Do you think all men would cheat, given the opportunity?

[giggidy1]

Just curious really?

I'm single but have had a few long term relationships and all ended in cheating.

Since being single I'm shocked at the amount of times a married man has made a pass at me. A guy at work for example, puts on a facade of being happily married with a baby and toddler but has sent explicit messages to me on company email. Talking to friends I'm not the only one who has experienced this.

Looking through the relationship boards here they are full of similar stories.

It's got me thinking. Do you think that all men would cheat given the opportunity? Are some programmed this way? Or is it always symptomatic of the state of their relationship?

Not all men in all relationships. I know some who are so devoted to their partners (or terrified of them) i dont think that they would ever cheat.

It depends on your social circle. I moved from London where in my workplace it seemed like most men would to Ireland where it seems like no one cheats. I don't see it at work functions or hear rumors like I did in London.

orgazoid You see there is the problem - when you simplify what cheating is to you .... It's not always about a couple of minutes or in "a hole "or the other lovely phrases used often on here . It is about the MIND, it is the rush , it is the feeling wanted , it is the mental satisfaction - the sex is just an add on and yes often an amazing add on combined with the mind . My belief is that yes most men will cheat if given the chance . They are easily flattered.

No plenty of men would never have affairs. I don't think it would be fair to suggest otherwise.

if given the opportunity and he would not get caught and lose what he has at home then defiantly. I include my own husband in this

I thought so but then i met my current partner and i know he would never cheat on me, doesn't stop me being a bit jealous over him and protective as i dont trust other woman but i know he wouldn't ever go for it because he isn't a complete Tool.

Of course 'all men' wouldn't - you can't stereotype crappy behaviour based on gender. I know statistics sometimes suggest that men may be more likely to cheat, but I know plenty of men in LTR who wouldn't cheat - and some who have

DH wouldn't - so that's good enough for me.

I know just as many women who have cheated as men, btw...

Yes but the opportunity may be so out there it's very unlikely to happen.

For example 3-4 factors put together.

Because we are just evolved mammals, we have just learned to control primal behaviours. But during stress, bereavement, depression etc you may act very out of character.

I'd say the same for women too though. Women normally don't cheat for emotional reasons but when you are hurting there then that's a possibility.

And the 'given the opportunity' thing is BS, IMO.

If somebody wants to cheat they find a way and are probably 'on the look out' anyway. Most people are 'given the opportunity' - unless you have two heads you are going to get hit on sometimes.

As we are at the moment, I don't think DP would cheat. However, ten years down the road, if we're not happy in our relationship and he started to form a connection with someone else, then yes, it's possible. DP wouldn't cheat on me for sex but I wouldn't rule out him having an emotional affair that turns physical. Same for me.

Of course not all men would cheat. Nor would all women.

I never would because I have morals and think infidelity is totally wrong. Would make no difference if I knew I would not be found out.

My husband also shares my moral standard and would never cheat. Yes I can say with absolute certainty that in 39 years he has never cheated and never will. He has fallen out with friends who cheated as he also thinks it is totally wrong.

Christ, this question again, it seems to rear its head every few months with the obligatory moronic posts from a minority who honestly believe that all men simply can’t help shagging around if they can get away with it.

I have been around long enough to witness appalling behaviour by both men and women when it comes to infidelity. To think it is gender specific tells me you just need to step away from the MN relationship boards.

I have 2 neices and a nephew who are in the police and they say loads of their colleagues are having affairs. Some are married, some just living together. My neices and nephew are all horrified by it and say its disgusting. They range in age from 23 to 34

Before I was divorced I probably have said, of course all men wouldn't cheat.

Like you OP, now that I am single, I have a very different view.

Not just of men though. I think given an opportunity, MOST men would cheat. I know of quite a few women who would happily go along with being the OW and/or who have cheated too. I should add I am not one of them, but would say that 90% of 'offers' I have received since being single, are from married men.

I know my DP wouldn't. When we first met he had some performance issues that we had to work hard through, I don't think he could physically do it even if he wanted to, which I'm pretty sure he doesn't!
That's not saying he doesn't think about it, I don't think you can truly know someone and what they may/may not do when you're not around. Men and women alike are great at putting up false pretences.

Yes I agree if you're mainly on mn as a forum that will skew your thinking too, if you go on forums where men are posting more too you'll see a lot of posts from men who've been cheated on. Redressed the balance.

It's also quite an old fashioned and inaccurate view that men cheat for sex and women cheat more due to emotion.

I've been in circles through my life which are renowned for having high infidelity and relationship breakdown rates (army, police, healthcare, oil business) the women are just as bad as the men.

I do think a major reason why there's more infidelity in these areas is because it's easier to explain absences from home and claim "working overtime" etc. Thinking they're less likely to get caught.

Men and women in happy, fulfillig relationships don't cheat.

But i think that if someone isn't getting something they need from a relationship, they will seek it elsewhere, be that an emotional need or a sexual one.

lynsey. I know a couple of people in the Police force. They have a saying - 'join the force, get a divorce' (yes I know...). According to them there is a disproportionately high level of affairs in their jobs, for whatever reason.

I know my partner wouldn't cheat because he has it good with me (and vice versa) ,and wouldn't want to mess that up. However ,I'm sure if he was guaranteed no repercussions , noone finding out etc...he may do. Like a lot of men (and women ) probably would.

I think it's the possibility of losing what they have that puts a lot of people off cheating. No matter how small. If that possibility was eradicated I'm sure that would change a lot people's mindset ....

I think some would, and some wouldn't. Ditto women. If I had had a cast-iron guarantee that I'd never have been found out, and if the opportunity had arisen, I would have cheated when I was married. But I do think, too, that most people in an appalling marriage might feel the same.

Maybe I live on my own planet but I honestly believe DP never would

Plenty would I appreciate that but not all.

To be honest, as awful as it is. I would cheat if I knew there would be zero repercussions and no one would ever know. It's a purely physical attraction to an old friend. And if I knew that I had a free pass, I possibly would. But knowing the reality, there's no way I would. I wouldn't want to hurt my partner or risk our life together for a shag. Not even tempted

And my dp has a low sex drive and is permanently exhausted. He couldn't be bothered to cheat if it was offered on a plate.

Most men but not all.

Even if 100% guarantee not to be found out I still don't see the point of cheating
I love my husband but also respect him. I could not live with my conscience if I cheated. I enjoy sex but with my husband. Just not interested with anyone else