GLAM & FAB TOUR - MEMBERS MEETING POINT!!!

[Ifonlyhewould]

Hi Ladies

Hope you don't mind, ive started this thread to save hijacking the thread of others.

I thought we could use it to attract attention of the other members if needed or whatever

Dior that's pretty much exactly what I just said on your thread. I think he makes you doubt yourself. But you need to remember what you just said... you're not the baddy

Well hopefully what it might do is help you articulate the reasons for ending things.

It's difficult to explain if he's making you doubt yourself. But if you can get it out in a structured way, and understand your reasons clearly without him clouding your judgement, then that should give you the strength to go through with whatever you decide. (If that makes sense!)

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Sorry you had such a shit night. Know what you mean about not being ready to call them 'ex'. I've had to drop the D though as H is anything but dear at the moment. It's hard to let go of that final glimmer of hope that they will sort themselves out isn't it.

I am feeling calm and rational today for some reason. Sure it won't last!

I emailed IOHW just before my holiday and she was absolutely fine. But I noticed she hasn't been on while I was away so I emailed her yesterday and have not heared anything back.
Anyone else heard?
Hopefully she's just really happy and enjoying things going well.
(Although we could do with her on here to tell us some positive stories if that's the case!! And to cheer us up!)

I am so out of touch with everyone, finding anything 'serious too difficult right now. Hope you had good holiday mls,

Tough day today. Unless emergency come in, mil scheduled to have op this afternoon to remove tumour.

It's so hard being over here and realying on people to keep us up to date, and more often than not, getting mixed up, forgetting etc etc.

Dh very stressed obv about it. Was in London last w/e. I can't visit as have to look after dc's- And ds3 had op on monday. (Circumcision) OK; nothing major, but was very hard, How I wept when he went under. It just breaks my heart. Now he's fine, except when he wee, when he'ss in a lot of pain. Now worrying he's starting to withhold it. Really feel like he's been sold short. I remember when ds1 had his op, me & dh were both there for him, both parents, cards from family, love & pressies, the works. Ds 3 got weeping mummy and sod all else

but sorry not been around, t hen you come back to it and everything's moved on so much

And can't msn

oh ernest I really hope you're ok. you have so much to deal with. you're doing amazingly well. and remember all ds3 needed was his mummy, nothing and nobody else.

I hope the op goes well today. Thinking of you all xx

Just heard from IOHW - she's absolutely fine

Hi all me too been hiding really - though i get support from you guys sometimes so sad that a bunch of selfish men can hurt and desroy so many good and strong womens lives in various ways - up and down here and feelingso crap with PG head all over the place want to do best for DC but really don't know what that is and somehow want whats best for me as well....and bugger if I don't feel sorry for DH as well even though its is fault he looks so sad sometimes

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Very true

Although I wouldn't object if a handsome bloke wanted to sweep me off my feet right now and make me forget everything else!!

just caught h in a pub with a thing on his lap he was holding her and kissing her shoulder

mel have just seen your thread will reply there xx

GRRRRR well me and (D)H have been getting on ok living apart but spending time together and really me just waiting to see what happens when OW baby born.....so tonight just chatting about work I mention that some guy at work was quite flirty (he was with his GF and she shot me daggers ) I remained professional but though quite funny (in retrospect shouldn't have told him) he got a bit funny so I jokingly said he always overreacts he got angry and said when ..... and so he brings up an episode shortly after I found out about OW when he was actually living with her when some gut chatted me up ( I have always refused to tell him who as I know how he would react and at time told him to piss him off )anyway in the greater scheme of eveything he did a flirty conversation with some guy is nothing their was no date no tel no exchanged no nothing really.....anyway he starts on tonight who is he and getting angrier and angrier - I point blank refuse to tell him I know he would go out find him and beat him up (which would be ridiculous and embaressing a year later the poor guy probably wouldn't even remember the only reason I do is because it really soothed my damaged self esteem)....so now he has stormed out saying if I won't tell him it is all over (what???) and then sent me a text asking if my baby (13 weeks PG) s really his.....am now furious he won't talk about his affair the OW what happened and expects me to move on as in his words "it s in past" but now he can decide it is over because of this am just a bit shocked and angry have sent him text saying if he needs to ask then there is no point him beng in any of his lives and now will try and ignore him but am really fed up of his self centred immature behaviour

sorry macdoodle only just seen this

what a complete arse! just because he knows what he is capable of he is projecting that onto you and completely overreacting!

I would take 2 things from this...

1. If he has said it is over because of a brief flirt with 1 person then how would he have behaved if you had been the one who had an affair and had a child with someone else? would he have been so understanding and given you all the chances? I doubt it!

(fwiw my H is exactly the same. I know for a fact that if I had even so much as snogged someone else, let alone had a full blown affair, I'd have been kicked out before I could even speak! This tells us a lot about their committment to us, versus what we are prepared to put up with off them!)

2. If he really means it is over because of this, do you even want him back?

What's happened over the weekend? I hope everything is ok xx

everyone (paddlechick in particular)...

I was talking to sugar over the weekend - is the meet up still on? If so what are the latest plans/dates and who is available... shall we start a list here (I can't get onto the MSN group at work!)

From memory I think the last dates we were looking at were 10th or 11th August in London. Is that right? I could make either of them.

I will keep this bumped so you all see....

hi everyone, sorry haven't been posting much. have just been too stressed out about everything recently.

