truth to it.
Don't take this the wrong way but I think if his interest level was higher then he wouldn't be thinking of his ex.
His ex may have left quite a mark on him so whoever he meets at this moment in time will always be competing with that.
It's probably someone you wouldn't want to invest in anyway.
You want someone with no baggage

Sky - Please do not be too despondent, have a day where you let it hurt then don't let him occupy anymore space in your head. Let it hurt, then let it go. It wasn't meant to be this time but there IS someone out there who is fully deserving of you and who you will hit it off with & the feeling will be mutual. I've had dates where I'm more into the guy than he has been me but I have chalked it up to experience and moved onto the next. :-) have faith but don't let how you feel right now gobble you up.completely - dust yourself off and get back out there girl x

Runs - can't believe he wanted date 2! I also love your description about his technical ability with a camera. Sorry it didn't work out how you hoped 🙈 but it is definately a story to tell......

Just off on my 3rd date with the guy who i didnt think i would like but actually do. He needs a proper name..... off out for lunch together & the weather is glorious.

Good luck to everyone out & about this weekend xxx

No I'm not having a second date with the photographer. It was awkward because he obviously had no idea that I was going to turn him down.
For the right person he would be great. Polite, family orientated and very knowledgeable about his work and his hobby. But when he started veering into flat earth theories and the like, I couldn't wait to leave! One for the classic, memorable dates.

oh runs my second date with my last iron was like that. It was just awful.

Im looking forward to meeting mr french on Wednesday - my only issue is he doesnt drive, everything else is fine. hmmf.

Back from my date with Mr Tinder, we actually went clay pigeon shooting, he tried to teach me to shoot and failed badly, then he paid for me to have a lesson with a shooting instructor and a better gun and I was pretty good . He says he’s coming to my house on Tuesday but we shall see. I’m still not sure if this will be a long time thing, there were times where I was a bit bored 😐. I think I’m just so used to my own company and doing what I want.

Runs I think Photographers can be a bit quirky, I probably would have got on well with him but then again I don’t do short wide men. I find it hard to find ‘my type’ as I can be quite quirky and keen on my hobby, sometimes I can find other people really boring talking about their hobbies but I do try and sound interested. I can talk about photography and the weather for hours but today I got caught up in a conversation between 3 men about guns and I was struggling not to yawn and was wishing I was at home.

Got a new iron yesterday who wanted unto meet for coffee today but I had loads to do so declined - glad I did as he is starting to get a bit live bombing in his messages - I'm beginning to wonder if there are any normal men out there ! I'm so glad for this thread - at least I know it's not just me

Hello ladies. I wondered if I could ask for your thoughts / advice about my current situation.

I started chatting to a man at the beginning of February on tinder. He is very lovely and attentive, texting every morning and evening. We live over an hour apart and because of various plans that we already both had we have only met up about 5 times including a weekend away. He has been in Australia for a month and so we have had limited contact but something most days, always initiated by him.
I haven’t been on the dating scene for a long time so all this is new to me. We haven’t had any discussions about being exclusive or about what this is. I am not seeing anyone else and al5hough we haven’t discussed it I don’t believe he is either.
So I guess my questions are about at what point do we discuss Exclusivity, where we are going etc . I don’t want to appear clingy or needy or want to put any pressure on things but I guess I feel that as I only want a relationship I don’t want to waste time and energy and emotions on someone who doesn’t. Also do you have any suggestions about how I word things?

I hope all that makes sense. By the way we are both in our 50s.