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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

think I may have been right

957 replies

isheisnthe · 10/05/2007 06:59

DP has been very cool with me for about a month after a disaterious weekend away with the family, where he was very nasty and selfish. When we came home he moved in to the spare room and has been there since on and off.

Last week he announced that he wanted to split up - I was shocked. Our relationship (like most peoples) goes in peaks and troughs and I wasn't expecting it. I have begged and pleaded to make this work, esp for the sake of our sons and the fact the majority of the time we do rub along together but he is not interested. I am so shocked, as we are his "second" family after he was left by his first wife and children and he made it clear he had been gutted not living with his children (he still sees them all the time).

now, I know Ishouldn't have but I checked his phone, I found an entry undera mans name (I have NEVER heard him mention this person) hidden in his archive file in the phone. Then I checked his messae counter and it appears he and this"trevor" have been texting each other V regularly, esp late at night. Being as he is constantly walking round with his mobile attached to him I think I may already know the answer o the question I guess I am asking.

I have written the number down - do I ring it? how do Ifind out this persons name (if a woman answers?!)

Sorry if you got this far

OP posts:
sickofthisrain · 03/01/2009 14:06

congratulations, I've also read most of the thread and am so pleased for your happy ending. Wishing you all the best for the future!

isheisnthe · 18/08/2009 18:37

Quick further update - wedding is in October! This year!!!!! Lots of organising to do, its not a massive "do" but in a church with an evening reception for family and lots of friends in a lovely venue - took the plunge and emailed ex to let him know - just in case the boys did, he seemed....shocked?

Very happy, boys are wildly excited that we are getting married (all 4 of us - they want to marry me too ) I have told them the wedding is about confirming the fact we are a family.

Not going on honeymoon straight away as I dont want the boys to feel that we have got married and then left them - and we have a nice holiday planned in August anyway.

Goodluck to anyone else that has gone/is going through this - there are happy endings out there x

OP posts:
Heated · 18/08/2009 19:45

Fabulous congratulations! Your soon-to-be dh sounds lovely and am so glad you and the dcs are so happy

I've just sat and read the whole thread (over an hour!) and it reads like a novel, you write so expressively. The 'good guys' have got the wonderful happy ending and the 'villain' of the piece is sadder (not sure if wiser) and diminished by their own actions. WAs really inspired by your transformation; this thread ought to be put somewhere for others going through similar.

isheisnthe · 18/08/2009 20:22

thanks heated - see so many poeople on here going through it that I had to give an update - hope they jump on this thread - I was so low back then, but hell yes life just gets better! My lovely beautiful boys and their special "step" (hate that word - he's worth more than that!) dad are the best thing in the world and although I am glad I met ex arse as I wouldnt have the boys I now know what its like to live in a true partnership x

OP posts:
saintmaybe · 18/08/2009 22:31

lovely, ishe

I rremember your threads, that's so good to read.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 18/08/2009 22:43

Wow, I've just read the whole lot - I did realise it was an old thread and wondered why it had been bumped, and by whom. It was rather like reading an exciting novel - what happens next? So, what a lovely "end", I wish you all the very best for the future.

Rindercella · 18/08/2009 22:46

Bloody hell ishe. I have just read the whole of your thread and ended up in tears! What a bloody amazing woman you are. I am so pleased that things have worked out so beautifully for you. The over-riding thing in this thread, through all the shit your ex put you through, was your passion for your DSs.

Early on in the thread, I did a quick copy of a line you wrote, which I thought was where the worm turned for you: "I will not have him pissing off with money that should be housing the boys to play chavvy families with sodding slut face trevor." But mostly, I PMSL at your turn of phrase "sodding slut face trevor"

Well done you and I wish you & your family all the best. Good luck with the wedding

CarGirl · 18/08/2009 22:50

ooooooo, don't forget to send me an invite to the church bit. I always keep a look out for you but never noticed you'd updated this thread and were engaged!

Doha · 18/08/2009 23:00

Just read this thread from the start.
Took ages,
who needs Mills and Boon when we get success storied like this on MN.

Congratulations and very best wishes to you and your DP.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 18/08/2009 23:00

"By isheisnthe

thanks heated - see so many poeople on here going through it that I had to give an update - hope they jump on this thread - I was so low back then, but hell yes life just gets better!"

I've just linked to this thread here. Hope it helps.

OnlyWantsOneDoesntLikeDM · 18/08/2009 23:04

I have just read all of this and started by thing oh god poor OP. Got to the end and am so so so happy for you x x x x x x x

BitOfFun · 18/08/2009 23:32

Fantastic news- I missed all of this because it was long bafore I joined a year ago, but it is lovely to see an update like this and feel like I've shared somebody's happy ending: all the best to you and your family, and I hope you will post more so we can pester you about all the arrangements and enjoy your wedding- you are an inspiration!

hambler · 19/08/2009 01:26

wonderful! Best of luck to you and your family

isheisnthe · 19/08/2009 08:03

thank you everyone - I always think twice before posting an update as I dont want people to think "so what"!

If you want me to I am happy to post an update about the wedding tho - Only bummer about being happy is I have put back on to the pound what I lost when I went through that stress - 2 months to go and I need to lose a stone - any one get any ideas!!!

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 19/08/2009 08:54

You could come and join us on this thread? We have a few laughs and lose weight/eat healthily (and the very best people are all there

CoffeeCrazedMama · 19/08/2009 10:44

Oh Ishe - never worry about posting updates. I often wonder what happens to people when their threads peter out. You see some people on here struggling with awful situations like yours was, and read on hoping they will get through.

I well remember your thread and its so nice to see you did come out on top. I thought you had it in you at the time!

isheisnthe · 19/08/2009 20:42

another quick one- I got a job a went for today - and so did DP!! More money in the house for DS's and us!

2009 is a good year for us, i hope!

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 19/08/2009 20:45

Great!! Now send me some of your luck

AbricotsSecs · 19/08/2009 20:49

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AbricotsSecs · 19/08/2009 20:49

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mamalovesmojitos · 19/08/2009 21:48

wow! another one here who has just read the ENTIRE thread. i'm amazed. you should write a flippin book. congratulations, you are an inspiration

isheisnthe · 19/08/2009 22:40

Maybe I should print this off and think about writing one

ex is also pissing off to pastures new so wont be local anymore - thank god!

Better stop now as you are all giving me a big head! Again - thanks MN, with out this site there may have been a very different outcome

Good luck to anyone that is/has or will (unfortunatly) go through this x

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 19/08/2009 22:46

You really should

AbricotsSecs · 19/08/2009 22:59

This reply has been deleted

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mamalovesmojitos · 20/08/2009 21:25

i'm serious, it is a book! you have to do it! it would be so uplifting, just the kind of thing i'd read as i try and be positive about ever finding love again

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