Financially I am on the ropes so have to say anything that involves travel and hotels just isn't feasible for me right now.

Am happy to do a London event and put a few people up at my place but it'd have to be a Friday and dependent on my Ma having dd. I'd have to leave by noon on the Saturday to pick up dd as well.

hi there

thought you probably hadn't been on as there is too much going on for you at the moment

is everything ok?

do you think we'd be better putting it off until maybe autumn, sept/oct time, and hopefully we'll all be a bit more sorted by then?

hiya

maybe it would be good to postpone it for a bit.

things might be more settled with H and finances in the autumn so i could afford it and feel able to leave dd with H.

of course that's just my situ - don't cancel/postpone just for me.

i am okay but feel weirdly detached and just so so so weary and exhausted.

H was here all weekend and it was nice but not the wonderful thing I'd hoped for. Mainly because of me, just didn't have the energy to put into it.

he was great with dd and she was overjoyed to have him around. we just did domestic stuff and took dd out/swimming etc. watched movies and ate dinner.

talked about the future and he clearly isn't planning on moving back anytime soon. altho i don't want him to anyway, we're both thinking by Xmas.

am still continuing with my plan to buy my own place.

plan to have lunch during the week, speak on the phone each day and he comes on sundays or for weekends.

i just don't feel like i've got the energy to put into it tho. it was nice to see him and a pleasure to see him with dd but i feel a bit dead inside tbh.

am dreading dd coming home from CM and looking for him.

if he lets her down again i don't see how i could ever forgive him again......

thanks MLS tknow everyone is stressed...
well after weekend away with my sister and DD (fab) - (D)H just back to normal grrr...has DD today so when I got in gave me hug and kiss and asked how I was feeling to say I was frosty is understatement when asked me what was wrong just could not be arsed for argument and said I was tired...so after accusing me of having someone elses baby slamming doors and going off in huff shouting its all over and telling me to F off AFTER everything he has done to me and tarts baby due in week....now all back to normal (well his normal) oh just so fed up with this crap How do I get through to him when I don't even know what I want

Sorry to hear everyones feeling so blah.

I cant make those dates in August as will be staying with my parents, but would still like to aim for a meetup later if people feel that would be better.

Finances will be an issue, but if we know well in advance, should be able to save!

yes seems like a good idea to postpone the meet up then and we can all have a bit of time to save and sort ourselves out!
(maybe we should start a meet-up thread and then we can all discuss it there and plan a good date etc...)

pc that sounds a lot more positive. at least he seems to be looking more than 5 minutes into the future now and starting to commit to some sort of routine. I'm not surprised you're worn out with it all and I bet you don't want to get your hopes up again after the amount of times you've been let down in the past. I think you're doing the right thing just taking one day at a time and seeing what happens. Keep your guard up this time. It can't be any worse than in the past, so hopefully you have both turned a corner and there is now a glimmer of hope for him sorting himself out

macdoodle I don't know how you cope with your H to be honest. After everything he's done he seems to be totally unaware of what you have been (and are) going through, and especially with ow's baby due so soon. You're right that you really do need to decide what you want. Do you really want the man he has become? I've said it about my own situation, and I really feel that if after an affair, the partner in the wrong cannot do everything in their power to make things right, then there is no relationship to fight for. It has to be 100% from both sides and I just don't think he's giving that to you

morning all just having a quick catch up. to see no good news around.
We thinking of taking dc's to disneyland next year MLS as they will be at a lovely age to enjoy although am about an 8 hour flight with a six month old baby.
Glad to knoe iohw is ok is she just off mnet then ?
Sorry to see everyone else is still struggling to get by, it's good to know that you all have this to come back to for a shoulder to lean on when you need it though although not good that so many of us in similair circumstances.
Everyone take care and much love to all your wonderful dc's.

hi lily

good to hear from you

how have you been feeling?

I think the benefit of the 8 hour flight when the baby is that young is that you have every chance of him/her sleeping a lot of the time! Plus they will not be crawling or walking so no desire to get down and cause havoc in the isles!!

I think it's probably a good age to take the baby. I'd go for it!

Hi all,
Sorry, another who hasn't posted for a while. With moving back to London, going back to work, not to mention staying with somebody different every week, it's been hard. Then it's hard to keep up with what's happened with everyone. Plus I just haven't wanted to talk about things really.

Sorry to hear things are so glum for so many of us right now. As for me, I'm happy to be back at work, and dd is enjoying being back at her nursery with her friends. Can't remember if I said this already, but H has moved in with Sarah. He charmingly told me it was mainly to save money, and also told me he didn't love her. Have heard via someone else that she is looking for more commitment from him, stupid little trollop! Seriously, how stupid is she, having just moved in with a man who left his wife and child 2 months ago!! What does she want, a ring on her finger!!??! A baby?!

So, with tosspot living with slutguts, it means that dd can't go and stay with him, he just takes her out for a couple of hours once or twice a week. TP agrees that dd shouldn't meet slutguts, or go to their house, and then when drunk gives me a hard time that I won't let her go. Exhausting.

He also claims that he is giving me far more money than he needs to, which isn't true, but he doesn't accept this, and actually starts a "My solicitor is better than your solicitor" conversation........

Anyway, home from work today again as dd has had a sicky bug since Friday night. Might actually have some time to catch up today!