NC (No Contact) thread #11: learning all the way

[Belonger]

A thread for anyone going/maintaining/struggling with/succeeding in going NC with someone for whatever reason. No judgement, just lots of support. All different situations welcome.

Many of us have found www.baggagereclaim.co.uk useful, worth a look for helpful articles and podcasts

So I finally decided to read the message sent from NC to me after he asked why I blocked him and I told him he hurt me and how I am too hurt to ever see or speak to him again.

All I got back was a 'I wish you all the best' - THAT WAS IT. No "I'm so sorry I hurt you" nothing. What a MORON.

I have blocked him on Facebook now so there will never be any contact ever again. I am so hurt and disgusted by this heartless pathetic excuse for a human.

*Meowimacat
*
Ouch, it hurts when you get that sort of reply..... but it's good!!

Well done for blocking him! You can totally focus and just cut him out now!!

He'll never be sorry, they never seem to think they've behaved poorly

meow what absolute prick.

I told my NC I didn't want to be fwb and all I got back was ok. It's infuriating.

I just keep remembering the damage that would be getting done if we weren't NC. But god I still wish he'd text me.

My dc are at their dad's all weekend. I have no plans, it'll be hard not to text him.

Well done to everyone who is staying strong.

I was NC with the same guy for 8 months....i felt like a new person. I was finally rid if him. Then at the beginning of this year he messaged me to say he was available & it set me back. So I know I can do it & you all can too.

He lives literally 60 seconds from me and I want to check his car is there. Please tell me not to ! Am on day 8 and it’s killing me

Do not check if his car is there. Even if it isn't, how are you going to know where he is. Your mind will go into overdrive. Get an early night.

I blocked him and Facebook popped up saying "Twat Face is blocked. We are sorry you had to experience this" HAHAHAHAHAHA at least I got an apology from Facebook!!!!!

To be honest his response has done me a favour. As my friend said, he is probably just bitter that I blocked him everywhere and I've hurt his ego - the only thing that can hurt him.

I just can't believe I have agonised for days over his message and the fact it could have been something that would make me want him back - y'know him telling me how sorry he is and that he misses me. I can't believe I have been worried he might turn up at my house or write me an apologetic letter and post it through my door. When in actual fact, he's probably given this no thought at all.

I feel for the next girl who enters his life, because he is just a USER.

This is the last night I will allow myself to mope around over him. I've not done any of the things I should have done tonight as I've been so stressed about reading such a crappy and unimportant message from a total loser. Tomorrow I focus on ME again and everything I want to accomplish in life.

@meowimacat well done on the strong attitude after disappointing messages from the NC. Go focus on yourself, keep busy and one day he will see you and regret his behaviour.

Pineapple - hope you resisted the urge to check the car.

Meow - my finally message I didn't even get a a message back. I just saw he read it... and I waited and waited and then I just deleted from everything. Still nothing!

I hate some people honestly

Why not be outright from the start and say, this isn't for me. I don't want to be part of it or whatever. Why do they drag it out and then make you feel like it's your fault for trying so much

I caved in and text him last night. He hasn't replied.

I think I needed this for the penny to drop that he's a user who's not interested in me.

Onwards and upwards

Popsjjx - I totally agree with you, that's the thing that's been going around in my head all day. Why do people lead you on. Fair enough if they don't really want anything from day 1, but why lead me on when he knew I did. When I gave my ALL to this dickhead. I'm so sorry you didn't even get a message back, I guess at least I got something back an to be honest the response I got was all I needed to know I should never contact him again. I think I hurt his ego by blocking him and not explaining so he barely wanted to say anything back. I know he's not even thinking of me, so why am I thinking of him. ARGH

pineapple Let us know when he responds, don't beat yourself up but yes you need to realise he is just using you. If he cared, he'd respond. I'm sure he will in time, but still...time to move on!

Have resisted the urge all day, it’s so hard, I want to text him, see him, but then what’s the point, The lack of contact back is worse I think, I almost want an acknowledgement that he’s been horrid.

Meow - no response is a response I guess. I sent him a scan photo of ya unborn child, he ignored it and it's kind of sunk in. So I sent it the message and that's it I guess.

You have hurt his ego, and that'll bother him, but he won't be the one to chase you, because he thinks you'll cave and do It.

I feel you, I think of him all the time. ALL THE TIME. It's awful to know it's so one sided it's the worst..

pineapple - if he doesn't respond don't text again, if he does respond and it's a poor response don't even bother with him

Fluffy - well done!! Keep it up. You'll get that acknowledgment of a read message or a rubbish answer. Stay focus x

No response still...I'm.wondering whether I typed his number in correctly. I deleted it from my sent messages straight away as I regretted sending it pretty much straight away. So I can't check if I got the number right.

