Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

GLAM & FAB TOUR - MEMBERS MEETING POINT!!!

998 replies

Ifonlyhewould · 09/05/2007 12:32

Hi Ladies

Hope you don't mind, ive started this thread to save hijacking the thread of others.

I thought we could use it to attract attention of the other members if needed or whatever

OP posts:
Dior · 27/06/2007 10:39

Message withdrawn

ginnedupmummy · 27/06/2007 11:53

Message withdrawn

TimeForMe · 27/06/2007 12:51

Wey Hey GUM!!

Nice to be back. Tried to lay low for a while, (thought people may be bit sick of hearing me)but i just couldn't keep my trap shut!!!

Things are ok in my quarters because i am making them ok. I am still using my 'technique' and it's working well. I am untouchable

Now, you just take advantage of the washer upper, in fact, pop next door and get theirs for him to do too! Don't get too excited about all the other stuff, it's a much softer landing when you fall from a lesser height

Paddlechick666 · 27/06/2007 13:24

TFM, thanks so much for the boost. Can't believe you stayed quiet for so long because you thought we'd be fed up of you! Keep the pearls of wisdom coming please!!

I have tried massively with the withdrawal thing, it took 6 weeks but he came around eventually. One w/end at home having a lovely domestic time with dd and he's back to square one.

He texted last night: "why do i always feel bad after a nice weekend" followed by a bunch more "whys" about his work finished with "it's hard and i don't like it".

i texted back that life is bloody hard but surely it can only get better and could he please ring dd now.

an hour or so later i flamed him and told him that my life was bloody hard too and the least he could do was make one phone call per day to his child.

two hours after that i texted "why bother eh?"

this morning he said "i can't handle this either. why bother true? you deserve better than i am giving you. x"

i haven't responded.

MLS, I very much doubt I will hear from him again in a good long while. Again....

TimeForMe · 27/06/2007 13:38

Right! This means war!! He is so damned right that you deserve better than this! So why the hell does he keep treating you like this.
I soooo wish you would slap those divorce papers on him!

He leaves, he stays away for weeks on end then he starts to feel guilty so he pops back home and plays 'daddy' for a very short while, just long enough to ease his guilt then he goes again!

I hope to God you are going to put your foot down this time, firmly on his forehead!

Do not let this man bring you down, do not let him destroy you. You are worth so much more than this and your life is just passing you by while you are worrying, waiting and anticipating his next move. Don't let him steal anymore of your life. Save it for a man who loves you and will cherish you and will be as a fantastic daddy to your little girl as you are a mummy xxx

Dior · 27/06/2007 14:24

Message withdrawn

LilyLoo · 27/06/2007 14:28

PC you sound much more down than you normally are, you really shouldn't feel bad about dd it is all understandable and when you feel better things will settle down again. Have you thought of trying them herbal pick me ups, IOHW recommended them i think but can't remeber the name.
Timeforme it's great to hear from you again, so glad everything still working out. It's been a good catch up day today, Dior , Ginnedup goo dto see you again.
Like the bird nest quote TFM very true.

TimeForMe · 27/06/2007 14:31

Hi Lily
It was 5htp and they work a treat, taking them with st johns wort at the mo.

Congratulations on the baby too, i am so happy for you xx

LilyLoo · 27/06/2007 14:35

Thanks tfm will let you know how i get on at scan tomorrow.

TimeForMe · 27/06/2007 14:36

You had better do! I'm all excited for you. We have something nice to look forward to x

LilyLoo · 27/06/2007 14:38

Hopefully will be a relief thats for sure. Will then have to get thinking of names for it. DS wants Tilak it's a boy from his school reading book and dd wants Peppa can't say i'm struck with either

Kewcumber · 27/06/2007 14:39

Paddle come over and see me if you have Friday night free... I have no life!

TimeForMe · 27/06/2007 14:41

might be best if you left it to the FAGOTS to decide a name!

I bet your DC's are really excited!

TimeForMe · 27/06/2007 14:42

Kewcumber - did you solve my cucumber problem? And what about my tomatoes!

TimeForMe · 27/06/2007 14:42

How far along are you Lily? when is the baby due?

Kewcumber · 27/06/2007 14:42

" you deserve better than i am giving you" is such a bloody cop out - I can almost hear the sigh followed by "poor little me"

And don't beat yourself up about being a horrible mummy - 18 months is a hard age if you'd seen me with DS last week you'd have been horrified

Kewcumber · 27/06/2007 14:43

no solution - still in deep mourning.

LilyLoo · 27/06/2007 14:44

yeah ds is really excited , was so cute when i told him he gave me a massive hug. I'm 12 weeks due on the 8th Jan 5 days before dd's b day so will be hectic and busy!
Like the name Kewcumber

mylittlestar · 27/06/2007 14:48

Kewcumber is so right. If I had a pound for every time H said 'you deserve better than me... I'm so sorry' I wouldn't be looking for a bloody new job now, and that's for sure!!
It is most definitely a cop out. Feeling sorry for himself. Telling himself he's doing the honourable thing by leaving you because 'he's not good enough'. Well he would be good enough if he stuck around for 5 minutes and actually tried!!

Sorry - rant over! PC my heart breaks for you. This has been going on so long. In your case I know I can definitely say that you do deserve so much better.

Lilyloo glad we have your good news and something to look forward to. Looking forward to hearing about the scan

TimeForMe · 27/06/2007 14:50

That wasn't a rant MLS, it was a statement of truth. It is a cop out!

Paddlechick666 · 27/06/2007 15:31

ooh hello QC, what ya doin over here then?

am trying not to burden RL friends with continued tales of H's crapness.

i wish i could just march down to the solicitors and slap a divorce on his waste of space butt. there's always another excuse not to do it.

the finality of it is daunting and also the feeling like i am letting him get off scot free. he gets a divorce and his legal confirmation of his lack of responsibility back and i get a confirmed lone parent life with no support/backup etc.

i know that's pretty much how it is at present anyway but at least while we're still nominally married he carries some sense of duty which transmutes into guilt over the situation.

i just bloody wish i could just walk away from it all.

ps: thanks for offer of Friday night. am going to try to meet a friend in an actual real life pub!

Dior · 27/06/2007 15:51

Message withdrawn

TimeForMe · 27/06/2007 15:54

Now, if i were to look a little deeper into your words and your way of thinking PC, I would say that you are not quite ready to let go yet, not ready to make it final and end it once and for all.

But I'm no expert so maybe I'm wrong

Dior · 27/06/2007 15:55

Message withdrawn

Paddlechick666 · 27/06/2007 15:59

maybe i'm just a stubborn old bag who refuses not to get her own way!

lol

maybe i'm so blardy arrogant that i think i can make him get better and be the parent/husband i want him to be (and he wants to be allegedley).

and maybe i'm just too conceited and proud to admit defeat, acknowledge the absolute error of my ways and move on.

or maybe, you're both right and i haven't reached the end of the road just yet.

i do feel like stamping my foot, throwing a paddy and shouting "it's not fair" tho.

ps: and maybe you're too darn shrewd and perceptive you two!!