macdoodle so sorry to hear what's been happening to you. I will write back properly soon. Just know that we will be here for you and many of us going through similar things - we will help in any way we can.
osj will check your thread now
pc - fantastic that he finally made the first move? I think it says a lot. have you replied? i think you should be very distant and business like if you do. let him keep making the first moves.
as for me - well my marriage officially ended last night. chat with dh turned into him basically saying he loves me, is never happier than when he's with me, but as he's been in a relationship for 14 years he needs to live alone for a while and 'get it out of his system'...
that was his reasoning when he left me last year. to get some 'space' and live alone. but he filled the last 6 months with sh*gging a 19 year old, has made himself very ill trying to live a double life... and is now back to square one!!!
if he'd have got this 'space' back then we'd be back together now and we'd be ok
so - after everything i've done. the love, support and forgiving the affair, he just walked out on me.
well that is the last time i let that b@stard trample all over my heart. he is making the biggest mistake of his life. and i know that when he's lived alone for a couple of months he'll be begging to come and have the family life he wants with me and the baby.
but i will never ever open up my heart to him again. for a man, husband, and father to have such total disregard for the feelings of those he loves is beyond words
only yesterday he said he'd support me through it all.
last night he said 'his heart is not in it'.
(that translates as "i am a selfish f*cker who cannot deal with the consequences of the affair i have had, and i would rather run away and live a single life than support those i love to deal with how badly i've ruined their lives")
i said the least he could do was support me through dealing with his affair so that i don't feel totally worthless. he said he couldn't.
his parents are livid. but there is nothing any of us can do.
not looking for any words of wisdom or advice here. just telling you so that you're all updated. i want this twunt out of mine and my baby's life and i now want to find a man who deserves me. he's hurt me for the last time