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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

think I may have been right

957 replies

isheisnthe · 10/05/2007 06:59

DP has been very cool with me for about a month after a disaterious weekend away with the family, where he was very nasty and selfish. When we came home he moved in to the spare room and has been there since on and off.

Last week he announced that he wanted to split up - I was shocked. Our relationship (like most peoples) goes in peaks and troughs and I wasn't expecting it. I have begged and pleaded to make this work, esp for the sake of our sons and the fact the majority of the time we do rub along together but he is not interested. I am so shocked, as we are his "second" family after he was left by his first wife and children and he made it clear he had been gutted not living with his children (he still sees them all the time).

now, I know Ishouldn't have but I checked his phone, I found an entry undera mans name (I have NEVER heard him mention this person) hidden in his archive file in the phone. Then I checked his messae counter and it appears he and this"trevor" have been texting each other V regularly, esp late at night. Being as he is constantly walking round with his mobile attached to him I think I may already know the answer o the question I guess I am asking.

I have written the number down - do I ring it? how do Ifind out this persons name (if a woman answers?!)

Sorry if you got this far

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Dropdeadfred · 02/01/2009 12:43

Fantastic..I followed your story and I am so pleased that your life has been on a n upward curve...brilliant!!

MascaraOHara · 02/01/2009 12:44

Glad to hear the happy ending.

Have a fantastic 2009!

cheekysealion · 02/01/2009 12:46

WOW- i remember your thread...

good for you... what a great story...

hope 2009 brings you lots of love and happiness

isheisnthe · 02/01/2009 12:51

thanks ladies - and this time I go in to it with my eyes WIDE open! Happy new year to you all and again - thank you all so much for your support, advice and letting me rant away when I needed to.

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RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 02/01/2009 13:28

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MumHadEnoughTinsel · 02/01/2009 13:29

Wow, I have just read your thread from beginning to end and I want to say how wonderful you are!

I am so happy for you, even though I don't know you, that things have worked out for you. It was amazing reading back from the beginning and seeing how low you were to how you are now.

I truly hope you continue to be as happy as you are now, you certainly seem to deserve it. Things really do happen for a reason.

Best wishes xxxxxxxx

isheisnthe · 02/01/2009 13:30

i haven't re-read it - I dare not - I would be far to embarressed with all the spelling mistakes!

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cheekysealion · 02/01/2009 13:32

remind us where you meet new dp?

isheisnthe · 02/01/2009 13:38

through friends - why (hoping I've not been outed!)

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cheekysealion · 02/01/2009 13:39

just wondered... as a lone parent for 3years to give me some hope

LiffeySaysHappyNewYear · 02/01/2009 13:53

That's a lovely story isheisn'the. I read the first 3 and last 2 pages! and I'm delighted for you. My x is a nob too! So I like to read that it can all end happily.

isheisnthe · 02/01/2009 13:53

phew - thats okay then! - theres always hope - think it helps not to look tho, as I certainly wasn't looking!

Good luck

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isheisnthe · 02/01/2009 13:56

they are always nobs - thats why they are our ex's - whether its our choice or theres. Nob nob nob - thats better! Plus - and this is the thing that really makes me smile - he is now seeing someone older than him, as I am significantly younger than him that makes me smirk a little - chidish I know but hey ho!

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LiffeySaysHappyNewYear · 02/01/2009 14:04

I never look either! I'm trying to get a place of my own and a job first, and then I'll have a bit more to offer than just myself!!! As woman with two kids and no pot to piss in wouldn't attract a high calibre of gentleman! Other things matter more, but I don't have a heart of stone! Your story is lovely and you deserve it! Glad this one is not 'marriage-shy'. That speaks volumes really.

isheisnthe · 02/01/2009 14:12

it was actually me that was "marriage shy" this time, I said no in the summer (mean I know but I wanted to make sure I was saying yes for the right reasons other than just cos he is so good with my sons IYSWIM) but bless him he tried again.

I am lucky, its been a hard road to tread but I would take every step again.

Good luck with the job hunting!

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CoffeeCrazedMama · 02/01/2009 15:12

Ishe, I remember you story, I was so for you at the awful treatment your ex-p was dishing out, and am so thrilled you (and your dss) have come through so much stronger and happier. Just what I'd hoped! Well done!

CoffeeCrazedMama · 02/01/2009 15:13

'your' story, even !

NoShitSherlock · 02/01/2009 15:30

Congrats on your engagement and glad you are soooooooooo much happier now

coppertop · 02/01/2009 17:17

I've just read through the whole thread and am so happy for you, Ishe. Congratulations on the engagement.

isheisnthe · 02/01/2009 18:07

Thanks copper - I have begun re-reading this thread - got to the 23rd may so far - my god he was a horrible fucker! And I was a bit of a dope at times.

thought of sleeping with him even tho I knew what he had been up to - yuk! and even more yuk cos he is hardly drop dead (think paunch and balding!) - dare I read on I wonder!!!

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isheisnthe · 02/01/2009 20:41

o my god i was mad!

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poshsinglemum · 02/01/2009 22:44

Hi isheisnthe,
I have been so inspired by your thread and I'm so glad that it's worked out for you. I'm having problems with dd's dad but when I read this it reminds me that if one man dosn't want a happy ending, another man will only be happy to take his place. There are nice men out there and yes, we are worth it and so are our kids!

bigbaubleeyes · 03/01/2009 02:04

I am so happy for you - found this a couple of hours ago and sat and read most of it - you are great.

I found this thread full of courage and heart warming, thank you for sharing it and all the Mnetters too for their advice.

Best wishes x

P.S. You must update and let us all know about your happy ever after wedding!

AbricotsSecs · 03/01/2009 02:24

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isheisnthe · 03/01/2009 11:34

thats very true poshsinglemum, good luck with DD's dad

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