I am onit, hear me ROAR (occasionally)

[onitlikeacarbonnet]

Thread no.5

Hope you all find me or I’ll just be talking to myself.

Delurking to say stick to the order! He wanted it, he chose to move away, he deals with the ramifications of it.
Also if you have the children to make his life easier will he try and use it to get overnights on school nights which is what he is after?

Ah just seen! Great response!

Good response. I hope you're feeling better.

My ex bitches and moans (to my 15 year old daughter, not me) that it's not fair that she goes on holiday with me more often than with him.
Mate, she goes to the doctors and dentist with me, clothes shopping with me, parent teacher conferences with me, gets dropped off and picked up from parties by me, get's up at 5.30am 3 times a week for sports practice with me. She gets her phone bill paid by me, Bus pass supplied by me, lives under my roof 90% of the time with all those costs born by me with not a penny of maintenance paid out of your not inconsiderate salary. When you start complaining about that maybe we can talk!
Day to day parenting is in part hanging around waiting for kids to finish clubs, school etc. As somebody upthread said he could use this time to sit down with his child and help out with some homework, talk with his son about how he is doing at school, you know, parenting. It's not all fun and games, it's a lot of tedium and hanging about, if he had a home nearby he could get other things done in that time but he made his bed. Good for you for insisting he lays in it!

Well done onit... absolutely right that he sticks to what he actually asked for. And if he has to use his imagination and sort something out for the kids for those few hours then so be it. As pp said a lot of parenting is sitting around waiting to pick them up and drop them off ( and as they get older this gets worse as I can attest!) so he will just have kids suck it up.

That’s a great response, Onit. Would it be patronising of me to say well done? Hope not, because I think you should be so proud of how far you have come. 💐

Perfect response Onit. Hope you're feeling better?

I’ve dragged myself into work every day these last 2 weeks or so.
I’m better physically (it doesn’t hurt to walk or just shift in my seat) but mentally I feel broken.
I just want to go to sleep and wake up in 6 months and it’s all over.

Just caught up on the last few weeks, Onit. Does lcb have DC this weekend? If so spend time catching up on sleep. You're handling everything so very well. Agree with your DS and DD that the 3 of you have no secrets from each other, bar happy surprises. Hope the herpes attack clears up. Do you take any kind of immune boosting supplements and are you eating ok? for you.

Hope Your feeling better, and are having a quite weekend.

Did LCB reply to you text. Do you have somewhere to go on Monday incase he decides to bring DS home and ignore your text.

Unfortunately I work the weekend the dc are at their dads so had little chance of rest.

Last week I was at home just before he would’ve dropped dd off but I went out for half an hour and only went home after he texted.
I’m sure he won’t ignore it as I sent it as an email with screenshots of the texts attached so he couldn’t “forget” what had been said.
But, I haven’t had a reply, no.

I’m feeling a lot better. A little discomfort still but it’s not painful anymore. I do have a bad cold though and I’m really tired.
My dc are off Monday/Tuesday this week so at least we’ve no alarms to get up for. Then I’m not back to work till Thursday.
Hopefully I’ll be recovered by then.
I took the last of the antivirals today.
Can’t wait for my bed tonight.

I hope you slept well. Glad the infection is clearing up. It sounds like your immune system is low - I think from all the stress. It has a physical impact as well as a mental one. I hope this evening goes ok.

Yes best wishes for a smooth Monday night. I'm laid up with a chest infection (now in week 3) and thoroughly fed up!!

Hopefully LCB will just suck up having to parent !

Get well soon nigel
I’m so hoping my cold is on its way out. My cough is killing my sore back but it’s at least a productive cough so I’m getting rid of everything boak .
I’ve got nothing to report tonight.
He brought the dc back on time last night and came for pick up this afternoon.
When he dropped them off a wee while ago I had to pop to a friends house round the corner to drop something and I left dd at the park with her friend. I told dd that her other friend had knocked for her while she was out. She was annoyed she’d missed that.
Ds and I walked and chatted. I asked what he’d done with his dad. They’d driven to his house. Ds said it felt like he’d spent most of the time in the car. That he didn’t want to do that all the time.
I asked if the reporter had been to see them at his dads and he said not yet.
We talked about where we live and he said it was good we lived where he had lots of friends and that he could go out lots. That lots of people knocked for him and his sister. I said that when he gets a wee bit older he’ll be able to walk to his friends who live that bit further away too (a few streets. ATM he’s allowed to go to the next street where his best pal lives, or round the corner to school or the ‘big park’.
He said he saw his dad enough “more than most people see their dads as part of their family”.
I said he should remember these kinds of things when the reporter speaks to him.
He said he didn’t want to give his opinion to the reporter.
I said he only had to say what he thought. Not what he thinks I want him to or what his dad wants him to. To just tell him how things are. But it was ok to say he didn’t know, if he didn’t. I said there’s no right or wrong answer.
He asked why I was “protesting” against his dad and I said I was defending against him because he’d taken me to court. That I didn’t agree with what he wanted and I had no other choice but to defend myself.

