MsP it is on my to do list.
There’s no local programme. Nearest is about an hour away; which I’d be prepared to do if the timing is right. Tbh it’d be a miracle as school hours one day a week are really my only free time without giving up counselling on my other day off.
I will look at the online programme again.
I have read living with the dominator a couple of times over and can absolutely see the usefulness of it.
Would much prefer to sit in a room and be able to discuss it than be alone at home but if needs must. And they really must.
He doesn’t want them FT. But he’s becoming more and more of a dick about money. Not overtly. And not where I can challenge it.
It’s little things like they come home in clothes too small or worn out when they’ve gone in decent stuff. He’s wrangled his way out of the 2 meals a week he used to feed them and, though he’s gained an overnight with them which could potentially cut his maintenance payment, he only has 4 bowls of cereal to provide extra.
Or their trainers which I was trying to keep nice came back soaking wet and caked in mud. Burst laces. Broken zips on coats.
I gave up after the first Christmas trying to discuss gifts after being told it was none of my business what he was getting them from Santa as anything he (or his family) bought would be opened and stay in his house.
This year I got dd a Barbie house from Santa and a hover board from me. Both got for way below rrp (through a cashback site and using vouchers earned doing surveys to cut costs even more) as I’d been watching them for months.
In contrast, she had a chocolate bar maker from Santa at daddy’s. Ds got a gaming chair from him so not sure of the parity there. He got a Nintendo switch (again a good Black Friday deal) from me, well Santa, here.
I asked what the baby got and what dd told me probably cost the same as ds’s chair but dd said he’d got loads more but they’d opened them before they got there.
I don’t grudge what I spent as I budgeted to spend it. And the dc don’t get much the rest of the year because I want it to be special for as long as they believe. But it sticks in my throat that he gave dd something for £20 max as her main gift at Christmas when he gave her a bike in the summer for no other reason than he’d seen them on their bikes at mine that Friday pick up.
Anyway, I’m aware that’s petty 
They’ve had a pretty chilled out day. Ds had his best friend over for a bit and dd finally had a chance to play with her Barbie house properly.
They’ll have fun while I’m wirking tomorrow and we’ll have some fun when I get home.
We’re visiting friends (or they us) on Friday before my weekend working which is long hours both days as they’re usually at their dads. Doubt there’ll be much fun for me with them but the bf will entertain them. They really like him a lot 
.
School Monday and reality bites.
But positives are there if I choose to see them, and I’m trying to.
I’m aiming for indifference wrt LCB. It’s a slow process but if I can iron out the bits that the dc aren’t happy about it’ll help.
He’s a douche. But I married him. I had dc with him. I need to deal with it.