NC (No Contact) thread #11: learning all the way

[Belonger]

A thread for anyone going/maintaining/struggling with/succeeding in going NC with someone for whatever reason. No judgement, just lots of support. All different situations welcome.

Many of us have found www.baggagereclaim.co.uk useful, worth a look for helpful articles and podcasts

Good morning everyone! It's s bright, sunny day here and I think I'll take LO to the park and go to John Lewis as he needs shoes and they do great chips 😃 Love a window shop in John Lewis. How is everyone today?

Day 56 . He is beginning to recede more and I am not tempted by his offer to stay "friends" so that he can know what is going on in my life and he can "feed" off me .

Good luck everyone whatever stage/purpose you are at/have.

Wow Viley lovely to see someone at the year mark. Perhaps you could give us the benefit of your wisdom if you've time.

Basseting. I hear ya. At the moment I'd have rather missed the dance too. How are you my lovely ?

Oldbrook well done on Day 8.

Morning Literary sounds like a nice day planned.

Bloody you are an absolute inspiration. Day 56. I'm in awe

Morning Belonger how are you?

Day 18 here

No you’re right partinglass. I know I’ve got to get my shut together for the future. We both have to be parents still which is gonna mean working together for many years. No backstory really but I just tried everything and gave so much to be turned on and have my child taken from my life by the person I thought was my best friend 😞

In a bit of a state this morning. Only three hours sleep.

Certainly for me i wish i'd never met him (or at least left it in the past).
I am currently managing not to add extra pain by contact (atm, anyway!) but this means I cannot put off the processing of all the stored up pain from last year and the last 25+ years. It is agony.
Last night was dream free though thank goodness.

Waves to all this am. Puts on coffee, makes Danish. pours cocktails. Are my cafe gang still around?

I'll have a frozen strawberry daquiri Basseting. I feel it's going to be that sort of a day

Cappuccino for me bassetting 😊. Phew I'm glad last night was dream free, hopefully you'll have a better day than yesterday.

Dimael sorry you're feeling miserable. I found it helpful to tell myself he definitely wasn't going to call so as not to get my hopes up. Are you going NC to try to get him back? Or to grieve, heal and move on? I would tell yourself you're going for the second even if deep down it's the first. In my case it was the second right from the off but even so it's so hard to give up on hope. Hope you're feeling a bit better today.

Missing him today. I'm going to miss our weekend adventures to the coast or the hills in his caravan. However I have booked two short breaks for the summer with my children. This time last year I hadn't even met him so it's perfectly believable that I could meet someone else if I wanted.

Pot of Earl Grey for me please basseting!

You're so brave, you're in such a stronger place than when I first met you

Hi, right sorry popped out.
Belonger pot of EG coming up (that's my tea too!)

OldBrook 1 home measures G&T on it's way (yum!)

NK strawberry daiquiri huh? bit glam for me, let me brush up my cocktail skills and I'll rustle one up for you right away.x

Lass a capp and some homemade shortbread on the side?

I stumbled across a couple of emails from him earlier whilst searching for something. My book plan I'd sent him last May. Bugger never even replied. Funny how I'd 'forgotten' that.

Hi all

Vanilla latte please Basseting. Glad you were dream free. It is funny what we forget.

Well done everyone on your NC count.

Large gin and orange for me please 🍸

NC replied to my work email with same formality that I sent it in - I work for a heating firm so may tell the plumber to accidentally drill through his pipe work ☺️

I really want to message and say sorry can we work it out but I mustn't as nothing will change and I'll still be in the same position

OMG OMG OMG....
Searching through old paperwork looking for a certificate I have found loads of old love letters from DOM from 1990... AND lots of grumpy notes etc too. I am trying not to read them...

Awww Bassetting that's tough

Save them for another day basseting

Hi, not sure what wisdom I have but eventually I deleted him on FB, got a new number. Did not speak to him at all even when it seemed just friendly or harmless. Xx I know it's easier said than done.

Argh I messaged him!! He replied. All very polite. And you know what? It didn't bother me in the slightest. There was no pang of regret or wanting to say something or any sadness or wishing things were different. I take that as a huge positive sign

Great advice viley, I think I'm about there with the not contacting even when it seems harmless. I've done that a few times and it's ended up harmful. I'm happy now with the thought of no more contact at all. Thanks for sharing!

What motivated you to message him literary?

Hi Belonger, I don't know really but had been thinking about all the good times and all the things he'd given me that I'm very grateful for so wanted to say thank you to wrap that up. It's left me feeling no different to I felt yesterday or any other day since we split so to me it's sort of proved that I was right to end things but not in s negative way if that makes sense. I e made peace with things I suppose.

I posted it all wrong!! Meant new thread.