I wonder why the reporter hasn’t been back in touch with me. He said he’d come back at least once more.
I’m curious about what shite lcb has spouted. I wonder if he’s told lies or omitted information. If he squirmed when the reporter asked about his affair.
I wonder if he cried.
I bet he did.

I will be better prepared when he comes back.
I have printed out the transcript of the text messages. Even if it isn’t admissible it’ll put it in his head.
I also have the document I prepared for my lawyer which I think I should use as reference and go through point by point. I was all over the place when he first came round.
If he asks to see any particular evidence I can tell him my lawyer has all the relevant emails and text messages which he’s welcome to look at.

I am feeling a lot better so my mind is going over lots of things I’ve not given any thought to the last couple of weeks.

Still wish it was all over though.

To clarify, my dc are off for the September weekend (Scottish school holiday) so no clubs or things tonight.
Totally forgot no one but us are off today.

"Protesting against his Dad"?? That sounds rather like lcb is having a weeny shit-stir to the DC. It's not the sort of thing a youngish child would come out with. It's good you're being honest with them. You need to be to counteract the bullshit he's peddaling to them.

I'm so glad you're feeling better. You sound much better tonight .

I asked him where he heard that word Agatha.
And I told him that when someone takes you to court it’s called defending yourself.

He does have a good vocabulary (we are avid readers) but I’m pretty sure I’ve not heard that before.

If it comes up again I would reiterate that these are the days and times that daddy ask the court for and he got them so they have to go as it’s daddy time with them. And you are not allowed to interfere with their time with daddy just as he not allowed to interfere with their time with you.

"Protesting against his Dad"?? That sounds rather like lcb is having a weeny shit-stir to the DC

I’m inclined to think the wee one came up with it himself. That if LCB had said anything he’d have made a much better job of it.

No, sorry, "protesting against daddy", is not a child like expression where I come from. LCB is doing some preparatory indoctrination

I think it’s such a strange way of putting it that only a child could come up with it. It just doesn’t sound nasty enough for LCB. I’d have thought he could do better than that.

It was an ideal chance for Onit to reply no, daddy is protesting against me - and I don’t think LCB would leave himself open to that.

I think "protesting against Daddy" could be a combination of things.

Perhaps he's heard his dad & ow complain about you 'protesting all the time' and then he's seen news clips about 'protests against xyz' and he's put the two ideas together.

It's good you are being honest with him. It's a tricky line to walk I'm sure.

Any news on the recorder return visit?

I don’t think it’s come from his dad because, as you say, he’d have come up with a better word.

I’ve had an email about Mondays.
He is using much more considered language. I guess because he knows it’s not being read just by me.
He asks me to rethink my decision about Mondays.
How if I don’t itll probably mean dd not being able to go to her club (she will be gutted) and also, when I’d agreed to take dd early, he and ds had discussed lots of things they could do together and now ds would be disappointed that those things couldn’t happen. And instead they’d all be having a very early meal before DD’s club and then returning to a cafe after she was dropped off because in winter there’s nowhere else to go for an hour.

His opening line was can I ask you to reconsider?

I’m so torn.
I want him to suck it up. The difficulty. The boredom.
On the other had his emotional blackmail is working. My dd will be devastated to miss out on her club.
I can hear my lawyer saying everything I decide has to be in the dcs best interest.
For dd, that could be taking her after school and feeding her before her club, or lcb spending that time with her and taking her to her club.
For ds, I think he’d
However, this isn’t my decision. It’s like lcb is inviting me into disregarding the sheriffs order. To prove what? That I disrespect authority? Because I disrespect his authority?

I’m feeling under pressure.
And it’s paralysing.

Not heard from the reporter again yet Think.
I’d hoped to hear that the dc would be seen soon. They’re asking. I think they’re feeling not a little stress about it too. Though I have reassured them it’s not a big deal, just a chat.