i just rang and spoke to h for half an hour.
well i say spoke, ranted and raved and told him what a shit i think he is.
am shaking now.
reason i rang was over money as his payments have been going in but then taken out again. bank told me that this was an action on his part. he says that it's not soemthing he's actively done. prob SO bouncing as he's paid monthly now.
anyway, upshot is that i've told him he's a spineless idiot and he's run out of chances of with me.
he says he's stayed away for so long as "clearly that's what you wanted when you texted me" and admitted to not having the balls to speak to me.
i have told him that his chances are up and that i've had enough of his behaviour. he has gone away to formulate a plan/schedule for access to dd and will phone back to discuss his proposal.
i have told him i will not contribute anything further to the way forward or his life/issues elsewhere (skids etc).
i've told him he will only get access to dd if I decide - especially as his ex gets better support by withdrawing access. and that he will not get any access unsupervised.
i also told him his entire family are fucked up beyond belief.
he said he doesn't want anything or anyone else and he realises that it's in his hands now to prove to me that he can do this. he knows that i am the only person who has supported him and helped him over the last 2 years. his only explanation is that altho he appreciates it, it hasn't had any affect on making him feel well or like he has any future.
i told him i wasn't sure if there were a future for us anymore at all and that i reserve the right to kick him into touch even if he does come up with something workable.
feel quite shaky tbh. am quite angry with myself for ringing him as feel i will get sucked back into the old anxiety etc. i have also told him i will not communicate with him via text ever again.
am very unsure how i feel about him trying to fix the marriage. i am very much in the "arms crossed, go on then - prove it" frame of mind.......