Bring on the Spring Flings. It's Dating Thread 132!

[VetOnCall]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

I've a slight issue with hipster boy, can anyone throw any light on it please?
Hispster boy came over today, for a planned first DTD. All going swimmingly, but he got cough nervous. He admitted he'd been really nervous beforehand.
Now, because I'm now paranoid 😂, I'm worried that it was me, and not nerves! It was a bit stilted after but still nice though.
This hasn't happened to me before - likely to be me, nerves, or just one of those things?!

oh sky I think this is one for the guys on the thread. But nerves are a possibility.

sky I think it’s pretty normal for the first time, I always ignore the first time dtd, it’s usually a bit awkward and there are nerves. Give him another chance and he might be much more relaxed.

Sky I think because it was planned he was probably already nervous. Bet you next time be more relaxed once there's no issue around what happened today

Done think I'm being over-sensitive but would welcome views - I've been texting a man on and off for a few weeks now - if there has been days when it doesn't happen that has been fine - tonight we have been texting and he knows I have my 3 year old grandson for a sleepover and out of blue he FaceTimes me without warning - not a happy bunny

Thanks you lot. I'm hoping it's just nerves. I can't speak to him this weekend very much either as he had his kids, so I won't be able to reassure him (and me). Hah!

Val I wouldn't be happy either. Has he facetimed you before, or was it the first time? Personally I hate video calling - I like to do other stuff while I'm on the phone!

Sky no he hasn't - in fact he has been a perfect gentleman until now - never even suggested it - just feel he has overstepped a big line for me - he has been a slow burn so far and I was happy with that

Val, are you sure it was deliberate- I've accidentally facetimed people more than once!

I've had a strange week. Mr Decent has vanished without warning and clearly isn't, the lines about honesty and being nice are wishful thinking on his part. Meh, whatever.
Had a couple of chats but nothing of real interest apart from one guy who will allegedly call me this evening. He is articulate and amusing so far but I'm sliding into cynicism rather faster than I'd like.
Starting to think my choice of work (specialist retail) and consequent low income is getting me judged but I have put it out there because I don't want anyone to have unrealistic expectations.

Had a friendly enough message this morning including the question about why I do what I do for work. Thought I'd be nice so replied explaining briefly and it suddenly deteriorated into this- I screenshotted before I blocked! Let me know if you think he's the man you've been waiting for...

Married no it wasn't an accident - he texted me to say nearly got you on FaceTime - he did it twice and I declined both times - messaged him now and told him it wasn't on.** - I wouldn't have taken the call if I was on my own without warning but when I'm having a choc and Thomas fest - nah

Married well blocked

married OMG! Lucky dodge. Well blocked. idiot.

Val it is a bit odd, I can see why you would be annoyed especially as he tried twice and knew you had your grandson there.

sky was there chemistry? I would give him a second chance if there was. If it was planned that that was going to happen then he probably had been stressing. I don't think we can understand that pressure some men must feel. You sound not too bothered by it so the reassurance for him will be nice.

Pud!- he hasn't replied after I politely told him it wasn't on - yet another next - enjoy Mr French next week !

I had finally had a nice 1st date (worth reporting back about on here even )Squeezed it in tonight because tomorrow he is being posted for 7 wks to the other side of the world. FML
Planning on staying in touch through it and getting together when he gets back. Fingers crossed till then really.

No other real irons but my FWB is only the same base as him so some potential awkwardness right there....

Well. Mr Flaky has been and gone. He will not be returning but I'll leave him to figure that out. It's like there's a disconnection from how it was and I'm over it.

Meanwhile, Mr too good to be true called as promised and suddenly we'd been talking and laughing for 2 hours. The only snag so far is that he lives outside London and commutes in so it's an effort. Sounds promising though, we're meeting in town on Sunday morning

Crikey, I don't check in for a day and there's loads to read.

sky the same happened when I dated Mr Tall last year. I think it was nerves a bit. That said he had a bit of an issue with DTD in general and that was part of the reason things ended between us.

val I'd still give him a chance, especially as things had been going well. Although he should have at least asked first.

married good luck for Sunday. Sounds promising!

pud hope all goes with your Mr French!

spring 7 weeks isn't that long. Keep in touch with him and see what happens. At least he's coming back!

So I had a lovely text from Mr Academic after coffee on Weds. He's keen to see me again. He was lovely. Quite shy, but our whatsapping has increased since the date. I will see him again.

Today is my date with my Mr French. He is so hot! However, he is completely full of charm, and it wouldn't surprise me if he either has a few other women on the go or he simply lovebombs me. He told me if we had "sparkle" he'd ask me to be his girlfriend straightaway. Whilst that's very sweet, I've been lovebombed before and I know the signs. So I am going in expecting one afternoon of fun and nothing else. I do hope it leads to more, but I'm keeping expectations very low. I have been using WMLB tactics and they are working a treat, so will continue to apply those!