I'm exhausted with it all today. It's like a worm in my brain consuming every second. I wish I could switch it off as I know he's really not worth it.

Some Friday night motivation to keep us ladies strong!

Love the quotes Dimael I have SO many saved in my phone so thought I’d share some. If you guys are on insta follow r.h.sin!

Few more lol

pineapple you would have got his number right i'm sure. You see you're making excuses for him not replying to make it as though hopefully you're not right that he's ignoring you. :(

popsjjx what an awful thing to ignore. What an awful guy, you are so better off without. I know easier said than felt though

Fluffyflump why not change your attitude to 'if i don't reach out he will be more likely to reach out to me' - because to be honest, it's the more likely way for it to work anyway. If you reach out you'll probably be ignored.

How is everyone this evening? I'm shattered, had to work this evening and take my kids along which is exhausting. They are finally asleep after messing about all evening. Now I should be tidying my house as it's a mess but all I want to do is mope about and do nothing. I've had ups and downs all day, I guess now this really is the beginning of NC forever for me. Or at least until I have zero feelings for him. I can't tell if it's even worth a friendship with this guy though, all he has are female friends and it's clearly cos he keeps them around in hope of a shag. I see it all so clearly now. But still, I have my weak moments where I want him like an idiot.

Yes meow you're spot on there.

Loving the quotes. A couple of them made me a bit emotional!

My mum says to me "why would you want someone who doesn't want You"

"No man is worth your tears & the one who is won't make you cry" is another good one.

I'm more upset that I let him.back in after months of no contact & now he's gone again. Arsehole. I was weak & hopeful

I need support tonight. There was a guy who asked me out a week after my relationship with NC ended and I said no because I wasn’t ready. Now I started to change my mind maybe and he is dating someone else. I feel all alone again. I didn’t fancy him and it’s stupid but I feel slighted. It makes me miss my ex more again.

@meowimacat love the quotes! I spend my life on Pinterest saving them! It really helps motivate and inspire me!

Dimael
The attention is nice isn't it after a break up, even if you don't fancy them. Until recently I don't think I've been single for any length of time since my uni days. That's nearly 20 years. I always feared having no one to love me or to love. I wish I'd have known how fulfilling it is to be on my own. I love it. You'll get there. Slow and steady.

@literarydevil too right! I couldn’t stand the thought of kissing him and he is such a negative person. My gut instinct said no he won’t be good for you then when he drops interest I change my mind! I guess my mind is still in a muddle. I was single for 5 years before my latest NC so I know i’ll be ok.

Meow - it's happened and taken ages for it all to sink in how awful he is, but I'm still having to find ways to distract myself.

Dimael - you feeling like you want to date this guy coz you're feeling lonely?? If so, you're right to have said no anyway.... give yourself time.

The quotes were good guys! I have one I'll try and find it and post it later .....

Hope everyone's doing ok this evening! Resisting the urge!

Honestly, I feel like this thread has saved me multiple times this week, I've wanted to give in, but I've just read advice from others to others and it's like

Stay strong!!

Everyone should be proud of the progress they've made even 1 day with no contact is one day you've realised you're worth more!!

I like that we all do this 😀😀

@popsjjx it doesn’t make sense does it, to only want someone or anyone because you are lonely. I could list the reasons I turned him down twice already! Mainly the fact that he only messages me about doom and gloom and @literarydevil has taught me to stay well clear of negative men! But now he takes his interest away I change my mind. 4 weeks no contact on Sunday and I guess this is too soon to move on from my NC. My heart doesn’t beat like it did for him but the remaining love is quietly in the background where I hid it.

Love those quotes Fluffyflump especially the at your best not being good enough for the wrong person. I couldn't have tried any more.

I actually prefer myself single, no drama with a man (unless I allow one in lol), more time for my friends and myself.

I've had ups and downs today but tonight feeling a bit more positive. I know it'll be up and down for a while, but I know that how I feel right now is just temporary upset. It will pass.

Thing is though with OLD, I just find every guy is all about sex. I've been trying to get into it, but even when I've just said how I'm not about sex chat they start getting sexual!!! This is how NC hooked me in, he wasn't sexual and seemed respectful so I thought he was different. He's probably worse than most of these guys for actually being sexual etc. I've also found him on Tinder and he's changed photos now so I know he's back on it to meet people.

Dimael- there was a reason you said no to the other guy so focus on that. Your only having regrets because you're feeling lonely. Stay strong.

Fluffy- love those 2 quotes. The peace & pieces one is so true.

I was just thinking how much this thread is helping me. It's comforting to know others are going through the same, though I wish we all weren't.