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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

GLAM & FAB TOUR - MEMBERS MEETING POINT!!!

998 replies

Ifonlyhewould · 09/05/2007 12:32

Hi Ladies

Hope you don't mind, ive started this thread to save hijacking the thread of others.

I thought we could use it to attract attention of the other members if needed or whatever

OP posts:
Fubsy · 30/05/2007 21:17

So, where to start?

MLS, you are being incredibly brave and in control taking DS abroad on your own. im sure youll have a brilliant time in France, id like to do that if I had the money, but instead Im aiming to do some camping with DD in this country.

And why not go for the meal out? itll be interesting to see how H responds, but if nothing else, you will see what it is like having a life of your own. (FWIW my friend in RL says that if I ever go on a date she is going to sit three tables away and text me with an urgent message if he looks like a dick )

PC, but stay strong - seems like he's waiting for the breakdown and "please come back". Why is he messing around with money? Its just taunting.

Sunshine and Dior - have a great time! What a coincidence - Ive met people in RL who went to school near me, but I live half the country away!

Ernest - what a dilemma. I would have thought that teaching would set you up for quite a few careers - I can understand why you might not want to go back to "proper" teaching, and i know how difficult it is to get good jobs in some areas anyway.

Would DH be able to support you in Milan? Would it be longterm, or would you and the DCs be better staying at home where they are settled?

And Hi Sugah

Like your rules of dating!

Thanks everyone for comments yesterday - it was my decision in the end to tell DD, I felt I could time it better, especially as I am off work this week and we have a lot of time together. Everything seems much the same today - DD seems to be trying to be very well behaved, and I hope she isnt worried that Ill go as well. But Im fairly confident that she would tell me if she was worried like that.

ernest · 30/05/2007 21:30

ta fubsy. Maybe some of you can see this clearer than me...

I was a french teacher. Here, in International schools, they will only employ native speakers as language teachers, so that rules out french and German. I'm not an English teacher, either to English kids - only did english to 'o' level. Only read about 4 shakespear plays. I couldn't teach english any more than I could chemistry. Also couldn't teach English, I don't think. I can't explain the various forms, uses & rules of the past tense, bloody hell, don't even know the names of all of 'em. So I can't teach my subject. I'm unemployable!!!!! Unless I moved back to uk. Book Italy looking more likely than London at moment, sigh, but I really think I'm gonna put my foot down on that one. I can't speak a word of Italian, really don't fancy being a stranger in another foreign land, putting the boys though all the upheaval and having to learn another language. Plus, we can't move every cole of years, or even 5 or 6 or however often dh changes job. Plus, and finally, if he's working all the hours God sends, I'll be going through all this on my own while he's in the office till bloody 9 at night.

Rant over.

Fancy learning a musical instrument. Like the idea of piano. Had a bit of a go on ds's toy keyboard but I realised quickly it'll never be for me. My brain just could not tell my 2 hand to do different things. Had a go on recorder and really liked it, so think maybe some sort of woodwind. Dh plays guitar, thought it could be something we could do together. But it's sooo noisy. Boys are in bed and daren't practice as will wkae 'em up. Do any of you lot play anything? What'll go well with a guitar, be reasonably easy and quiet? Does such an instrument exist?

Fubsy, how old is your dd?

Fubsy · 30/05/2007 21:40

DD has just turned 6.

Im afraid Ernest, in your shoes id want to stay where I was! In fact before P decided to make a move, I was trying to get him to look at jobs abroad or at least further afield, as he hates his job here and its so specialised he cant get anything similar locally. I though it would help our relationship if he was at least doing something he liked, and it would give us space. But he decided to make the break but stay in the job.

Re your DCs being moved around, Forces families often manage with this, so i dont suppose it would be too damaging to your DCs, but it will definitely be hard for you.

helenhismadwife · 30/05/2007 23:09

sorry to intrude on this thread but have read this and the other one that mls started and I just wanted to say you are all amazing strong and dignified. Your dc's are all lucky to have such great mums and I hope you all find happiness and someone who loves you like you deserve to be loved. Wish I had found mn 8 years ago .......

Dior · 31/05/2007 00:07

Message withdrawn

Dior · 31/05/2007 00:09

Message withdrawn

ernest · 31/05/2007 06:41

hi helen, and welcome. Blimey you must've been up all night if you read through those 2 threads.....

Hope you're not in our position (?) (one of our various combinations ) but of course we're here for you too if you need.....

