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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Is DH making a fool of me?

151 replies

Raspberry21 · 01/04/2018 16:18

My DH runs a business with another woman and they get on really well together. Because of the nature of the business, they are together most of the day and during the evening they're together entertaining clients. I hardly see him. I'm feeling very left out and jealous of the time he and the woman spend together. I've never met her. This has been going on for 5 months and I told him this weekend how miserable I am and the feelings of jealousy I've been suffering. He said he understood and that he loves me yet today, Easter Sunday, he's gone out to meet her to do some work in a local cafe.

I'm so upset. I think I want to leave him as I feel he's making a fool of me. Should I be more patient and stay or show some self-respect and go?

OP posts:
Wadingthroughshit · 01/04/2018 16:24

I think it may be an idea to discuss with him again if this is the only issue?? Do you feel something is going on between them? I suppose if it was a man he was working with you may not feel this way? But perhaps the fact that he works so many hours is the main issue, you said day times and evenings and weekends, that’s a lot and would get anybody down and frustrated and leverhoh feeling left out, even if this woman wasn’t in the picture. So maybe there are tow things going on; working hours and woman.

HoursOfFun · 01/04/2018 16:26

Sorry but it sounds like an affair - EA at least

Who works in a cafe on Easter Sunday?

HollowTalk · 01/04/2018 16:28

Whether or not he's with her, it's wrong that you haven't met her and it's wrong that you don't spend any time with him. I feel for you - jealousy is such a powerful emotion.

WhoWants2Know · 01/04/2018 16:42

What cafe is open on Easter Sunday?

AnyFucker · 01/04/2018 16:45

Huh ?

Original poster
Raspberry21 · 01/04/2018 16:47

Thank you for your support everyone. It really is jealousy of the woman, I feel and I've been feeling it for 5 months now. I just feel like enough is enough. I do love him though which makes leaving hard but I've got to look after myself

OP posts:
upsideup · 01/04/2018 16:47

Sorry but it sounds like an affair

How? It sounds like the man is business partners with a female which means they have to work together and see each other often.

Original poster
Raspberry21 · 01/04/2018 16:48

She came to pick him up to take him to the cafe that's open on Easter Sunday and he told her he'd wait for her outside. He really doesn't want us to meet!

OP posts:
Blit · 01/04/2018 16:49

Do you have children Raspberry?

Oneapenny · 01/04/2018 16:50

Why can’t he have a day off on a bank holiday and spend it with you?

KeepCalm · 01/04/2018 16:52

Why on earth haven't you met her yes @Raspberry21 !?

Plenty cafes open on Easter Sunday. We had a lovely brunch out....

And am self employed and can understand the need to throw oneself at a new business 110% but not to keep work and partner so separated that they haven't met yet!?

Mix56 · 01/04/2018 16:54

What was stopping them do work at your home , you have an internet connection. You could meet her.

Sorry, my guess is he's got something to hide.

KeepCalm · 01/04/2018 16:55

*yet

MudCity · 01/04/2018 16:55

He should surely introduce you. Waiting outside for her is a weird thing to do.

Ask him to invite her round to meet you. If he won’t do that then I would be asking him why.

Flowers
mumgointhroughtorture · 01/04/2018 16:56

A cafe on Easter Sunday ? Something don't add up .
I think you have reason to have jealousy issues .

notapizzaeater · 01/04/2018 16:57

Cafes round us are open today, that aside - why does he not want you to meet her?

Ryder63 · 01/04/2018 17:01

This would drive me into a frenzy! he waited outside for her to pick him up? WTF?

Original poster
Raspberry21 · 01/04/2018 17:03

Yes Blit, I do have 3 children so I really need to think of them too

OP posts:
Original poster
Raspberry21 · 01/04/2018 17:05

I don't know notapizzaeater - that's what puzzles me too. I've asked to meet her too, it's really odd. Why does he want to keep us separate?

OP posts:
Jon66 · 01/04/2018 17:05

How rude your husband is. If my other half were spending that much time with another colleague, I would expect to meet them especially if they were being picked up from home.

mzcracker · 01/04/2018 17:08

I don't know if you have reason to be jealous but it's interesting that he doesn't want you to meet her.
That would be raising some concerns for me.

whichwayisitnow · 01/04/2018 17:11

Oh dear.

Petalflowers · 01/04/2018 17:11

IT seems strange to work on Easter Sunday (or do they run the cafe).

I agree with Mud, invite her around, or find an excuse to visit his place of work, or to meet him for lunch.

Must admit, I would probably snoop on Facebook to see what her status says. Maybe also his phone. Has he become secretive with his phone recently.

Does she know he us married with kids?

Cafes open on Easter Sunday is not weird. Priotising work over family today is.

JaneEyre70 · 01/04/2018 17:13

Whether he's having an affair or not, his behaviour is making you unhappy. That alone would be a massive red flag for me.

NotTheFordType · 01/04/2018 17:22

Originally I was going to say that it sounds like he's just throwing himself into the business, which is necessary when you're setting one up and hopefully the workload will reduce.

But waiting for her outside? And it's not been that warm today. Going to that length to stop you meeting is downright odd.

(Plenty of cafes open round here BTW.)

Is the business a B2B proposition? (business to business)

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