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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

GLAM & FAB TOUR - MEMBERS MEETING POINT!!!

998 replies

Ifonlyhewould · 09/05/2007 12:32

Hi Ladies

Hope you don't mind, ive started this thread to save hijacking the thread of others.

I thought we could use it to attract attention of the other members if needed or whatever

OP posts:
Cashncarry · 08/06/2007 21:53

Hello all Hope you guys are all well considering all the woes I'm now caught up on....

Is it too late to wish MLS a good holiday! Thank the Lord you're finally taking our advice - have a great time, you deserve it

Someone catch me up, quick - I'm confused by all the name-changing

P.S. I'm fine btw - just a teeny tiny bit exhausted!

Dior · 08/06/2007 21:59

Message withdrawn

Cashncarry · 08/06/2007 22:01

Hey Dior - how the heck are you?? Will try to catch up on your thread now I think

How are things going with DH? I see he's being "nice" - not always a good thing IME ...how are things at work?

ohsmellyjelly · 08/06/2007 22:08

Hi CNC, good to see you

Dior, will catch up properly tomorrow. IKWYM re making the decision it's the unknown that is scary but we have to be selfish to some extent or spend our lives unhappy Life's too short to be sad for such a long time...

FWIW I'm not really any clearer now having come this far down the road.

Hope you are ok, thinking of you. x

Cashncarry · 08/06/2007 22:29

OSJ - it's good to "see" you too

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time with H. FWIW I don't think you're in the opposite boat to people on this thread. I think it must have taken a lot for you to make the decision that you have. You're very brave for being active and bringing your rship up to the "make or break" stage - I'm not sure I have the courage to do the same although Lord knows I have the reason!

Dior - have had a read of your thread. I really feel for you You're trying so hard on so many fronts. Who's trying hard for you? I will join the chorus of other posters who have all said you should be more selfish not less. Good for you for organising some nights out. It's always good to let off steam with the girls ... which reminds me, I must go off and check the MSN thingymibob to see how we're doing with organising a night out. Last I heard, there was the possibility of it being in London which means I might at least have a chance of making it so you can see my hairy trucker hands

ohsmellyjelly · 09/06/2007 15:00

Hi all, hope you're ok and enjoying some sunshine

Just come on to let off steam really! H stayed out and got drunk last night instead of thinking time which he said he wanted. Arranged to speak to him before I went to bed but when I phoned his phone was off. He slept in his car aparently then turned up here hungover and yawning his head off . He knows full bloody well that ds is not sleeping much atm but didn't even bother to ask how my night was, just crapping on about how tired he is.

So today it feels as though we are back to square 1, the resentment and anger has returned and I just don't know what to do. It's pretty awkward as we can't talk properly til dc's in bed, have just sent him out to take ds and dog for a walk so I can get a bit of space!!

Really worried for the future

ernest · 09/06/2007 15:44

hi all, sorry to cast a downer, but last night got a call to say mil's got a brain tumor . She was taken into hospital after being ill, sick dizzy etc for about a week. 3 different doc said it was a really nasty ear infection, but now this. Brain tumor. They're going to try and opperate. I dunno what the future brings, but brain tumour doesn' ^t generally sound good. I might start a thread. Just cos it's so totally unkonwn to me. No idea if this is IT (she was diagnosed with cancer 18 months ago) or if tumours can be whipped out and all ok again for years after.

I' just glad we kept the affair from her. It was important to me then, and we took her on holiday to Austria, and if she doesn't make it, at least we won't have hurt her in her last few months.

Hope everone looks after themselves xx

macdoodle · 09/06/2007 18:41

so sorry ernest how awful well done you for wanting to protect her ...
Is it a primary brain tumour or a spread from her previous cancer ??

ohsmellyjelly · 09/06/2007 19:51

Ernest

So sorry, no experience of this but hope you're ok..

Fubsy · 09/06/2007 20:30

Thats awful about your MIL ernest. very brave of you to keep things as normal as poss for her.

Can only hope this doesnt cloud other issues too much for you.

ernest · 09/06/2007 21:27

they didn't know yesterday if it's primary or not. She has cancer of the peritoneum, but responded brilliantly to the chemo, was hardly ill with it etc so this huge shock. Prob also is fil so shook up he's forgetting/misremebering info, so he said they'd try and operate only if it's primary or secondary but he couldn't remember which! Also, after doc explained they'd found the tumour etc he listened for about half an hour, then said, ?so does this rule out the ear infection then?' Poor sod.