Mr Punk keeps messaging me even though I cancelled our date on Thursday. He talks about the connection he feels with me. Yet we've never met. He said he just wants to hold me forever....I just send back polite replies and talk about us being friends.
Mr Writer is back from his trip and keen to talk/meet. His POF profile photos were 3-4 years old. I've found his FB and seen more recent ones and I just don't find him attractive. He's very nice, but I know I need to tell him he's been friend-zoned.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Hi
Can anyone explain what "Love bombing " means? Think this has happened to me, so trying to look for signs that I missed
Thanks

Just checking in.....

I have just one guy that I am dating, the one who I didn't think I would get on with and low and behold we get on like a house on fire. We had 2nd Date last week where I got incredibly drunk (oops) and he still wanted to see me again....

I've quite suprised myself here because I did not think this had any potential before we met and when I met him it was like, BOOM CHICA WA WA..... I couldn't get over how much I fancied him & he carries himself really well.

He is 4 yrs older than me (this is clearly where I have been going wrong) and I don't feel like i have to second guess anything. Feels very easy & relaxed.

We are meeting on Sunday for brunch/lunch for date 3. Hoping this beautiful weather sticks around, as sitting outside & eating alfresco is totally where it is at for me right now.

He is totally unfazed at the fact I have a little boy and he is about as local as I am going to get round here..... we can meet halfway in 25 mins which is Ideal.

He's been single 2yrs and we talked a bit about what it was we were looking for, ultimately wants to settle down eventually, but he is just seeing where dating takes him as he hasn't met anyone who he had chemistry with - until now. 🙃🙈

I think I might keep this one around for a while as I am quite intrigued and totally mesmerized by him. The majority of the guys I have met have been a bit headfucky but this feels different.......calm, cool & genuine 😊😚

I had an iron who lives too far away from me & has become a bit too full on and intense (we have never met) and has had the occasional hissy fit at me when I suggested that he was being a little too full on. Red Flag Central. Trying to find a way to politely let him down gently because this will never work???

Hope you all have fun this weekend guys & gals x

vixen sounds great!!

tom Mr punk sounds a bit more love bomby to me. That sort of talk pre meet annoys me and puts me off. Because they can't possibly known if there would be chemistry and I wonder I if he does that with everyone. Mr french sounds ok ;)

I talked to my Mr french for ages last night, learnt more about him. He's interesting. Totally different upbringing to me. Basically he said he grew up in the ghetto in a big city but done did good, in comparison i supposed i had a privalged life although I was no angel growing up.

vixen that sounds fab! My Mr Academic is like that. We texted because of a mutual hatred of apostrophe abuse. Met in real life, and whilst he's shy found we had loads in common.

pud it hadn't occurred to me Mr Punk might be lovebombing me, but you could be right. I am tempted to meet him for a coffee, but have no plans to take it any further. Good luck to you and your Mr French. I talked to mine on the phone the other night and we got on really well. He keeps telling me how much he is looking forward to today. Maybe I need to stop seeing things in a cautious way and just see what happens. After various OLD experiences you can't help but go in with some trepidation.

Morning all, I'm back from my break. Not only have I had a break from OLD but I also had a holiday. A sort of working holiday and in my line of work there are mostly men . Sadly the guys on the holiday were all attached but very lovely. They made me realise that there are some great blokes out there and also the type of man I'm attracted to does exist in my age range.

We had quite a few evenings of chat and beer and somehow got on to the subject of me dating. They were horrified at some of the stories I told that had happened to me or others. But also offered some helpful (and not so helpful ) advice.

So I arrived home a few days ago, set up a new POF profile with new pics and OMG! it has gone mental. My new mantra is to let them come to me if they're interested after I discovered I'd been blocked on Match for 3 men because I'd dared to send a polite opening message. But I've been inundated with messages - most are too far away, including a rather yummy 37yr old .

I'm meeting one for drinks tonight and another for coffee tomorrow. Potentially have another date next weekend. And chatting with a couple of others.

I'm sure it won't last but I'm enjoying it for now.

runs that is great. I think sometimes a break can really do you good. You need to share your profile tips with me us! Good luck on your dates. Let us know how it goes.

Pudding - yes it is very exciting... but staying as cool as a cucumber for now. Keep thinking Matthew Hussy & WMLB mantras when I am feeling weak.

Tom - I think that sometimes it is easy to be dismissive of what is in front of you, I had made an assumption about this guy, thought he would bore the pants off me about his job, he wasn't much of a messager or texter, but couldn't be any further from that. He is very sharp witted and has a dark sense of humour that matches mine. Not to mention he is incredibly handsome and always smells divine.

I too am having a hard time being overcautious and expecting every single date to turn out badly, so hoping this is the start of something different.

Runs- I cannot wait to hear what this new round of OLD has in store for you. A new and improved RunsforCake. You go girl x

And I think I've been stood up!! Nothing at all from Mr French since last night. We were meant to meet around 2 today. I messaged at 12 to confirm plans. Nothing. I've just messaged again and said:
As I’ve not heard from you to confirm plans, I’m guessing you can’t meet up. So I hope you have a lovely afternoon and enjoy the sun!

He's been on WA but not read my messages. I was getting ready to go and give him the benefit of the doubt and thought why should I? He's not worth the effort. I had a suspicion he was flaky. He was full on and too good to be true. Sighs....