It's not 10 steps back if you haven't sent the message hun. Nothing wrong with typing out a message to send him. In fact I might write one later - without ever sending it.
Just remember what you said in your last message to him, that 'the offer is there' for him. He now has that offer and who knows, maybe he'll message you in the next few days or in a couple of weeks. Maybe he's expecting you to reach out still, and is sat waiting for that because he's so sure he's going to get you running back.
I'm not going to look at this whole NC thing as I'll never see or speak to him again. I think that's what is really hurting me. I don't hate him as a person, we would have made amazing friends had I not fallen for him, and had he not wanted me. But that's where the problem is, if I went back now as 'friends' he's too flirtatious and I'm too into him to not go back there. But who knows in a years time or maybe less, if I've moved on, maybe I could be his friend. Maybe I won't want to - he would still flirt with me even if I had moved on I know that. For me right now, it's easier on myself if I imagine that at some point in the future I'll get in touch with him and we can be friends. However, I'm hoping by the time I decide we could be friends I'll have got over him altogether and not be bothered.
I updated my Facebook profile picture to a photo of me last night. So pathetic, but I hope he see's it and misses me. I doubt he'll even check my SM though to be honest.
Got a kids party this afternoon, really not in the mood for screaming kids. Already had to take tablets for a headache - probably from my overthinking brain rather than anything else though.