Found out today the are transfering her to neurological hospital and will operate when a bed becomes available, so in next couple of days, for bed if not op.

Dh very shook up. Poor sil is due her 1st baby in 4 or 5 weeks. She's totally devastated.

Dior · 09/06/2007 22:14

Message withdrawn

macdoodle · 10/06/2007 00:00

Hi all gish i wish things would just get better I reckon we all deserve it ...
I think I am coming to a decision in my head that I don't really want him back (even with new baby coming) -just have no idea how to actually tell him without fighting and it turning nasty - talk to my BF and it all seems so sensible and rational but I know he won't see it like that ...I truly want us to be friends for DD (and baby to be) oh don't know what to do ....

macdoodle · 10/06/2007 00:01

BF = BEST friend (as in female closest and mots trusted) def def NOT boyfriend off men for a looooong while (after all I have a rabbit am financially independant and have good friends what on earth do I need a man for )

Dior · 12/06/2007 16:23

Message withdrawn

Fubsy · 12/06/2007 21:24

Crap at the moment. P was away at the weekend, so it was a bit of a taster for the future. Things were OK, but I got quite stressed, especially when DD left the bag with his fathers day present in a shop and I didnt find out until we got back.

The ball is rolling now for the change of mortgage. P has found a place he likes, buit of course someone else has put an offer on it while he was away. He will not even consider renting while he looks. he also keeps going on about this "charge" he will be having on the house - which he says gives him half of any equity the house makes if/when I sell. Whenever i query this he says weve got to sell now so he can have the money. he acts as if he is doing me a favour letting me live in the house.

Today i asked him why I wasnt just paying him rent to stay there, and he went of into one because he wouldnt have any money for a deposit on his own place.

I can understand that as I couldnt buy him out he is entitled to something, but I am already remortgaging for more than the original mortgage so he can have a deposit. But I hate that all he seems to care about at the moment is how much money he will have/make.

Ive made out a budget plan, where DD and I can more or less live as we do now without the frills, and it takes up virtually every penny I earn plus the maintenance. He hasnt done this. But he never would - which is why we have the debts we have now.

Someone asked me if I was going to charge him rent when the mortgage came through, when I jokingly mentioned this to him he flew off the handle and said if I was going to get arsey he would make me sell the house.

he still thinks he has control!

I am just so pissed off at the moment. Then he said he's been invited to go away again this weekend. But when i pointed out how he has the optiopn to just swan off when he likes but i have to stay here, he went a bit quiet. I know its not going to happen - no one is going to ask me to go away for a spur of the moment weekend because most of my friends have kids and know the score. But Im annoyed because the bloke who invited him has 2 kids of his own!

Its bloody childminders and housemaids they want, not partners.

Sorry to go on, Ive been feeling quite calm for a while, but now Im just fed up.

LilyLoo · 13/06/2007 09:08

Hello ladies am back around again.
How is everyone a quick low down would be good if anyone can help me catch up please ?
Hows the night out going ?
Sorry i haven't been around but i have been very sick due to us expecting a new addition to the family. It was a but we are really pleased now especially the dc's and obviously it's another step forward for us in our relationship.
Have missed all the chat and can't wait to catch up again x

Dior · 13/06/2007 14:19

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Dior · 13/06/2007 16:01

Message withdrawn

warthog · 13/06/2007 16:47

am i the only person who wonders what the hell this thread is and why it's in relationships?

warthog · 13/06/2007 16:50

not meant in a nasty way you understand. just want to know if this is a secret sect?

Dior · 13/06/2007 16:52

Message withdrawn

warthog · 13/06/2007 17:13

oh right. that's what's great about mn! as you were..

Fubsy · 13/06/2007 22:30

LOL Warthog, I like the idea of being part of a secret sect!

Lily - congratulations! thats really exciting and some good newes for a change.

Dior - theres some light at the end of the tunnel - P has had an offer accepted on a flat, so now we can actually get things moving.

(DD is really excited as its near a playground and has a big communal garden - very nice actually, ive seen it - and she said she cant wait for daddy to move! You should have seen his face!)

warthog · 13/06/2007 23:17

i wish i had a lovely group like you lot. but i won't crash. just hope you all are getting better treatment from your dps.