Between us, we've got big ears and broads shoulders. Paints a nie picture, huh?

mcd, ovely to see you btw. both beautiful and 'normall!)

Dh back tonight from Spain. Dunno if I'll already be in bed, so might not see him til tomorrow

macdoodle · 31/05/2007 08:22

thanks ernest

helenhismadwife · 31/05/2007 08:38

I was in your position with ex h, at the time I had ds and was very pregnant with dd who is now 16 so shows how long ago it was but I very clearly remember feeling very sick and anxious all the time crying wondering everytime he walked out of the door where he was really going and actually to ashamed to tell anyone close to me what was going on, because I felt that somehow it would be me who was judged and seen wanting if that makes sense, I was a
It did then but now I look back and think I should have told him to take a long drive off a short cliff road there was a lot of other things going on as well that I dont want to go into but then if I had done that I wouldnt have had two of my childres so I dont regret the fact we were together for 10 years after but were living very seperate lives, he was abusive and made me feel I was worthless and I put up with a load of crap from him.
finally I woke up, had an affair with a lovely (very single) man (my saviour)and left exh that was in 2001 swearing I would never marry again just have lots of fun then met dh in 2003 he moved in with me permanantely 10 days after meeting and we now have 2 dd's

helenhismadwife · 31/05/2007 08:40

big ears and broad shoulders

sort of shrek (or fiona) like and thats not an insult shrek is kinda cute lol

Dior · 31/05/2007 08:40

Message withdrawn

mylittlestar · 31/05/2007 08:53

welcome helen
good to hear a positive story and see there is a light at the end of the tunnel! I really hope there will be that happy ending for all of us.

Hope everyone's ok today. sad I missed toasted's last couple of posts but I'm sure I can guess. How awful to come on here just to hurt people. Man!

H and are have agreed no more contact except for things relating to ds. Has only been about 12 hours and I'm already struggling! But I think it's for the best so that I can move on and get rid of those last tiny shreds of hope. Reading back through my threads this morning and he really has put me through hell hasn't he. I need to remember that every time I weaken and want to contact him. He doesn't deserve me!!

Dior · 31/05/2007 08:57

Message withdrawn

mylittlestar · 31/05/2007 09:11

Thanks Dior. Yes you do need to believe it too

He says he loves me and is happy with me, but needs to live alone as there is something in him holding him back from giving us everything...

We've been round in circles. I think that the only thing holding him back is himself. We make our own decisions and if he wants to be a good husband and father then he can be! But he's leaving because he obviously must think there is something better out there, than the life he has with me.
I can guarantee he won't find it. But that won't help any of us will it. To be honest, and I've said this to him myself, I hate him right now for what he is doing. Never thought I'd hear myself say that

sugar34plum · 31/05/2007 09:32

morning all xx

I see toasted got deleted well done to whoever arranged that.

Helen hi and welcome.

mls one day at a time xx

lou loved the link theres a few dh out there that need to be sent that!

Hows is everyone else?

mylittlestar · 31/05/2007 09:42

I know lou's link was great wasn't it. I actually really laughed out loud when I saw it - and I haven't done that in a while!

ernest · 31/05/2007 09:49

I sent to to my dh in Spain. So far he has made no comment

mylittlestar · 31/05/2007 09:59

I'm considering breaking our 'no contact except regarding ds' rule on the first day to send it to dh.

But I think he'll realise himself soon enough!!

lou33 · 31/05/2007 10:44

i try to please

contentiouscat · 31/05/2007 12:06

Oh I saw a card once that I was itching to send to an ex

On the front it said "Jesus loves you"

Inside "But everyone else thinks you're a wanker"

Of course decided it wasnt worth spending the that much money on him.

mylittlestar · 31/05/2007 12:06

lol cc - I like that!

contentiouscat · 31/05/2007 12:11

Yeah I was very tempted but I decided I didnt want to waste £3 on him LOL

lou33 · 31/05/2007 14:33

you can get that as as t shirt

Fubsy · 31/05/2007 17:24

Hi Helen

MLS - how sad - why do men make their emotions so bloody complicated? Like ruining three people's lives is better than working through their feelings.

MacD - where are your pictures? I must get round to putting some on my profile - but I dont think ive got any of me taken since I was in plaster two years ago! Ill try and put some of DD on though.

macdoodle · 31/05/2007 18:03

Fubsy on the glam and fab MSN group - would prefer to stay anonymous as know a few RLers who use MN and mst people don't know all my sordid details and not everyone knows I am PG .....

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