I really thought my guy was wonderful, I really did. He seemed interesting and interested in me (maybe too interested in what I did), he seemed great with the kids, took me loads of places that I wanted to go, was generous with his time and sometimes his money, had a good job, was on good terms with his ex, similar interests in outdoor stuff, he was very affectionate and loving and treated me great. Initially. Then things started to crumble very slightly about 2.5 months in. Not enough to worry about. Then there was something major after 4.5 months and it never fully recovered and then at Christmas there was too much damage and n interest on his part to take any responsibility to try and fix it.
Here's my list at the end of the relationship: (it's copied and pasted larger than this text for some reason)
Habits:
Bit his nails/horrible rough and catchy skin as a result
Fork scraping. Ugh. Every. Fucking. Time.
Slurped hot drinks
Noisy eater-sounded like trainers in a washing machine
Too much coffee-coffee breath
Hocking snot up in a morning
Sprawling out over the bed when awake so I had no room
Asking for affection and kisses like he asked his daughter. Ugh.
Leaving clothes in the middle of the floor
Leaving shoes at the bottom of the stairs causing a trip hazard
Never offering to help clear up after meals. Think he did it once or twice.
Not locking house doors overnight or leaving the key in
Not locking car doors leaving valuables in
Leaving cups/plates/glasses wherever he’d had them
Leaving wet towels on the floor
Leaving the shower so it sprays out the door despite being asked not to
Sticking out his tongue during sex so if you went to kiss him you got stiff tongue. Ugh.
Needing the lights on. Yawn.
Personal hygiene/appearance:
Not seen a dentist in 3 years. Bad breath.
Excessive visible ear wax. Yack.
Bitten nails
Long toe nails. Troll feet. Disgusting. Horrible if anywhere near my feet.
Wouldn’t shave on weekends. Painful stubble. Didn’t shave for dates either.
Obese and no motivation to change despite health issues
Bald patch (not his fault admittedly)
Really long pubes. Very off putting.
Small dick. Sigh.
Personality:
Sulked
Whined
Manipulated
Controlling - sex, finances, parenting, dates, meals
Victim mentality
Critical of parenting, my parents, My son, my spending habits
Could never say sorry
Never culpable
Boring
Not proactive in anything in life
Insulting and disparaging
Disrespectful of my family
No respect of personal boundaries
Lazy
No backbone
Poor manners
Misc.:
Kids badly behaved and poor manners
Emotionally married to ex-wife. Doormat to her.
Too reliant on elderly mother
Hated his job and moaned about it all the time but did nothing about it
Awful taste in music
No hobbies
No outside interests apart from cricket, cycling but only seasonal
Didn’t like Christmas and disparaged my love of the festive season
House dirty and very messy (and mine is no way near perfect)
Couldn’t cook. Never cooked for me. Didn’t even try.
No passion
No goals
No ambition
SNORING!!! I’d end up on the sofa and he’d complain! WTF!
No discipline with his kids, no boundaries, no consequences
What a catch he was eh?! That list opened my eyes dramatically. I felt like a bitch for doing it as we had done great times together but the list is the reality of who he is. Not good at all and these bad things appeared very early on. He didn't try to hide them for long, or maybe couldn't. He of course saw nothing wrong with who he was and how he behaved though.
I've shared my list to help you think about your NC's bad points and why you are better off without him, not so you feel obliged to share with strangers!