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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Is DH making a fool of me?

151 replies

Raspberry21 · 01/04/2018 16:18

My DH runs a business with another woman and they get on really well together. Because of the nature of the business, they are together most of the day and during the evening they're together entertaining clients. I hardly see him. I'm feeling very left out and jealous of the time he and the woman spend together. I've never met her. This has been going on for 5 months and I told him this weekend how miserable I am and the feelings of jealousy I've been suffering. He said he understood and that he loves me yet today, Easter Sunday, he's gone out to meet her to do some work in a local cafe.

I'm so upset. I think I want to leave him as I feel he's making a fool of me. Should I be more patient and stay or show some self-respect and go?

OP posts:
Mix56 · 01/04/2018 21:50

He has chosen to ditch his family for the "partner" on Easter Sunday. So basically it's curtains.

Voice0fReason · 01/04/2018 22:08

All sounds very odd. His behaviour is too secretive.
I would want answers.

TiredMummy18 · 01/04/2018 22:34

It all sounds too shady, who doesn’t have their partner as a Facebook friend? It’s just so suspicious!
You’d be doing the right thing to confront him. His reaction will tell you everything. Hope it’s going ok.

MyOtherProfile · 01/04/2018 22:41

Is he friends with her on FB OP?

eridanus · 01/04/2018 23:45

Who does not have their partner as a facebook friend, marital status listed etc. away working on Easter Sunday??? You sound like a volcano about to erupt OP. Subtle but there. I think he will be shocked to his core.

Rosielily · 02/04/2018 09:49

There are so many questions here:

Is there actually a "business"? Records, documents, accounts? Online presence - LinkedIn, for example? What is the business? What is the financial position? What does he contribute to the family pot?

Nowhere2turn · 02/04/2018 10:13

I hope your ok OP..... I'm a bit worried you haven't responded for so long.

Hope it turned out ok for... whatever you decided to do

Thinkingofausername1 · 02/04/2018 16:11

Sorry but sounds like an affair no where was open yesterday. I would definitely feel unhappy too in your situation and you should have met this lady by now.
He is being secretive and This is not good. I think you should arrange for the lady to come for dinner, one day, and see what the atmosphere is like between the 3 of you.

Thinkingofausername1 · 02/04/2018 16:17

Should have read through before I replied! Hope you're ok op. You deserve much better xx

Tinkie25 · 02/04/2018 16:45

Seems off that he doesn’t want you to meet her.

Hope you’re okay OP

Caroline680 · 02/04/2018 16:48

Or. It’s a bloke?

Iona1 · 02/04/2018 17:01

Red flag is showing here sorry you need to check out this woman he spends so much time for , at least for your own sanity 5 months of not knowing is a long time for you take care hope everything works out okay .

Original poster
Raspberry21 · 02/04/2018 19:32

Thanks everyone for your messages. They really help. DH came home and we talked. He agreed his behaviour has been poor towards me and said he's going to make some changes. So we'll wait and see what happens Hmm

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 02/04/2018 19:34

What exactly is he going to do ?

SandraGreen · 02/04/2018 19:41

Did he explain why he has been spending all day and every evening with another woman rather than with his wife and children?

I would be off to be honest.

Oddcat · 02/04/2018 19:44

Did you ask specific questions? Ie why has he not let you meet this woman? What was so urgent he had to spend Easter with her ? Why did they go to a cafe and not the office ?

I still wouldn't be happy .

Oddcat · 02/04/2018 19:45

What exactly is he going to do ?

Be more careful, I reckon Sad

Schlimbesserung · 02/04/2018 19:50

Did he agree to let you meet her?

MistressDeeCee · 02/04/2018 19:52

I would love to know what kind of business entails them working all day AND evenings, taking clients out? (So wining and dining together). When does your DH have anything to do with his DC?

Agree with this.

Your DH has no manners whatsoever OP - cheeky fucker. He's checked out of your marriage and family life and carrying on with another woman under your nose. Nonsense that they have to work on Easter Sunday. He just didn't want to take the day off and be away from her

To be honest I'd have had this out with them both already. Wonder what story he's spun her that she's also ok with not meeting you, just turning up outside yours?

LML83 · 02/04/2018 20:07

Has he given you access to facebook? that's a change he could make straight away.

Hope he does change OP.

Hotdoggity · 02/04/2018 21:12

Why are you all so cross that OP is feeling much better and has spoken frankly with her husband?

Personalsituations99 · 02/04/2018 21:15

Yes he is making a fool of you.
Don't listen the spiel that he will change.
He hasn't been at a cafe from AM to PM.
He won't let you meet her.
Ditches Easter Sunday for another woman (work)
Won't add you on Facebook...

Yeah I think I would chuck his arse out. There isn't any sugar coating this. It's blatantly obvious!

I really hope you're okay and please let us all know Flowers

Petalflowers · 02/04/2018 21:19

I’m glad you have had ‘The Chat’ and he has recognised that his behaviour has been poor. Hopefully he will change and things will improve.

Charley50 · 02/04/2018 22:08

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Original poster
Raspberry21 · 02/04/2018 22:48

I wish it was, Charley50!

OP posts:
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